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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27945008">Your Hands in Mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luvless34/pseuds/Luvless34'>Luvless34</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, On The Way To A Smile: Final Fantasy VII</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Friendship/Love, References to Depression, Terminal Illnesses, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, True Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:08:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>54,644</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27945008</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luvless34/pseuds/Luvless34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that Cloud Strife returned home to Seventh Heaven after spending months away for Geostigma, things are finally settling down. The kids are happy and Tifa has gently welcomed Cloud back into the fold. While rebuilding their relationship, unexpected news means that life will never be the same again. </p><p>Looking ahead, Cloud learns about the lessons of the heart and how love transcends everything...even when life can be unfair.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. New Normal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Obviously this isn't canon compliant. I'm gonna try to research as much as possible on the condition that I'm writing about, but please don't be too critical if it's not completely accurate. I'm doing my best here.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s been a little over three months since Cloud returned home from his stint of living out at the Sector 5 Church. He was stricken with Geostigma, and isolated himself from the rest of the family. He accepted fate and was prepared to die alone and silently while keeping Tifa and the children safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, that’s not what the Planet determined for him. Instead, the Healing rains created by the spirit of Aerith Gainsborough erupted from the Lifestream and cured those with Geostigma. He ultimately found himself to be better than ever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene and Denzel were off with the other neighborhood children, playing on the streets. They promised that they’d be home in time for supper, and so Tifa was preparing pasta noodles with red sauce. Something that the children had been asking for, and something that was quick to assemble. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How was your day?” Cloud asked quietly. “Was it busy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No more worse than it was yesterday,” Tifa answered honestly. She paused. “Well, it got a little busy. I had to toss some folks out because they were getting a little too tipsy. He was scaring Marlene.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh...well, I hope he landed on his ass,” Cloud answered bluntly, prompting Tifa to shake her head. “Honestly, maybe it’s time we really try to limit how long the kids should be out during business hours.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re fine, Cloud.” Tifa tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear before shooting him one of her smiles that caused his heart to leap into his throat. “You should know by now how much ass I can kick. It’s a non-issue.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa came over, set down a mug of hot tea in front of Cloud, who gave her a look of thanks and took a slow sip. For the last several months since he returned home, there had been a lot of talks and repairing of their relationship that Cloud knew would take a while before Tifa would fully feel comfortable with his presence again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite their relationship, he knew that leaving the family like that with no word and for abandoning his family was something that most people would find unforgivable. Instead, Tifa took him back with a gentle welcome and slowly reintegrated him into the fold again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The children were less inhibited in their excitement. They were pleased as punch that Cloud was back home under the same roof. He’d always make it a priority to spend time with them all and to take off some time every now and then to go out on family outings together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, there was something on his mind about himself and Tifa that he knew would need to get resolved. They weren’t officially dating, nor did they feel the need to reaffirm that with any legal documents or with any sort of formal ceremony. They just took on the role of mother and father to two small children and achieved a commune together of sorts at Seventh Heaven. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After nearly witnessing the end of the Planet, anything else seemed pretty trivial in their eyes. Still, Cloud couldn’t help but sneak peeks at Tifa who was busy getting supper ready. She seemed so sure of what to do with her life and seemed pretty content with how things were. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t help but wonder maybe that was something Tifa would want...to be formalized and to get something more definitive between the two of them. Then again, words weren’t really necessary for what they were feeling towards each other. Cloud returned to his maps, frowning at the route that he crossed over twice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, there was a gasp and sounds of shattering glass. Cloud turned his attention to Tifa, who was grasping her wrists in pain. There were glass shards everywhere and the splattering of red sauce up against the counters and cabinets near the bar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa! You OK?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I’m fine,” Tifa said reassuredly. She looked down at the floor and sighed. “This is gonna be a pain to clean up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t move, let me grab the broom.” Cloud walked over to the supply closet before returning with a broom and dustpan. “Here, you sit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa obliged. “Thanks...I guess I lost my grip.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happens.” Cloud merely replied before sweeping up the broken glass into the dustpan. Just as he tossed the glass into the trash bin, he turned and found that Tifa was still gritting her teeth while massaging her wrists. “Tifa? Is something the matter with your hands?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bartender sighed. “I’ve been cramping up lately. Couldn’t finish my workout session yesterday and I’ve been having trouble carrying things too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh...how long has that been going on for?” Cloud asked, his eyes narrowing in concern. The bartender shook her head, jostling her dark tresses in the process. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm...it comes and goes,” she said lightly. “I think I might go to the clinic eventually though just to make sure it’s not something too serious. It’s been happening for a while now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thinking that Tifa might’ve pulled a muscle or she injured it somehow during one of her sparring matches, Cloud didn’t take this too seriously. He merely wanted her to take some time off and rest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why not go tomorrow?” Cloud suggested. “I can watch the bar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure? What about the deliveries?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure. Plus, Wednesdays are usually the slowest times for deliveries. I’m sure I can let my clients know about the situation. They’ll understand.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There seemed to be some hesitation, but Tifa nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“OK.Well, I’m glad to have you home. It’s nice being able to not worry about things around here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing, Tifa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just then, Marlene and Denzel ran through the front entrance of Seventh Heaven. Their excited smiles and heavy breathing indicating they just finished chasing their friends around Edge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re home!” Marlene shouted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can see that.” Tifa teased, though she hid her shaking hands underneath her apron. “Go ahead and wash up. Supper should be ready soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah, what happened here?” Denzel eyed the broken glass that Cloud was sweeping up and the splattered sauce stains on the cabinets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing to be worried about,” Cloud said, returning Denzel’s gaze as if warning him not to press it any further. “Just go get ready for supper.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel nodded and Marlene followed him up the stairs. When the kids were out of earshot, Cloud returned to his conversation with Tifa. “Do you need help getting to the clinic tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I should be fine walking there,” Tifa said with a smile. She attempted to get a pile of plates from the cupboard, but frowned at her shaking hands. “Dammit!” Suddenly, Tifa dropped the dishes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With his SOLDIER enhanced reflexes, Cloud quickly caught the falling plates in his hands before they could be smashed on impact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good catch!” Tifa said, though she seemed wary of what was happening. She examined her hands and their shaking. “Hmm...maybe that clinic visit isn’t coming soon enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you feeling OK?” Cloud asked worriedly. “That’s not like you to be dropping things everywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just muscle cramping,” Tifa brushed off. “I’ll just check in with the doctors tomorrow at the clinic and then go from there. I’m sure it’s nothing.” She smiled at Cloud, who returned one with a rare smile of his own. “No need to worry about me. I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you think you might have tendonitis?” Cloud asked. “I know that with you working so much and not really taking a break for yourself, you might’ve just exerted too much on your joints.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” Tifa shrugged. “Then again, I’m gonna wait until the doctors give me the diagnosis. I’m sure with a little rest, everything’s going to be fine. They might just tell me to take it easy until then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She then nodded to Cloud. “Would you mind bringing the plates over so I can plate some of the pasta? I’m sure you all are super hungry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The kids reappeared, and eagerly received their suppers of spaghetti and red sauce with fresh baked garlic bread. Though they spooned small amounts of salad to get their daily servings and to appease Tifa who would click her tongue if they avoided eating anything leafy and green. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This smells and looks amazing, Tifa.” Denzel twirled the noodles onto his fork and at it with a smile. “It tastes really good. Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem, help yourself!” Tifa nodded to Cloud who sat down next to Marlene with his plate. The ex-mercenary observed the situation around him. The children were doing much better, Denzel having been fully cured from Geostigma, and assumed a brotherly role for Marlene. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Marlene twirled spaghetti into her mouth, Cloud couldn’t help but think how far he and Marlene had come from their previous relationship. Early on during his Avalanche days, Marlene was scared of him and he didn’t know how to approach the child, almost receiving his ass on a silver platter from Barret for startling his little girl.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, he was able to be around Marlene. Though, he was still quiet, he knew that Marlene accepted him for being more introverted and that she knew he was trying to build a good relationship with her. He just was never good around kids. He never planned to have kids. But, now, he’s sitting at home with two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud observed Tifa who was carefully stirring the giant pot of sauce that was simmering on the stove. She seemed so sure of her role in the family as the matriarch. Cloud loved seeing Tifa every day and that this was their new normal now. Despite his former misgivings about normalcy and what that would ultimately mean for their future, he learned to embrace the peace and to know that he did indeed deserve to be happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Cloud broke from his thoughts and found that Tifa placed a plate of spaghetti in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were staring.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just remembering how beautiful you are,” Cloud said quietly so that Tifa was the only one who heard. She blushed a tremendous shade of red before stammering in thanks. He smirked at her reaction, knowing that Tifa always struggled to accept compliments from him, let alone when he flirted with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh stop it you,” Tifa waved him off before heading back to the stove for her own helping of pasta. Though, her hands were shaking quite a bit. Cloud quickly stood up and motioned for her to take a seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me get that for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can get it myself, Cloud,” Tifa said, embarrassed. “I don’t need you to cater to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, you had a long day,” he nodded. “At least, until you come back from the clinic tomorrow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sick Tifa?” Marlene asked carefully. Cloud and Tifa exchanged glances. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it bad?” Denzel asked quietly. Cloud sighed. He didn’t intend for the children to know about Tifa’s clinic visit unless it was something serious. There was no need to worry them if it was something minor like sore muscles or something like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“N-no!” Tifa waved her hands apologetically. “Just a normal check up. My muscles have been getting sore lately. Just need the doctors to take a look and to make sure I’m getting the right amount of rest. Don’t you guys worry about it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good!” Marlene said while spooning another forkful of pasta into her mouth. She chewed slowly before swallowing. “We just got done taking care of Cloud and Denzel, we don’t need you to get sick too!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone laughed at this and Denzel gently elbowed Marlene, to which she giggled. “We’re fine,” Tifa said with a smile. “Everything will be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Bad News</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was the next morning, and Tifa had excused herself from her duties at Seventh Heaven and left the bar in Cloud’s care. He made sure everything was running smoothly. Luckily it wasn’t a busy day and there were only a few regular customers who came in for their lunch break. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Cloud preferred to be out under the blue skies and traveling out on the dirt roads, he was fine with helping Tifa out at home base. Though he only learned vegetable names just a year ago. So, he often mixed up the food orders to some level, prompting customers to gently guide him to the proper dishes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He did have to admit, because of Tifa’s pristine reputation amongst customers, they were more than willing to put up with his mistakes. Though, they probably did grumble a bit after leaving the bar once they’ve finished their orders. Despite this, Cloud was doing fairly well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No Tifa today?” A handsome man asked. He seemed genuinely disappointed. “I was hoping to ask her something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s got a doctor’s appointment,” Cloud quietly replied, though he couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous at the customer’s interest in Tifa. “But, I can pass along the message to her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you...her boyfriend or something?” The customer asked with widened eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or something,” Cloud merely replied. He didn’t feel the need to establish that with the customers, but he couldn’t help but feel angry that some customer was actively seeking companionship with a bar employee, let alone Tifa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well can you ask if she’s free this weekend?” The man asked, clearly unaware of Cloud’s blossoming jealousy. “We talked about a martial arts demonstration coming through Edge, and I managed to scrape up some tickets. I thought maybe she’d want to go watch it with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>In your dreams</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Cloud thought bitterly to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, thanks buddy!” The customer placed a generous tip on the counter before heading out the door. “Tell Tifa I said hello!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud merely sighed before clearing the counter. It was like that a lot. Regulars loved the food and drinks, but mostly, single men would try to stop in and try to woo Tifa into going on a date with them. He would usually keep his comments to himself, knowing that he had no right to object to her dating life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We’re not official or anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Cloud thought slightly bitterly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She has every right to go out with whomever she wants. But...it’d be nice to know if she wants that, or if she expects us to be together officially? Shit, Cloud...we’ve been over this. Let things happen as they happen. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud placed some of the dirty dishes into the back sink, he started filling the basins with cold water. He scrubbed the plates with a sponge dripping in soap. The sudsy water sloshed around the sink while the man washed and cleaned profusely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced up at the clock hanging on the adjacent wall of the bar, and frowned. Tifa should be getting done with her appointment, but she was running late. Did something happen to her? Cloud merely shook his head and resumed his chores and washed the dishes in the back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe the appointment just went on longer than she thought, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Cloud reasoned with himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Or, maybe something bad happened on the way home? She’s a big girl, she can handle herself. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, Cloud couldn’t help but feel worried for Tifa. Normally, she’d call him if she was running behind. But, he acknowledged that she was most likely on her way back and that he would have nothing to worry about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as he finished washing the dishes and placing them on a rack to dry, he heard the back entrance open. Cloud barely took his eyes from his tasks before calling out to who he presumed to be Tifa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Back from the clinic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh huh…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cloud looked up and was startled to see Tifa’s eyes redder than her usual shade of garnet. In fact, they were shining from tears. He immediately turned off the water. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to talk about it...not right now.” Tifa sighed. “I need to go upstairs and take a nap. Dinner is whatever you and the kids can find in the back. I’m not feeling well and need some time alone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without waiting to hear Cloud’s response, the bartender ran upstairs and soon came the sounds of a slamming door, catching him off guard. He didn’t even hear the children returning from school and had just seen Tifa running upstairs to their surprise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is Tifa OK?” Denzel asked Cloud, who then turned to Marlene who seemed scared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure she is,” the ex-mercenary said. “Even if she’s not, she’ll be the first to tell us if something’s the matter. None of you have to worry about her. Just focus on school, alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” Denzel and Marlene exchanged looks before heading upstairs to go study in their room. Meanwhile, Cloud was left alone downstairs to ponder what just happened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later that night, Cloud brought up a plate of leftover pasta from the previous night and heated it up for Tifa. He gently knocked on their bedroom door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa? It’s me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m gonna come in.” Cloud opened the door and found that Tifa was laying face down on the bed, and she was quietly crying into her pillow. The courier slowly made his way around and placed the plate of food on top of the dresser before taking a seat on the bed next to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa? What’s wrong? Did something happen at the clinic?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud sighed. “You know, you can’t avoid the question forever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Tifa sat upright, wiping her eyes. She breathed deeply, as if she was composing herself. She then turned to Cloud and whispered, “A year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A year Cloud...that’s how much time I’ve got left.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her words grazed his heart like a sword piercing through his torso. He knew that feeling all too well, but this was different. The bartender avoided his gaze, though Cloud needed to know she was kidding. Or, that she was remotely even attempting to make a joke in bad taste. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mostly, he wanted to stay in denial that this was happening. That someone who he sought to protect, would still be taken away from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Cloud almost said in a dead whisper. “A year to get your hands fixed? Because, that’s plenty of time---”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud!” Tifa said angrily. “No. It’s not that! I have a year left before I’m gone.” She started sobbing into her hands, leaving her friend to look on in utter disbelief. “The doctors told me I have motor neurone disease. There’s no cure for it. There’s nothing they can do. Eventually, I’m gonna lose everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud’s mako-blue eyes shifted ever so slightly. He felt numb, as if he lost control of his senses and that everything around him was starting to blur together into a noiseless, colorless blob of nothing. There was no way in hell that Tifa Lockhart was going to die. There was just no way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, as he started into her beautiful ruby eyes, that’s when Cloud knew that Tifa wasn’t lying. She wouldn’t lie about something so cruel and terrible. His childhood friend who he swore to protect couldn’t even protect her from the onslaught of this disease. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s going to happen to you?” Cloud asked quietly. He tried to keep his emotions in check, but he could sense that his own voice was cracking despite himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wiped her eyes. “I’ll lose control of my muscles. I won’t be able to fight. I won’t be able to run Seventh Heaven...eventually, I’ll lose my ability to walk. I won’t be able to eat or drink.” Tifa then turned away from Cloud, and her hands were clasped together. In an even quieter voice, she said,  “I’ll eventually not be able to breathe on my own.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a long period of silence after that. Cloud couldn’t help but feel himself beginning to spiral out of control. No, not after everything they had been through...he couldn’t just imagine living his life without Tifa around. They had promised that they’d face things together, and that he’d be OK because he had her this time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud? Can you say something? Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to go out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?!” Tifa’s eyes widened in disbelief as Cloud slowly rose from the bed and stepped out of the room. “Are you seriously doing this right now?! Cloud! CLOUD!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud didn’t want to hear Tifa’s voice. He wanted to preserve everything he had experienced in the last few years of being reunited after being almost torn apart by their shared traumatic past. He needed some time to process the news. He couldn’t trust himself being with Tifa in the same room, knowing that he’d inevitably fail to save her and there was nothing else he could do about it. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Cherish These Moments</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cloud rode on Fenrir, zooming past people at break-neck speeds. He couldn’t hear or see anything in front of him, almost as if he was disembodied. He couldn’t feel the rain splattering against his driving goggles, or feel the cold water drip down his skin in droplets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted more than anything to disappear and melt into the sky. Perhaps even evaporating with the rain underneath the hot sun. There was nothing Cloud desire more was to disappear and pretend that he didn’t exist. The feelings he felt erupting beneath his facade were getting too great to hold back. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just when I thought I was being forgiven for my sins...I’m still being punished, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Cloud thought bitterly. He avoided swerving into a tree on the outskirts of Edge, arriving at a spot where he normally stopped on his routes to stretch his legs or to take a lunch break. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He removed his goggles and hopped off the bike slowly. He didn’t know what to do. The rain continued to pelt against him almost like daggers piercing him. Cloud stared up at the sky, the rain continuing to pour down on him. He remembered vaguely the events of the day that Zack Fair was taken away from him all those years ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Am I breaking a promise if I can’t help the people I love most? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Cloud thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why am I still being punished for what happened to the Planet? For not saving you and Aerith? I thought I was forgiven. Why is the Planet still wanting to destroy any chance of happiness that I have?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud let out a blood curdling scream. He screamed as loud as he could, hoping to knock himself unconscious from reality. There was no hope for Tifa, and yet, he was expected to let her die slowly and painfully. There was nothing he could do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“DAMMIT!” Cloud chucked his Fusion Sword up against some rocks and punched his fists up against boulders until his knuckles bled and soaked through his driving gloves. He felt his hair completely dampen against his forehead as he struggled to see through the water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whether it was the rain or his tears, Cloud couldn’t tell. Everything blurred together, and he couldn’t feel himself anymore. He felt numb to his circumstances. That this couldn’t possibly be the outcome that he was supposed to live with for the remainder of his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn it,” Cloud sobbed. He sat on a rock and wept as his fists stung from the repeated punches. The courier deftly removed his gloves, wincing at the congealed blood that formed over the wounds. He threw the gloves aside and sighed heavily. He didn’t want to get off from where he was sitting. He didn’t want to move. He believed that if he stayed put, then maybe, time would stay still and that would mean Tifa would stay with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’d stay. She’d be around to help Marlene tie her shoes or make pancakes with Denzel in the kitchen. Tifa would be around to talk about silly nothings with Cloud, and they’d live out the remainder of their days together. Cloud desperately wanted normalcy. He just wanted a normal, peaceful life with the children and the woman who he cherished most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why...Why are you doing this to us?” Cloud said aloud, staring back up into the sky. “Please...help us!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knowing that his prayers were unheard Cloud slowly rose from his rock and made his way back to Fenrir, lightning flashing across the sky, cracking the darkness and the man’s resolve. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud didn’t immediately go back to Seventh Heaven. He instead headed further out from Edge towards Kalm. There was one person who he felt he could talk to about this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Upon arriving at Kalm he walked through the square before arriving in front of one of the quaint Tudor style homes that lined the street. Gently, he knocked on the front door. The rain was continuing to pour on him, and never before had Cloud felt so cold, but he knew that this was bearable for the time being. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, the door opened, revealing Elmyra Gainsborough, Aerith’s adoptive mother. When she opened the door, she cautiously peered through it and gasped at the sight of Cloud. She quickly shut the door to unlock it before opening up fully to the ex-mercenary. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud? Goodness you’re soaking wet!” Elmyra exclaimed. “C’mon in. Let’s get you dried off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for intruding, Elmyra,” Cloud apologized. “I-I needed someone to talk to about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I figured as much,” she said. “It must be something super serious for you to come out this way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cloud stepped inside and removed his soaked boots. Elmyra jostled over with some hot mugs and directed him over to the small velvet couch that was in front of the fireplace, where a cheerful flame burned and crackled brightly. He graciously accepted the tea mug and drank quietly as Aerith’s mother slowly handed him a towel to dry off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took awhile before Cloud was completely warmed up from his excursion and he wasn’t sure how to begin, but Elmyra interrupted him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s about Tifa, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I figured as much,” Elmyra said quietly. “The look on your face pretty much said it all. Something’s happened, and you’re not sure how to go about proceeding. I’m guessing...something that you can’t fix at all.” She gently sipped on her tea before turning her attention to Cloud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Am I correct?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pretty spot on,” Cloud muttered. He stared deeply into his mug, the tea bag seeping into the hot liquid like shadows. “She’s dying, Elmyra.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elmyra said nothing about this and nodded, letting Cloud continue. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t help her. She’s got a year at most, and I’m not sure if I can deal with this. I don’t know what the children will say, or imagine life without her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud bit his lip. He knew that Elmyra knew her fair share of losses. Her husband died in the Wutai War, and Aerith was murdered right in front of the man who was drinking tea in her house. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to just dump all of this onto you, Elmyra.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, Cloud.” Elmyra smiled softly. “Sometimes, you just need to let it out. Though, might I suggest something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t run away from the person who needs you the most, just because you fear that you’re not going to be able to help them,” she said gently. “This is when they’re going to need you the most.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud looked shamefully down at his hands, clenched around the mug. Elmyra gently placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. He sighed. “I’m afraid Elmyra.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“About what, Cloud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Letting myself be happy,” he said. “I was afraid that if I was happy, then something would try to take it all away from me. It has. It took away people I loved, and now...I’m losing the person who I love most. How can I move forward from that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elmyra was silent. She looked out the window where the rain was continuing to fall. “You know...I felt the same way as you when my husband died in the war. I always thought he’d be coming home after he sent a telegram, letting me know that he was coming home on leave.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had a far-off look, almost melancholic before turning her attention back to Cloud. “I waited every day at the train station. I saw other couples reuniting, and I thought, one day I’d have that same euphoric feeling of him returning home. I knew it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then Elmyra sighed. “When I found Aerith that day instead, I knew that fate must’ve needed this to happen in some form or another. A lesson in itself. I didn’t want to believe that my love died. I just thought perhaps his leave got delayed or denied and that he wasn’t able to let me know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But when I lost my husband, I never experienced that level of grief. It all just happened at once. But, soon, I was able to heal. It’s a type of pain that dulls over time, but you’ll never completely get over it. I find myself thinking about him and Aerith quite often.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elmyra smiled. “I love them both, and know that they’re in the Lifestream, waiting for that day when we can all go home together. Until then, I promised them that I’d be living out my life to the fullest until we that day. That’s the best way to honor their memories. I still believe that firmly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt even more ashamed about his behavior and sighed. “I just left Tifa...when she was telling me about her illness. I just…” He placed his face into his hands. The more he thought about it, the worse it seemed to be. He just bolted, not waiting to hear from Tifa. Not willing to face it together. He ultimately abandoned her again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud?” Elmyra said softly. “It’s never too late to make things right. You have a year. You have an entire year to make the most of every precious second you can to make things right and to make it so that Tifa knows exactly how it is that you feel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The more that Cloud thought about it, he knew that despite everything that happened to him within the last year, Tifa was willing to face Geostigma with him when he thought he was dying. Why couldn’t he do the same for her? It seemed almost hypocritical, and selfish of him to withhold himself from her because he knew ultimately that her fate was sealed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No. During times like these, he knew that he had to be brave and be there until the end for the person he cherished. Even if it meant facing the rest of his life and unknown future without her by his side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man nodded slowly. He stood up and handed the half-drunken mug of tea back to Elmyra. “Thank you. I have to take care of some things back home. I’ll come back and visit again sometime….and I’ll bring Tifa with me so you can see her too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No worries.” She then smiled. “I can see why Aerith loved you so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m a dumbass?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No...because you cherish everyone so much, and that you’ll do anything to protect them.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was several hours before Cloud returned to Seventh Heaven. Soaked to the bone after having ridden Fenrir nonstop through the rain, he sloshed through the bar with his boots squishing against the floors. He could hear the sounds of running water and the clattering of dishes in the back room </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked through the door and found that Tifa was washing the dishes, albeit a bit more roughly than she normally would be doing them. Though, the sight of her doing this now knowing her condition made Cloud sick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Washing the dishes? Like I always do?” Tifa responded stiffly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should you be doing that?” Cloud asked cluelessly. “I mean...with you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa sighed. She turned her attention to Cloud, her eyes looked hurt after their prior interaction. “Unlike you, I stick around when things get hard. I don’t run away.” Tifa continued scrubbing the dishes roughly, and she winced every now and then. Cloud reached out to her to make her stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you listen to me Cloud,” Tifa said, shutting off the water. She turned to face Cloud, though the man could clearly see that she was struggling to find the words to say. “I’m tired. I know that my time is coming sooner than I’d like. But, I can’t cry about it anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young woman stared down at her boots and sighed. “I need to be there for the kids until the end. Whether you accept it, this is what it is. I need to get things sorted. I need to make sure that you’re going to be OK. I can’t wait for you to figure it out. This isn’t about you. I need to keep going until I’m done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa fought back her tears. “I wanted nothing more than for us to be a family. To live out our lives together and to finally find some peace. But, this happened, and I need to figure it out. Whether you’re going to accept that things can’t be the way we wanted it to be, then this...whatever this is...we can’t. Not anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sniffled and then returned to washing the dishes.Cloud nodded apprehensively. Tifa’s words stung harshly, but he knew that was a rebuke of his tendency to run when things got difficult and to avoid the pain of losing someone close to him again. He had to face his fears, and that meant facing this demon with Tifa together until she’s ready to go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about before,” he muttered. Tifa stopped rinsing the plates. “Tifa, I’m scared about what life will be like without you in it. I know that’s no excuse for how I acted. But...know that I-I have never opened my heart to anyone else but you. Losing you...means losing my heart. I don’t know how I’ll be able to keep going if you’re not there anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt himself blush at his revelation to Tifa. Sure, they know the depths of each other’s feelings. He knew them fully well since they confessed the night before their final battle against Sephiroth and spent the night underneath the Highwind. They attempted so hard to return to “find their new normal” after the events of Meteor falling and destroying Midgar, and there was a period of happiness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That period of happiness of finding a family together with Tifa, and settling down in Edge. Running the businesses together. Finding the little moments and silly conversations that brought him and Tifa closer together. But Geostigma and the constant diving into the past, made Cloud question everything that was going well for him, in fear that it’d be taken away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, it was happening again now that Tifa was suffering from a terminal illness. Cloud wanted to run and never experience the pain of losing someone he loved again. He experienced that with his hometown, his mother, Zack and Aerith who was slain right before him and he couldn’t do a thing about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, that Tifa was on borrowed time...Cloud just didn’t know how Tifa was able to keep herself strong through any of it. He sometimes wondered...if perhaps he was the problem. He needed to be the strong one for Tifa and be there for her until the end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Listen to me, Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud looked up and found that Tifa was facing him. The water was turned off and she appeared tired, startling Cloud who felt as if he was just looking at her for the first time in a long time. Normally, Tifa looked healthy and strong. Yet, she appeared more delicate to him since revealing her diagnosis. Her eyes looked exhausted, but she was attempting to appear normal through small amounts of makeup she usually never donned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to be angry anymore,” she said. “I have no time to stay angry, nor do I have the time to really fight with you about your demons that’s keeping you from being there for me. If you want to be there for me until the end, then I’m gonna take it as a commitment. That you’ll be there when it counts. Not because I need you...but because I want you to be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked as if she was struggling with her next choice of words, but Tifa summoned the strength to let it out. “When you left me just now, it reminded me of when you left us when you got sick. You left the children, and you left me. We tried to keep it together, and we did...without you. I guess what I’m saying is, you’re allowed to leave when you want when it gets to be too much. But, if you leave again...please don’t come back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a smack to Cloud’s face, but he knew that Tifa had every right to feel this. She was patient and kind to him whenever he needed someone to pull him by the britches and to make him see the love that he thought he didn’t deserve being given to him unconditionally.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now that she placed this boundary, he knew that he needed to get a grip of himself and be present in the moment. It was all because Tifa was headed towards a finite timeline, and there’s no stopping it. He needed to take in those precious small moments and make it the best that he can. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“OK.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“OK, what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, Tifa. I need to stop running and face it. Everyone dies in the end, but we have to cherish the memories we have and make them count.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the first time that Cloud said the word “dies” but he knew that he couldn’t dance around the subject anymore. He needed to embrace it and acknowledge that this was the end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa gazed at him, her eyes flickering slightly. She then turned back to the sink to resume her tasks, though slower than she was doing before. “I’m glad you listened to Aerith at least,” she whispered. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Tangled Knots and Dirty Dishes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>News traveled relatively fast around Edge about Tifa’s impending death, and those who were regulars around the bar were concerned about the future of the business, though Cloud was quick to squash any rumors that they planned to sell the property at any point after a year later. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Members of Avalanche were dismayed upon hearing the news, but Cloud was quick to make it brief and to let them come to terms with the information on their own time. Though, Yuffie Kisaragi demanded to speak to Tifa, and the two were on the phone for hours it seemed. Tifa, mostly trying to reassure the young ninja that she'd be just fine and that not to worry about her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nanaki, formerly known as Red XIII, expressed his sympathies and that he'd also be visiting Edge sometime within the coming days to bring herbal medicines from Cosmo Canyon to at least mitigate some of the muscle pains that Tifa was experiencing. Cid and Shera Highwind both planned to drop in to help out with retrofitting the bar to make it wheelchair accessible. Vincent merely responded that he received the text message, however, the bar received a mysterious bouquet of flowers delivered at the door once they did receive his acknowledgement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Barret seemed gruff with Cloud, though it was probably because of his previous departures and reluctance to trust the former mercenary. However, the man with a gun for an arm was more concerned about Tifa and how she will manage in the pending months. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over a phone call, the man planned to stop into Edge after finishing his tours of the oil fields with the WRO and finding new technology to harness energy efficient methods that wouldn’t rely on depleting the Planet of its life energy. Though, he seemed more distraught and confused than anything else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How’s Tifa doing?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s doing OK, considering,” Cloud said slowly. “She hasn’t really been doing a lot that she used to, but that’s expected. I told her she needed to stop doing so much of the labor intensive stuff and just focus on admin for now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well shit, Cloud, what’s gonna happen to the bar?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know yet, Barret,” Cloud answered. “Probably will be running it until I can find someone to take ownership of it. But, that’s something that Tifa will have to decide for herself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How are the kids?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene and Denzel were made aware of Tifa’s condition, and though there were many tears shed and worries about how things might change in the future, they both were mature beyond their years and accepted that there were things they couldn’t change, no matter how well they behaved or how much they were willing to help out around the bar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Better than I expected, but I can’t really tell what they’re thinking right now,” Cloud said softly. There was a long pause on the other end of the line, though Cloud couldn’t really tell what Barret was thinking either. “Barret?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Marlene...Denzel...they experienced enough loss as is, and now they’re losing their mom,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Barret said quietly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Shit...kids deserve to have their parents...don’t they?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We know that, but that’s not how this is turning out,” Cloud replied flatly. “We just have to make the most of the situation and be ready when that time comes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know, I know...but Spiky, how about you and Tifa though? What’s gonna happen with the two of you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud avoided talking about his relationship with Tifa for the longest time, mostly letting others draw their own conclusions. However, the longer he thought about it and what could’ve been...it was a sore spot for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Cloud answered honestly. “I honestly don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well, you got some time to figure out where things are going to stand,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Barret answered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Knowing Tifa, it’d probably make her happy knowing finally what she meant to you after all this time. You’re not gonna get this chance again.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll remember that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud kept deliveries to a minimum during the past few weeks while spending time around Seventh Heaven. Following his renewed commitment to be around for Tifa and the children, things have been slowly falling into a rhythm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, it became clear to Cloud how much Tifa actually did around Seventh Heaven to keep things running smoothly. Including the minor things that he now realized he had to learn how to do, such as getting the kids ready for the day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One morning, Marlene asked Cloud to plait her hair and tie a pink ribbon around it. He admittedly felt foolish picking up a hairbrush and trying to brush through her light brown tresses and getting the snarls and knots out. Yet, it wasn’t going as smoothly as he had hoped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ow!” The little girl protested as Cloud attempted to comb through the knots. “Cloud! Not so hard!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Marlene.” The man sighed. “I never had to really comb through hair before, let alone braid it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you use a brush on your hair?” Marlene asked curiously, eyeing Cloud’s spikes that jutted in different directions. “It looks like a chocobo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I’ve been told,” the man replied gently. “Nope. I just use a lot of styling gel to keep them in place.” Cloud held onto a portion of Marlene’s hair and started combing through the tangled locks, though a bit more gently and focused than he had done before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you keep your hair like that?” The little girl asked. “It looks...uncomfortable to sleep on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, it’s not that bad,” Cloud said, continuing to brush through Marlene’s hair. “And, I style it like this since Tifa said it reminds her of the chocobo. I like it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The mentioning of Tifa’s name prompted Marlene to stay quiet. While Cloud silently brushed through the tangled hair, he remembered that he needed to be a lot more forthcoming with the children if they were feeling a certain way. At least, that’s what Tifa taught him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is everything, OK?” He asked quietly. Trying to remember what Tifa showed him earlier, he separated and divided Marlene’s hair into three strands and started weaving them together. Over and under. Over and under. Soon, he was developing a soothing rhythm and found that it was actually pretty peaceful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to miss Tifa,” Marlene whispered, her eyes watering. “She’s been like my mom and big sister all in one...it’s just hard to think what life around Seventh Heaven is going to be like without her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silently, Cloud listened. Though he wasn’t always good with words, no one could really say that he wasn’t a good listener. As he nearly finished Marlene’s plait, he paused for a moment, wondering what he could really say at this point about Tifa’s future. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll miss her too, Marlene.” He quickly tied the end of the plait in a pink band and then slowly tied a bow behind her head with the signature pink ribbon that resembled Aerith’s. “I don’t want to think about it, but I know that’s something that’s gonna be coming and we all have to be ready for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene looked up at Cloud with her brown eyes and sighed. “Cloud? Do you love Tifa?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, I mean...</span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud paused for a moment before deciding how to best answer Marlene. Surely, it wasn’t a secret to the children that he and Tifa had been living together for years and fought side-by-side in combat situations. Yet, when it came to expressing their feelings for each other, that had been sort of put on the back burner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s hard to describe,” Cloud answered truthfully. “I do love Tifa...but it’s hard to tell her that sometimes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even when you’ve been together all this time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even then.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daddy says that Tifa needs someone to take care of her since she takes care of all of us,” Marlene said sagely. “But, I told him that Tifa loves you most in the world, and that you take care of her when she asks for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud couldn’t help but feel slightly ashamed at this. Granted, he hadn’t been there enough for Tifa and yet she was still defending him to the likes of Barret and others from Avalanche who’d probably argue that he wasn’t fit enough to really be the person that Tifa paints him as. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She said that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tifa always says good things about you, Cloud,” Marlene said, rolling her eyes. “Even us kids can see that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see. Well...Marlene? How does it look?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene hopped down from the stool she was sitting on and examined closely in the mirror that was leaned up against the wall. She twirled around and nodded approvingly. “It looks good! You did really well, Cloud. Next time, don’t brush so hard, OK?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try to remember, Marlene.” Suddenly, the little girl hugged Cloud around the middle of his torso. He was caught off-guard for a moment before slowly returning her embrace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s gonna be OK, Cloud. We’re all here for each other...and when Tifa’s gone, the family’s still gonna stick together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt strange receiving words of wisdom from children, but Cloud knew that Denzel and Marlene were worried about their future as a family once the mother was gone. Where did that leave the father and his young kids? Who would be watching over them?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud knew that he had to reassure the children that he’d be around and that there were plenty of adults who cared for them and would make sure that they’d be taking care of them too. It was while washing dishes together that Denzel brought these concerns up with his hero. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re gonna be OK...right Cloud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes...we will be Denzel.” Cloud scrubbed the dishes while Denzel rinsed and dried them. The two were usually quiet around each other, though that was how their personalities normally were. However, the little boy seemed to be down lately, knowing that the woman who cared for him after losing both his parents was also going to be disappearing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will...you be OK?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was an innocent question, but Cloud was afraid to answer him. He didn’t know how he was going to react to Tifa’s death, and knowing what was ahead for their family unit. There were a lot of fears that Cloud had about the overall degradation of Tifa’s health and what that meant for them moving forward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa managed to keep the children believing that she was still strong and able to keep working, yet Cloud knows that she was struggling to keep the worst of the symptoms away from view. He once caught her struggling to continue her martial arts, and that was a form of therapy for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not being able to work as hard as she was able meant that she would have to give up the fight and eventually give up doing things she was able to do. Even the simple tasks of washing dishes or doing Marlene’s hair would become too strenuous on her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This type of helplessness was something that Cloud was familiar with and that was what terrified him the most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know Denzel,” he answered quietly. “I really don’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The little boy nodded. “It’s OK, Cloud. When I lost my mom and dad, I didn’t know either. But, then I had you and Tifa and Marlene. It was sad at first, but it turned out OK in the end. It’s just different. Different doesn’t mean bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a smart kid, you know that?” Cloud teased him gently. Denzel grinned. “Gotta give you more credit when credit’s due.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s true!” Denzel laughed. “It’s gonna be hard, but we’ll make it through together...right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud wanted to believe that. With all of his heart, he truly did.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Working Through A Mess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was hard to believe that a month passed since Tifa revealed her condition to Cloud. He often wondered what it would’ve been like if he had just stuck around Seventh Heaven when he had Geostigma. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Would they have had more time together? Would they have found something that would’ve prolonged the inevitable? These were questions that haunted him in his nightmares, but it didn’t erase the harsh reality that Tifa was deteriorating slowly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She never showed pain if she could help it. Whenever the children offered to take on additional house tasks, Tifa merely shook her head and tried to convince them that she was still at least able to do the bare minimum. Yet, it was hard trying to convince the bar owner otherwise that she shouldn’t be pressing herself any further than she had to at this point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two of them tried not to fight each other in front of the children and worked out their problems privately. Cloud grew frustrated with Tifa’s attempts at getting household chores done while she argued with him that she needed to keep herself busy. This case, it was Cloud trying to load the washing machines for Tifa and folding the clothes to be put away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to be useful, let me help,” Tifa almost pleaded in a childlike way that made it nearly impossible for him to refuse. “Let me do what needs to get done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Tifa,” Cloud said firmly. “You need to lay off the heavy work and just do what we tell you to do. No heavy lifting. Got it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud Strife, you’re not telling me what to do!” Tifa almost shouted, though it was clear that she knew she wouldn’t win in this case. Frustrated, she would walk out of the room in a huff. These days, her movements have grown slightly clumsy, knocking into things that normally wouldn’t have gotten in her way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sight of the once graceful and steady fighter slowly succumbing to her illness was something that pained Cloud immensely. However, he knew better not to argue with Tifa and make her more stressed out about it than usual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Cloud was loading the washing machines, he noticed a small folded piece of paper that was tucked into one of Tifa’s aprons. He gently pulled it out and looked around him to see if anyone was watching. Normally, he wouldn’t pry into anyone’s privacy when it came to things, but he was curious to see what Tifa was keeping from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He quietly unfolded the paper and found in Tifa’s writing, that before the disease progressed, was normally in her neat cursive. Now, it’s messy from badly shaking hands. Cloud sighed at the sight, knowing full well that Tifa was still hiding parts of her condition from him in attempts to spare him from the ongoing pain that she was going through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a list. A list of things that Tifa wanted to accomplish before she died. Things that she wanted most in the year she had left to do what she wanted:</span>
</p><p> </p><ul>
<li><span>Walking on the beaches of Costa Del Sol with sand between my toes</span></li>
<li><span>Taking Marlene and Denzel on one last trip to Gold Saucer</span></li>
<li><span>Have a romantic dinner for two</span></li>
<li><span>Spending time with Avalanche and having one last hurrah </span></li>
<li><span>Finding the recipe for the perfect cheesecake</span></li>
<li><span>Revisiting the water tower in Nibelheim with Cloud</span></li>
</ul><p> </p><p>
  <span>The more Cloud read, the more he felt his heart ache for Tifa. These were pretty simple wishes, and they were mostly doable. These things could be taken for granted by some, but not Tifa. She appreciated the little things in life, and though it seems almost difficult to accomplish them, he suddenly felt the urge to grab her and take her on this journey. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While scanning through the rest of the list, he found one that was crossed out, though he was able to read through the ink that was somewhat still visible underneath the scribbles:</span>
</p><p> </p><ul>
<li><span>Getting married in the Sector 5 Church</span></li>
</ul><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt air rush out of his lungs. He looked around him to see if Tifa was making her way back, but he chastised himself for intruding on her private desires and wishes. Quietly, Cloud snuck the piece of paper into his pocket before finishing up the loads of laundry before heading out into the bar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He decided it was best to postpone operations for Strife Delivery Service for a while until things got sorted out with Tifa and the children. Despite his longing for the long roads and traveling, he knew that was the least of his concerns as he began preparations for making Tifa’s remaining months as comfortable as possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as he was heading upstairs, the phone rang. The courier sighed and made a detour towards the office on the first floor. Picking up the landline, he answered it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seventh Heaven. How can I help you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Cloud?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Reeve?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, Cloud. Long time no talk. I usually expected Tifa to answer the mainline, but it’s a nice change of pace.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you need Reeve?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Listen, I heard about Tifa and I know things are pretty tough right now.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can say that,” Cloud said almost critically, but he refrained from showing any signs of anger towards any of his friends. This wasn’t their fault and they were dealing with the grief in their own way. “Go on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well, remember the doctor who treated you in Mideel all those years ago?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s kind of been exploring an experimental drug that looks to prolong the longevity of those who are struggling with motor neurone disease. He mentioned that this significantly increases the chances of being able to help patients cope and to live out a longer life.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud paused. He could hear the shower running upstairs, meaning Tifa was getting herself cleaned and ready for the day. “When do you want me to talk to her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How about we meet up first? I can fill you in on the details.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you want me to bring Tifa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I think...look, the drug is experimental, I don’t want to get Tifa’s hopes up just yet unless we get the details from the doctor himself. You can understand that, right?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure. When do you want to meet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“How about around four o’clock? Would that work? I can swing by the bar”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good. Thanks...Reeve.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud hung up the phone, feeling slightly hopeful for the first time in weeks. He knew that he wasn’t going to be too overly hopeful about the experimental drug, but it was the best shot they had in a long time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who was that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa had finished showering and appeared behind Cloud with wet hair and was drying herself off. “Anything important?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um, just Reeve,” Cloud said rather guiltily. “He wanted to chat about stuff.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“WRO stuff or just stuff?” Tifa asked rather suspiciously. She sighed. “Well, I’m gonna finish getting ready and head out for the morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are you gonna be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuffie wanted to go get some lunch and then just catch a movie,” Tifa answered. “She just wanted to spend some girl time together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. That’s nice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa nodded. “Well, I’m gonna head out. The bar’s closed, so there’s no need to worry about hanging around down here. You should try to enjoy yourself before you see Reeve, you usually get so uptight around him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna be fine getting where you need to go on your own?” Cloud asked worriedly. “Do you need a ride?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, Cloud,” Tifa said calmly. “Yuffie’s going to be picking me up. No need to worry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She merely smiled at him before slowly making her way back upstairs to get changed and to finish pulling herself together for her outing. “Sometimes, you just gotta let things be, Cloud.” </span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was about four when Cloud heard a slight knock on the front door of Seventh Heaven, he unlocked it and opened it to reveal Reeve Tuesti in his navy blue suit and black beard standing outside with an umbrella. “Hello Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reeve.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud stepped aside to let the former Shinra employee inside of the establishment. “Thanks for swinging by.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No problem, happy that I could be here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The courier took Reeve’s umbrella and placed it in the corner to dry. “Want some coffee or something hot?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Some tea would be nice, thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud deftly headed behind the counter and started boiling a kettle. He brought out some mugs to line them up on the bar top before getting some fixings for it. “Lard? Honey?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Honey and lemon, if you could,” Reeve answered politely.  He looked on in amusement.“Well, Cloud it seems you know your way around the bar.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kind of had to learn,” Cloud replied. He waited for the kettle to whistle while placing tea bags into the mugs. Then, he swiftly poured boiling water into the mugs and brought them over to Reeve. Cloud slid over some honey and sliced lemon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” The two men silently prepared their own tea and drank quietly against the sounds of pattering rain against the front windows. Cloud had no idea what Reeve was going to say, but he was desperate to find out more about the experimental drug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, Cloud, I’m sure you’re interested in learning more about the drug trial that Tifa may qualify for,” Reeve said while stirring himself a new cup of tea. “I’m thrilled to know that you’re open to the idea.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I’d do anything for Tifa,” Cloud said quietly while wrapping his hand around his mug. “So, can you tell me more about it, Reeve?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, for starters, it’s really expensive,” Reeve warned slowly. “It’s a couple grand for just getting Tifa tested to make sure she would even be considered a good candidate for the trial.” He started sipping his tea. “But, WRO is willing to cover those expenses since Tifa and you did so much to save the Planet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s...good.” Cloud was apprehensive, but what about the trial would be so bad that Reeve didn’t want Tifa to know about it yet? “But, why exactly are we still talking about this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well...Cloud,” Reeve sighed. “When I spoke with the doctor about the experimental drug trial, he mentioned that some of the things making up the treatment may be considered controversial. Something that has proven to eradicate the symptoms of the disease and strengthen the patient, and even proved to have brought them into remission.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reeve stared down into his mug. “Except, the doctor has been dabbling with the Lifestream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud dropped his spoon with a clatter against the table top. His mako-blue eyes started flickering dangerously. “What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The doctor has been taking samples from the rich unfiltered mako from the Lifestream that erupted from beneath Mideel and used it in his clinical trials,” Reeve said slowly. “Patients have shown to recover and increase their longevity in several different tests. As in, they’re recovering from the disease.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not interested.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud immediately stood up. “Reeve, you know how I feel about using Mako to strengthen or to alter the genetics of humans. I’ve been there, done that. It does no one any favors.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But Cloud…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know what I said,” Cloud shook his head. “As much as I would want Tifa to live out her life and be here completely scotch free from her disease, Mako is too much. I’m not gonna let anyone, let alone Tifa, be doused in some test tube somewhere to get cured and only to become a number and a test subject to some scientist.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud---”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! Reeve.” Cloud clenched his fists. “I’m glad you decided to bring it up with me, but the answer is no.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t Tifa be the one to make that decision?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa should also be in this conversation, but she’s not is she?” Cloud furrowed his eyebrows. “I know the WRO is doing whatever they can to rectify and clean up the mess Shinra made, but it’s just one easy slip up and we’re back to where we were before. People getting experimented on in the name of science, and innocent people suffer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud then glared at his reflection in the mirror hanging above the tables from across the room, his Mako blue eyes shimmering in that peculiar way that signified his involvement in SOLDIER, or at least, gave him the appearance of being one when he wasn’t. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know that you’re trying to help Reeve, but we can’t go through with the trial,” Cloud said, shaking his head. “I know that much. I know Tifa. She wouldn’t want to go through what I did. It’s just...not right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I understand...I’ll try to see if there’s anything else we can do, but that’s the best chance Tifa has,” Reeve said, nodding apprehensively. He slowly stood up and gathered his things. “I’ll be seeing you Cloud, but tell Tifa I said hello when you see her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will...thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once Reeve stepped out the door, Cloud slowly closed it and locked it again. He sighed before placing his hands into his pockets. He felt the edge of folded paper that he had placed there from before. A slight smile appeared on the corner of his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was getting around to be supper time by the time Tifa arrived from her outing with Yuffie. Her eyes were sparkling from having a good time and she was smiling like her usual cheerful self. When she came back to Seventh Heaven, she was immediately caught off guard by what she saw. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bar was dimly lit, but there was a solitary table in the center of the room with yellow flowers gathered in a single vase that adorned it. There, standing dressed up in a nice vest and dress shirt with matching pants and shoes was Cloud. The man couldn’t help but smirk at Tifa’s awestruck expression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Had a good time at the movies?” He asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-what is all of this?” Tifa breathed. The bartender looked around her, feeling overwhelmed by the sight. “Did...did you do something wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh? No! I just wanted to do this for you, Tifa.” Cloud nodded at her. “You look nice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa looked down at herself. She was wearing her outfit that she wore out with Yuffie: The blue mature dress that she wore during her escapades with Cloud and Aerith during their Avalanche days and infiltrating Don Corneo’s mansion in Wall Market. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well...I wanted to look nice for a change,” Tifa then smiled. “And I guess I made the right choice. This looks...so beautiful, Cloud. I don’t know what to say.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud pulled out a chair, to which Tifa bashfully walked over and sat down in it. He carefully scooted her closer to the table before taking a seat on the other side. It was so uncharacteristic of Cloud to do something on his own initiative like this, but Tifa clearly appreciated the effort. She seemed so flabbergasted that she couldn’t speak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are Denzel and Marlene?” Tifa asked, turning around. “Shouldn’t they be home?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Barret said he could take them for a little bit, he had something he wanted to take them to see Elmyra in Kalm.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa looked nervous for whatever reason. She flushed a bright red. “Um...so what’s on the menu?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud slowly rose from his seat and headed around the bar. He pulled out a bottle of Corel Wine and some glasses. “Well, the roast is roasting in the oven and some soup is just about done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-you cooked?” Tifa said. “Are you feeling alright, Cloud? Did you get someone to help you with the cooking? I know how you still have trouble with the vegetable names…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, Tifa.” Cloud walked over and expertly poured the glasses of wine, impressing Tifa. He then corked it and headed to the kitchen. When he returned, it was with two plates of beautifully glazed roasts and roasted vegetables with a truffle risotto.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa was in awe. “You seriously cooked this? Cloud...how?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s such a thing as the internet, Tifa,” he teased lightly. “I spent some time reading up and watching videos. I can actually follow directions.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t mean---”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know Tifa, it’s fine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two adults sat at the table, and silently partook in their dinner. Somehow, in the glow of the candlelight, Cloud couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Tifa looked. Her carmine eyes enchanted by everything that was happening around her. Yet, she appeared deep in thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gil for your thoughts?” Cloud asked quietly. He drank his wine slowly, letting the bitterness take hold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tifa sighed. “It’s...this...it’s a lot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! In fact, I am so happy that this was something you wanted to do,” Tifa answered honestly. She then appeared conflicted. “It’s just...oh Cloud…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud then thought for a minute. Suddenly something didn’t add up, Tifa wearing her mature dress...her seeming surprised at his gesture. “Hey...how come Yuffie didn’t come to say hello?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Um...she needed to go back to Wutai.” Tifa looked down at herself. Then she sighed. “Fine...I wasn’t out with Yuffie. I was on a date with someone else.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt silly. He then felt embarrassed that he just went through the effort. “Who’s the lucky guy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s one of our customers, he had tickets to see a martial arts fight,” Tifa answered slowly. “His name’s Grant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh...did he stop into the bar a few weeks back by chance?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He did actually...oh, did you meet him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I forgot to tell you that he was wanting to take you out,” Cloud mumbled. He felt so embarrassed, how could he not have seen this before. “Um...so are you guys a thing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa looked uncomfortable. “I’m not committed, if that’s what you’re asking. I have every right to go out with people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never said you couldn’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look upset.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Tifa…kinda?” Cloud was frustrated. Even after putting forth the effort, he still managed to make himself look like an idiot. “Why did you lie to me about going out with Yuffie?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh Cloud, you know how jealous you can get,” Tifa sighed. “I wasn’t looking to make you feel bad. Grant wanted to take me, and I said I would go with him once. It’s not like I said I would marry the guy. I just wanted to feel nice and go out on a date where I can feel appreciated...that’s all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt speechless. Tifa seemed to have caught onto his frustration that she then looked away. “I’m sorry, Cloud. I...I really appreciated you doing this for me. Really. It’s not because I don’t...I just needed to have some fun and Grant had those tickets, and I just thought…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No...no, you’re fine, Tifa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud...I have every right to see whoever I want,” Tifa said, crossing her arms. Her mood seemed more irritated. “You can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>blame </span>
  </em>
  <span>me for feeling this way or doing this. I never knew what we were and it never seemed to be going anywhere...I just got tired of waiting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing, Tifa...sure thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slowly stood up, feeling slightly defeated. “That’s on me. Sorry.” Cloud then sighed. “I guess I should’ve been more forward with you and actually tell you how I feel. You have every right to see whoever. I shouldn’t have assumed that you were waiting all this time. That’s….my bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s OK, Tifa. Really.” Cloud turned away, trying to hide his hurt expression. “You should get some rest. It’s been a really long day for the both of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was about to walk away when Tifa called out to him. “Hey Cloud! How was your day? Anything interesting?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud knew that Tifa was trying to smooth things over with him, but he felt himself not wanting to face her. He didn’t want to bring up his conversation with Reeve from earlier that day, and he certainly wasn’t in the mood to really say anything more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not as exciting as yours,” he said quietly. “Really, Tifa. It’s fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He started cleaning up and Tifa sighed. “Cloud...please don’t do this to me right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do what?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Making me feel bad for wanting to see other people and enjoying myself,” Tifa said, almost in tears. “Please...don’t do this to me right now. You can’t blame me for wanting to be with other folks who actually let me know how they feel about me. I...I got tired of just wondering and waiting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know Tifa, I never blamed you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re lying to me,” Tifa said softly. “I know when you’re lying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud then grew even more exasperated. “Tifa! I said it was FINE. If you want to be with other men, that’s your choice! I can go see other women if I want to. But the thing is, I didn’t and I don’t! The only person I want to be with is standing right in front of me and she’s...she’s…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He then clamped his mouth shut. Tifa looked stunned at this revelation, and she turned away, her hands close to her chest. “Cloud...I just can’t...I don’t...I’m sorry.” With tears streaming down her face, the bartender ran upstairs, leaving Cloud to clean up the mess. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Finger Memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Denzel and Marlene knew something was wrong when they came home the next morning. Tifa and Cloud were barely speaking to each other, and they could feel the tension in the air that could be cut through with a knife. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the children spoke to the adults, they merely addressed them and avoided looking at each other in the eye or when they did have to address each other, their words were so stiff and cold that even Marlene shivered whenever they spoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was after one particularly frosty morning that Tifa and Cloud avoided each other and stayed in their respective parts of Seventh Heaven. Tifa was upstairs in the bedroom and Cloud was downstairs in the garage, working on Fenrir. The children were left alone to deal with their own problems. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s up with them?” Marlene asked Denzel, who shrugged. Adults were strange sometimes, but usually Cloud and Tifa got along pretty well. They weren’t sure what to make of their sudden change. “Did...did we do something wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it’s us, Marlene,” Denzel reassured her. “I think...this is something to do with Tifa’s date with that guy a few nights ago?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene’s eyes widened. “I thought she was on a date with Cloud!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No...I kind of figured it out when I saw the flowers we picked for Tifa thrown out in the garbage,” Denzel muttered. “Also, I overheard Tifa talking to another guy on the phone back then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh no…” Marlene shook her head in disbelief. “Poor Cloud.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not feeling sorry for Cloud, as much as I feel bad for the both of them,” the boy said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How so?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa was waiting for Cloud to say how he loved her for the longest time, but he never made it official and never really clarified what he thought about their relationship,” Denzel shrugged. “She got tired of waiting, and she just wants to feel loved before she goes. Cloud hasn’t really done a good job in doing that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But...she knows he loves her right?” Marlene said softly. “Why else would Cloud still be around?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes, that’s just not enough Marlene,” Denzel answered. “But...I think we should help them out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think, we just need to get them to realize how much they mean to each other and to stop wasting so much time on fighting when they can be enjoying the time they have left together,” Denzel whispered. He could hear the distant sounds of Cloud tinkering away in the garage, albeit a bit harshly with the rustling of the tool box. Tifa was upstairs listening to the radio cranked up all the way. “C’mon, let’s get to work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene nodded and followed her adoptive brother out the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud wiped his brow with a clean rag before sighing. Fenrir was damaged, but it wasn’t anything too serious. Once he finishes replacing a broken spoke, then he’d feel better about being able to hit the roads again in the future. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stupid rock,” he mumbled. Cloud was out picking up groceries at the market while Tifa was home resting. Though they weren’t getting along these days, he was adamant about continuing to let her rest and to just continue letting go of some of her responsibilities. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though he thought about Reeve’s offer he made a while ago, Cloud couldn’t shake the feeling that it was unethical and completely contrary to what he believed. No matter how much he wanted Tifa to heal and to go back to living her life as fulfilled as possible, he wasn’t willing to let her get subjected to experimentation that would result in something potentially worse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was just about to finish sorting through his tool box when he heard someone clear their throat. Cloud turned around and found Denzel inside the workshop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hey Denzel,” Cloud said with a nod. “What’s up? Did you need help with your homework?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No...nothing like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel sat himself down at Cloud’s workbench, watching his hero tinker around with the spoke. Cloud was continuing to bend it back into shape when he sighed. “What is it Denzel? Is there something you need?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud...I wanna know, why are you and Tifa not getting along?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Clang</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Cloud felt himself slowly shrinking back into his shell. He didn’t intend for the children to see and get involved with his petty fight with Tifa, let alone during a time when it probably wasn’t the most ideal either. Slowly, the man rose from his spot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess you’ve noticed, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s kind of hard not to,” Denzel admitted, swinging his legs off the stool. “Marlene and I really just wanted us all to get along like a family. We don’t have a lot of time, and Tifa is probably just sad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know she is, Denzel,” Cloud said sadly. “I know. I’m sad too. It’s just...complicated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>her Cloud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do, Denzel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, if you can tell me and Marlene that you do, then why not just tell Tifa?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy had a point. Cloud shook his head. It was one thing to have others tell him about how he felt about Tifa, but to have children even point out the obvious seemed a bit much. He wanted nothing more to just spend some of his time with Tifa, but with this new development with the guy who took her out to the fighting match, he wasn’t sure if Tifa was even remotely interested in being with Cloud exclusively. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, what do you suggest Denzel?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just...come to the park with us tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The park?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Denzel said with a grin. “Marlene and I have something we want to show you and Tifa. I think you’ll both like it. Just promise you’ll come?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud looked down and sighed. “I don’t know Denzel...would Tifa even want to come? Especially if she knows that I’m going to be there?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trust me, Marlene and I know that Tifa wants you to be there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man looked down at his adopted son and couldn’t help but notice a glint of mischief gleaming in his eyes. Cloud grew suspicious at what he was trying to suggest, but he couldn’t help but try to indulge him a bit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. I’ll show up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great! Just...dress up a little OK? Marlene picked something out for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She went into my closet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah...and she thinks you need to update your color palette just a bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Denzel…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, but it’s true.” Denzel then waved goodbye to Cloud. “Remember, tonight at 6.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud shook his head as the boy left the workshop, wondering what the children could possibly be up to now. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was about six o’ clock, around the time when Denzel made Cloud promise that he’d arrive at the Edge Park. Children were running around with their families, some swinging on a swing set and others dancing together underneath globe lights strung across the green space. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud wore a nice light grey sweater with dark jeans with white sneakers. He felt uncomfortable and totally out of sync with what he normally would’ve preferred to wear. It wasn’t black and it wasn’t leather. It was...boring and safe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Denzel…” He groaned. Cloud looked around, waiting to see if the family would show up. Sure enough, right across the way, he spotted Denzel coming towards him along with Marlene who was tugging on Tifa’s arm gently. The woman looked slightly tired, teetering as she made her way across the space. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt concerned as she was trying to walk, but she seemed to walk slower than usual. Yet, she appeared to have dressed up for the outing. Tifa had her long hair plaited down her back in an elegant loose bohemian-style braid, a soft cream colored sweater that hung perfectly off her toned shoulders, and black skinny jeans that were ripped at the knees. She wore stylish brown ankle boots that clicked against the pavement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud! Over here!” Marlene waved to him with her free arm. Tifa locked eyes with Cloud, though she seemed apprehensive. Cloud knew that Tifa was putting on a face for the children, and that she’d never try to drag their issues out directly in front of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The family met in the middle. Denzel pointed out a space where there was a blue gingham picnic blanket spread out. They motioned for Cloud and Tifa to take a seat, which the two adults obliged silently. Marlene ducked behind the bushes near the space and returned with a small wicker basket. She handed it to Cloud and Tifa and smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Surprise!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh...Marlene. Denzel...what is this?” Tifa asked, bewildered. Marlene handed her the basket, and Tifa took them in her shaking hands. Cloud quickly took the load and shifted the responsibility over to him. “What’s going on?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We thought some quality time was good for all of us,” Denzel said. “We just thought maybe a dinner picnic and a movie would be great.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh...we haven’t done this in a long time,” Tifa said with a small smile. “I’m sure it’ll be a lot of fun! Right Cloud?” She looked over at the man who seemed stunned. However, he returned a small smile of his own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure...this seems...very thoughtful,” Cloud replied gently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, this is where we’ll leave you.” Denzel said cheerfully, causing Cloud and Tifa to look up in utter shock. “Marlene and I have our own things we need to do back home. We’ll see you two kids later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene winked and waved goodbye at the adults. Tifa and Cloud were about to argue, but the kids ran off leaving them to their own devices. Silently, the two adults looked at each other, at a loss for words. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well...we don’t want to let their hard work go to waste,” Cloud said. He looked through the picnic basket and found some caramel popcorn in a jar, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and some sliced fruit. There was even a bottle of sparkling apple juice with plastic wine glasses. “I see...they really went all out for this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm...do you think we got set up?” Tifa asked softly. She started giggling despite herself. “Oh Marlene and Denzel...those two.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to do Tifa?” Cloud asked, his eyes never leaving Tifa’s. “Do you feel up to it? Or do you want to go back to Seventh Heaven? Don’t want to push yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa seemed to process what he was saying and then shook her head. She smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think we can let this lovely basket sit out like this untouched, do you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud and Tifa slowly unpacked the basket, pouring themselves the sparkling cider in the glasses. They then started serving themselves the sandwiches and fruit. A movie started playing on the makeshift screen that was projecting a funny romantic comedy starring actresses and actors from Gold Saucer about a princess kidnapped by a rival knight in a foreign kingdom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well...here’s to…” Tifa began, though she seemed at a loss for words on what she should toast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The kids,” Cloud responded. “And...to our family.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our family.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They clinked their plastic glasses and drank the sweet bubbly juice that immediately tasted like childhood. After they finished their food, they then munched on the caramel corn while laughing at the antics that unfolded across the silver screen. It was beautifully normal. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud ate his handful of popcorn, and suddenly felt something else in the jar. He looked down and found Tifa’s fingers interlaced with his, accidentally touching each other. The two stared at each other, though it wasn’t awkward. Something felt familiar about their touch...something long forgotten and something that their hands remembered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flashes of the stars...the sweet smell of grass and the night sky above their bodies that night underneath the Highwind flickered through Cloud’s mind and he immediately started blushing a deep red. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time, and suddenly, it’s as if his fingers still maintained a memory that he buried so long ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa blushed red, but she didn’t immediately pull away from his hands. They stared at each other, not watching the movie. They were speaking, but not with words. Something in Tifa’s eyes resonated with Cloud and reawakened a feeling that was so powerful, he was scared of it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They didn’t even notice the movie ending and all the couples and families were slowly leaving the space. Soon, it was just the two of them sitting on the blanket, feeling nervous about what passed between the two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Should we...go home?” Cloud asked nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um...you know, it’s still a beautiful night,” Tifa said. “Wanna go for a walk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you handle a walk?” Cloud asked. “I don’t want you to push yourself harder than you should be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be alright. I can lean on you...right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud helped Tifa up and slowly wrapped his arm around her waist to provide additional support. The two began to walk a small distance, underneath the pale glow of the moon and the stars. </span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>It was a quiet walk, though Tifa and Cloud didn’t feel the animosity that was between them before and the frostiness immediately melted. They exchanged jokes and were laughing quietly amongst themselves. Yet, in the back of Cloud’s mind, he wanted to know for sure where Tifa’s headspace was at and where she saw them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew that he was at risk of ripping his heart out again, but for Tifa...he was willing to go through anything to just understand what she was feeling and thinking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they arrived at a bench, Cloud helped Tifa sit down so that she could rest. She seemed thankful for the break and breathed slowly. He sat down next to her and sat in the quiet. For what seemed like eternity passing between them, Tifa broke the silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud...I want to tell you something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, what is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about hurting you like that,” Tifa said, closing her red eyes. Cloud waited. “I just...there’s so much I want to say to you, and to share with you...but I’ve never really been good at that. Not even now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know...but Tifa, it’s alright. I get it,” Cloud shook his head. “You have every right to not have to wait around for me. Letting you be with others is what I need to be OK with. I kept you waiting long enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not it…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No...that was never the point,” Tifa smiled bitterly. “Just when I thought I could be with you, and imagine a future with you, something like this happens. I thought I could protect you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Protect me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, save you from having your heartbroken and maybe have you even hate me so that when I die...you wouldn’t be as hung up on that and be ready to move on with your life,” Tifa said remorsefully. She laughed at herself. “But, that backfired...I wanted nothing more to just be with you. To take in every precious moment...cherish every single second I get to be with you. I sort of realized that I hurt myself instead.”</span>
</p><p>Tifa even laughed. "I'm sorry, Cloud...we were both being...stupid."</p><p>
  <span>Cloud sat silently, nodding to himself. Even when they were fighting, Tifa was still wanting to protect Cloud, even if it was denying herself the pleasure and joy of being loved by someone who loved her just as much and just as fiercely. There certainly wasn’t another person like Tifa Lockhart. Not in a million lifetimes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa, I should be the one that’s sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How so?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I should’ve just told you that I wanted you,” Cloud said. He then looked up at the sky. The stars were so beautiful, shining in a dark velvet painting with the moon shining its ethereal glow. “That ever since I was young, that the only person I could never live without is you. You always were my motivation. My purpose.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Without you, I feel like I have no purpose and no reason,” Cloud admitted. “There were days, when I thought that this was all for nothing. But Tifa...I…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two gazed longingly into each other’s eyes. There was so much desire and passion built up between the two of them that they had long buried that was beginning to resurface. They knew that their time was limited, but they could create their own little forever right here and now. No amount of time could be taken away from the memories they choose to cherish and that will live on in their hearts for eternity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud started laughing, Tifa looked at him curiously. “Dammit...Tifa, I’m sorry. I’m just not ever good with words. I don’t think that’s something I’ll get better with. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be,” Tifa said softly. “You don’t need words. That never stopped us before.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Cloud felt a slight pressure on his lips and realized that the love of his life was kissing him. A long forgotten memory that was revived with the brushing of their lips. He returned the kiss with a question that Tifa eagerly answered with a definitive answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were soon caressing each other, each kiss growing hungrier and more passionate than the one that preceded it. Cloud slowly slipped Tifa’s sweater even further down her shoulders, nibbling her neck. Tifa softly moaned and sighed as he began kissing her clavicle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud reluctantly stopped himself, knowing that the two of them were still sitting in public and that passerbys could see them. Tifa looked up at him with shining eyes as Cloud held out a hand to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you love me?” Cloud asked quietly. “Do you trust me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never stopped,” Tifa whispered. With that, she grasped his outstretched hand and the two ran off into the night, laughing at a memory remembered. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Few Steps Forward</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was a beautiful time together that Cloud would never forget. Throughout the night, they made love over and over again under the full glow of the moonlight that poured through their bedroom window. They rolled around under their covers, kissing and giggling softly at their touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud’s fingers remembered Tifa’s body well, despite not having made love since the early months of them living together and rebuilding Seventh Heaven. He forgot how much he loved hearing Tifa’s cries of pleasure, and her gripping his back as he moved against her in sync. Their rhythms match the beating of their hearts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had forgotten how much Tifa tasted like apples and mint, how fiery her movements could be that matched the fire deep within his own soul. He never realized how hungry he was, and how much he was starving to show Tifa how much he loved her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When both reached euphoria, they laid next to each other. Their breathing was heavy, their bodies slicked with sweat and the air smelled of the sweet perfume of their lovemaking. Cloud felt Tifa lay herself against his chest, knowing that she was feeling his heart beating fast because of how she made him feel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you doing OK?” Tifa asked quietly. “You haven’t said a word.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’ll be OK,” he answered. “Just give me a second.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud slowly caressed Tifa’s face, giving into his desire. He kissed her again, although even more gently than he did before. It was everything that he remembered and then some. Tifa looked up with brightened eyes, and her cheeks had a rosy tint that lingered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mm...give me some breaks in between,” Tifa laughed quietly. She then returned his kiss. “You’re still just as good as I remembered...maybe even a little bit better. It was a good effort.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pretty good? That was a solid A+ work right there,” Cloud argued jokingly. Tifa blushed and smiled. “Seriously though...are you OK?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, I will be.” Tifa laced her fingers through Cloud’s hands. “I wanted this...I missed being close to you. I missed everything about this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I did too.” Cloud said, shifting himself so that Tifa could get more comfortable. “Lucky the kids are heavy sleepers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know...I thought for sure they were going to wake up,” she said, blushing a fierce red. “I don’t want to have to explain all of this to them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think they knew what they were doing,” Cloud said. “Pretty smart, both of them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The couple laughed quietly together and ended up falling asleep in each other’s arms. The sounds of their breathing lulling each other into their dreams and peace overtook them. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Cloud and Tifa walked downstairs, their hands were laced intricately through each other’s fingers. The children were casually eating their cereal as they watched in amusement as their guardians were smiling at each other, despite themselves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” Marlene said with a giggle. Denzel elbowed her, causing some of the milk to slosh out of her bowl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning,” the adults nodded. Cloud merely headed around the bar and poured some coffee for himself and Tifa while she sat down next to Denzel and Marlene. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys OK? You look...happy,” Denzel asked tactfully. Cloud nodded his head and handed Tifa a mug. “Like...did the movies go that well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yep,” Cloud said. He cast a look at Tifa, who immediately busied herself in her coffee. “It was...eye-opening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm,” Tifa said. “It was...entertaining.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You guys aren’t fighting at least,” Denzel said, sighing. “Are you guys...official now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud exchanged a look with Tifa who started blushing. “Well, what do you think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, just say yes or no!” Denzel said, throwing his hands up in the air. “Stop being so passive about it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene started laughing, causing Cloud and Tifa to look at each other. “Well,” Tifa began. “I would say...yes we are officially official. If that makes everyone happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter if we’re happy, are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy?” Marlene asked, her eyebrows raising. The look she gave was so impressively adult-like that Cloud and Tifa couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes...we are.” Cloud kissed Tifa gently on the forehead, causing Denzel to gag in disgust, though Marlene looked on with starry eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuck! Gross!” Denzel said, ducking behind his hands. “As long as you don’t make out at the table or something, then congrats. Seriously.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We won’t Denzel, I promise the PDA is gonna be pretty limited,” Tifa said. She nodded slowly. “Well, you two better finish up with breakfast and start heading out to school. It’s getting late.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that the children finished eating the last few dregs of their cereal and headed upstairs to grab their backpacks. Cloud rubbed her back gently as Tifa drank her second cup of coffee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?” He asked quietly. “Any worse?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really...just the same old muscle cramps,” she said, smiling. “I’ll be alright. Maybe...we can do something this weekend once the business is done for the week.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh? And what would you want to do?” Cloud asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Tifa blushed and turned away. “Oh stop it Tifa, you know that’s not the </span>
  <em>
    <span>only </span>
  </em>
  <span>thing we would do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean...something like getting away just the two of us,” Tifa said with a smile. “I don’t know...maybe just a weekend trip somewhere.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll think of something,” Cloud said with a smile. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of the plans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Such a change in you, Mr. Strife,” Tifa said. “I like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well...c’est la vie, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel and Marlene ran back downstairs and gave their guardians a hug and kiss before heading out the door to catch the bus. Tifa waved at them, though grimacing slightly. Cloud noticed this and gently held her hand. “Do you need some more medication?” He asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll take some later,” she answered. “Right now, I just want to get done with all the book keeping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, well let me know if you need a break,” Cloud said grinning. Tifa swatted him with one of her gloves before heading into the office to work. “I mean it though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, sure,” Tifa said with a mischievous look. “But, no monkey business.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The happiness that Cloud and Tifa experienced didn’t wane at all. Rather than experiencing the honeymoon period that many new couples have early on in the relationship, the two were familiar with each other and everything remained pretty much the same. Though, they were definitely more physical with each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They now could say for sure that they were dating and that they were indeed a couple. Avalanche members would discover this new development in a few ways, though Barret was a bit stunned after stumbling across the two making out in the inventory closet during one of their lunch breaks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y’all better just go to your rooms if you’re gonna be macking on each other,” the man with the gun for an arm said in the most awkward tone. “Geez.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite their rekindled relationship, Cloud and Tifa weren’t blind to the fact that their time would be limited. Some even questioned why they would pursue something, when it would inevitably end in a few months. However, Cloud and Tifa didn’t want to think about the what ifs and wanted to focus on the now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their beautiful, imperfect, messy present was a moment where they could remember something so beautiful and untouched that they wanted to just to capture these memories. So, that’s why Cloud surprised Tifa with another item from her list, a weekend at Costa Del Sol where they would walk on the beach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh...Cloud!” Tifa said excitedly once he revealed the surprise over supper one night. The children were beaming happily at their guardians who hugged each other tightly. “Yes! But...what about the kids?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Daddy said he was gonna take us to Gold Saucer!” Marlene said brightly with Denzel. Tifa smiled at this. “He said not to worry about a thing and to just enjoy yourself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s nice of your dad,” Tifa beamed. “I can’t believe we’re going to Costa Del Sol...it’s been such a long time since we’ve been there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Barret did mention something about horseback riding,” Denzel said with a frown. The adults exchanged confused expressions: Horseback riding?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What exactly did he say?” Cloud asked curiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something that Tifa shouldn’t be saddling up on an old horse, or something like that,” he said, scratching his head. Cloud choked on his water, causing Tifa to slap him in the back. “What? Did I say something wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh...no you didn’t,” Tifa said, embarrassed. Cloud felt himself shake in annoyance. “But, it’s an old saying and I don’t think it’s really relevant to what we’re gonna be doing in Costa Del Sol anyway.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What does it mean?” Denzel asked. “I don’t get it...I thought there weren’t any horses at Costa Del Sol.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There isn’t,” Cloud answered flatly. “Just ignore Barret, OK?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa couldn’t help but giggle. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the weekend came around, Cloud and Tifa packed their bags and bid the children goodbye as they headed out to Costa Del Sol. Cid Highwind was gracious enough to give them a quick lift via the Shera, and zoomed across the ocean and landed on the helipad, though it was a rough landing given the small clearance space. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now don’t get too frisky now, ya hear?” Cid said, waving down to Cloud and Tifa. The two exchanged pleasantries and then made their way to the villa that was purchased during their old adventures. Cloud slowly opened the front door of the house, and found that it had been cleaned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a bottle of champagne chilling in an ice bucket, with a bouquet of tropical flowers sitting in a vase filled with water. Tifa looked on in amazement as she breathed in the fragrant blooms, closing her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe we’re here,” she said with a smile. “It’s been a long time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Cloud said, opening a window. The smell of sea salt and the warmth of the breeze floated into their room, reawakening their senses. It felt so peaceful and almost as if time stopped. There was nothing more than just wanting to enjoy the few days they had just being here together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to do first?” Cloud asked Tifa. “Do you want to rest a bit? Or, eat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know...I really would like to walk on the shoreline, if you don’t mind?” Tifa asked hopefully. Her eyes were shining excitedly. “I just love the beach.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“OK,” Cloud agreed. “Let’s get going.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t help but notice that Tifa seemed to be growing slightly weaker with each passing day. Though, she always managed to maintain a glowing smile on her face. Cloud shook his thoughts as he carefully wrapped a protective arm around her and walked with her down the stone steps towards the beach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took a little longer because of Tifa’s condition, but when they arrived on the sandy shore, Tifa immediately seemed like she was rejuvenated by the sights and sounds of the crashing waves and the sun sinking into the horizon. The sea breeze was enticing to smell and the sand squished between their toes as they slowly walked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa struggled a little bit, even more so because of the shifty surface. While she tried to move, she teetered. But, Cloud provided the additional support and helped her walk across the tide pools and gathered small seashells whenever they found some dotting the sand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are we gonna do with those?” Cloud asked curiously. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to put them all in a bottle at home,” Tifa answered. “That way, I’ll always have this memory with me and to look at when I get tired of looking at the city.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud smiled at this, taking in the sights of the rolling waves. “It’s really nice out here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know...you’ve been smiling so much more than you used to,” Tifa said happily. “I love seeing it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well...I have so many reasons to,” Cloud answered sheepishly. “You tend to bring that out of me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then Tifa looked saddened and looked out past the horizon. “Will you...still come here even after a year?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try,” Cloud said quietly. “I’ll bring the kids.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa smiled at him. “I know I’m not supposed to be sad on this trip. I wanted to avoid that and be happy enjoying it all with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never said you couldn’t be, Tifa,” Cloud said. “In fact, I just want you to be honest with yourself and me. Just...feel whatever you want to feel, OK?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Tifa said nodding. Then tears started rolling down her cheeks. “I just feel...everything right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without words, Cloud wrapped his arms around Tifa protectively as she silently cried into his shirt. The two just took in the warmth of the sunset together before they would be blanketed under the stars and surrounded by the soothing sounds of the gentle waves breaking against the surf. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Few Steps Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A weekend where there were no worries was something that Cloud and Tifa desperately craved and needed. Spending it together at Costa Del Sol and soaking in the radiant sun and dipping their feet into the ocean while enjoying the local fares gave them so much happiness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After returning home to Seventh Heaven, the couple were still glowing from their time spent together. They felt even more cohesive than before, strengthening their bond and their ability to let things go and to just focus on what made them happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud learned how to cook from Tifa, though the latter gently corrected him on his cutting technique and what dishes were simple enough to make for the children and himself whenever needed. He also became more adept at sewing up patches on old clothes so they might see additional life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No matter how big or small the task, Cloud was the happiest he had been in some time. All because it meant spending time with Tifa and learning things from her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Cloud,” Tifa said one day while helping show Cloud how to mince garlic. “One of these days, you’ll be even better than me.” These days, Tifa lost the strength in her hands to grip things tightly, and the pain medication only dulled the cramping pain in her muscles. Her walking has slowly been affected, causing her to stumble every now and then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Aside from that, she still continued to smile. She always smiled and she always tried to put a brave front on for Cloud and the children, though he knew deep down she was struggling painfully against the onset of the disease. However, he tried to act as if he didn’t notice to maintain dignity for his partner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doubt it,” Cloud said while sauteing some meat on the skillet. “But, as long as we won’t starve and don’t rely on take-out as much, then I’m all for it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give yourself some more credit,” Tifa said. “It takes a lot to learn what you missed out in five years’ worth of information and life. You’re doing well. Maybe I’ll have you do to-go orders for the customers.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t push it,” he said nervously, causing Tifa to chuckle. Cloud nodded before returning to his cooking. It’s true. When he started his new life with Tifa all those years ago, he barely knew any vegetable names. That was his foray into the new normal. Also, running a business alongside Tifa and being a courier for folks in connecting them to each other after Meteor almost wiped humanity completely. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seriously though, it’s all about building connections and learning when to ask for help,” Tifa said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s about knowing who to go to and how to ask,” he answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You remembered.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I have a patient teacher,” Cloud teased, prompting Tifa to blush. “I vaguely remember her teaching me lessons from the ground floor. Haven’t forgotten them either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be sure to pass the compliments along to her,” she said sweetly. “I’m sure it’ll make her day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah...please do,” Cloud said quietly. A comfortable silence fell between the both of them as they continued to make the most of their time together. Through the sizzling of the meat and the chopping on the cutting board, there wasn’t really much else to say about their shortened time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t hard to notice that the disease was getting even more aggressive. Yet, the medication only mitigated some of the effects. Cloud could see from the corner of his eye Tifa wincing every now and then and trying to massage her sore joints. He pursed his lips as he remembered Reeve’s offer about the clinical trial, and how Cloud himself rejected that opportunity for Tifa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt guilty, knowing that choice should’ve been left up to Tifa, but he knew intimately the dangers of Mako and having that flow through her would result in a guiltier conscience for himself. There was no way, no matter how bad things got, that Tifa would be subjected to that type of torturous result. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Something on your mind, Cloud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just...wishing that there was a way to have you around longer,” he muttered. Cloud plated several dishes and called out to the kids upstairs to come downstairs and eat. “Marlene! Denzel! Wash your hands.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa seemed deep in thought and after a while, she smiled again. Cloud was perplexed. “What’s up?” The look she gave him was one of pride mingled with sadness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m really proud of you...you know that right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Being the hero I always knew you could be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the middle of the night, when a large crash and thud against the floorboards that jolted Cloud awake and to run to the source of the noise, and to his dismay, he found Tifa sprawled out on the floor, struggling to pull herself up. She sobbed as he gently kneeled next to her and held her in his embrace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa…what happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine...let me do this.” Tifa struggled to pull herself up against the wall. She rose slowly and tried to take a few steps, but immediately crumpled to the floor. It was a few minutes of her trying, but each effort failed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me help you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Cloud...I need to do this myself,” Tifa gritted her teeth and tried to grab hold of something to help her take a few steps. It almost appeared as if she was able to walk, she immediately gasped in pain and fell down yet again. “Shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa, we need to get you to the hospital,” Cloud told her gently. “Let’s get going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cloud...just wait until morning.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Tifa---”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t get up!” Tifa shouted frustrated at herself. “I can’t get myself water. I can’t do anything anymore.” She cried into Cloud’s shirt as he gently rubbed her back to soothe her. “Cloud... I can’t!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shh...I know.” Cloud held Tifa close to him, trying to calm her. He wanted to tell her more than anything that she was going to be OK and that they’d get through this. But, he knew that was a lie. She was getting progressively worse. Her muscles weren’t strong enough to support her anymore, and soon, Tifa would need a wheelchair to move herself around. They’d need to install a ramp for Tifa to be able to go upstairs when needed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luckily, Cid and Shera were planning to arrive by morning to finish retrofitting the ramp and make other modifications to the building for Tifa. Cloud couldn’t help but silently clench his fists tightly. The one thing Tifa hated was to be made  helpless and become dependent on others. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry!” Tifa gasped, her eyes closed in frustration. “I’m so sorry, Cloud.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize, this isn’t your fault,” he said rather firmly. “This wasn’t any of your fault. So don’t you go blaming yourself, Tifa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knelt down close to his partner and wiped her tears with his fingers. The bartender cried into his chest, clinging onto his shirt tightly as if she was afraid to let go. For a long time, the two held each other on the floor in the middle of the hallway. Cloud could hear the children moving in their rooms, but they never opened the door. Either they were too afraid to see what was happening, or they wanted to respect the adults’ privacy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m the one who’s leaving,” Tifa said quietly. “I’m leaving the family, and it’s because of reasons that I have no say in or being able to change.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll always be a part of the family, Tifa.” Cloud shook his blonde hair out of his eyes. He wanted more than anything to stop talking about the eventual future that would soon take hold of the household. He’d be alone to care for Marlene and Denzel. There were so many unknowns that even the president of Strife Delivery Service found to be too much to handle. “Don’t think about that right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa sighed. “I’m just tired...can we please just go tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cloud hesitated, even almost willing to argue with her, but from the desperate look in her eyes, he relented. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to the hospital first thing though,” Cloud warned her. “No excuses.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa struggled to rise, and so without waiting for her to object, Cloud gently scooped her up bridal style and carried her back to their bedroom. She silently allowed him to tuck her in and without thinking too much about it, he gently pressed his lips against her forehead, causing Tifa to blush. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You haven’t done that in a long time…” Tifa said, her eyes fluttering from exhaustion. “I forgot what that was like.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud knew that Tifa wasn’t trying to make him feel bad, but he couldn’t help but feel himself cringe. Before he left Seventh Heaven he would share a bed with Tifa and throughout the night, he’d plant kisses on her forehead. But as his depression and isolation grabbed hold of him, his kisses stopped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa never complained about it. She never once made him feel bad about him stopping. But, he knew that she was hurting from him leaving and that this was just one of many little scars he inflicted on her and they ran deep. Even when she was deteriorating in front of him, she never once tried to place blame on him since they talked things through and went further in their relationship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, time to get back in the habit,” Cloud said teasingly, though it was half-hearted. He wished more than anything that Tifa would be around in the future to receive more of those kisses. That she’d be around to hold close to his chest during the middle of the night. Those little silly conversations that resulted in laughter. He would miss it all, and those were things he took for granted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gil for your thoughts?” Tifa’s eyes fluttered open again, and through a sleepy gaze, she kept watching Cloud. He could never understand how one could be so beautiful despite facing an uncertain future where things were going to end. She never gave the appearance that she was afraid, but he wanted to know where she was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you...scared?” Cloud asked quietly. </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little,” Tifa admitted. She reached over and placed her hand on top of Cloud’s. He felt the slight pressure and gently grasped it, noting how fragile it seemed to have gotten as of late. These hands belonged to a fighter, and yet...they were slowly becoming more and more delicate and unfamiliar to him. “But, I’m not so afraid to think that you guys will be up a creek either. You’ll be fine. The kids will be OK too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, Tifa…” Cloud said, but his voice shook slightly. This inflection prompted Tifa to look at him concerned. “Sometimes...I think you’re the stronger one between the both of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He attempted to smile one of his rare smiles, but Cloud felt himself breaking. But, he wouldn’t let Tifa see him cry like this. Especially when she’s the one that would be facing the unknown all alone. He couldn’t bear to imagine what that would feel like, and the immensity of entering into nothingness. It was overwhelming and suffocating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Cloud felt a gentle touch on his face. He looked down and found that Tifa was caressing his cheek so gently unlike a butterfly kiss. He then held her hand there as she smiled.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t sell yourself short,” Tifa said quietly. She then laughed softly. “You got to be better than this if you're going to play the hero."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then Tifa drifted to sleep, leaving Cloud wide awake. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Not The Way It Was</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>"Her condition is getting worse.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Have you started making arrangements? Did you get your affairs in order?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Soon, she’ll be unable to chew or swallow. She’ll need extra assistance.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Make her as comfortable as you can. We will discuss options within the next few appointments, but please...do take care of yourselves.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was nothing more exhausting and defeating than hearing that the person you loved was succumbing to a terminal illness that would eventually take them further and further away from you. No matter how far you reach, they’d be pulled in a completely different direction and they’ll be on their own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After that appointment with the clinic, Cloud and Tifa were afraid to talk about the progression of that illness. They were afraid of addressing it, because it would mean the end of the period of happiness that most couples got to experience before settling down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were not settled. They were completely the opposite. They’ve been calling bankers and estate lawyers to discuss drafting a will for Tifa, and who would be sole proprietor of the business. Who’d be watching over Marlene and Denzel as their guardian (though Barret claimed her legally) and what that would mean for all of her possessions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa tried to keep things light, but Cloud saw through her facade as someone who was trying to keep her head above water. She looked so different sitting in a wheelchair as opposed to walking around and dancing about in the bar space with the children when she was happy, or doing minor things like brushing her own hair or Marlene’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So when Cid and Shera came to visit and to renovate the building so that it was accessible, Tifa tried to greet them as positively as possible. But, their arrival meant that it was another sad milestone in the disease’s progression. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cid was busy fixing the staircase to make it possible for a wheelchair to be rolled up onto a ramp, while Shera assisted with the bar. Though she wasn’t usually a patron for alcohol, she was a quick study and managed to whip up some of the house specialties with some assistance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The children were gathered around Shera, trying to help her understand how to run out the orders with some success and progress to boot. Cloud smiled when the children waved over at him, and returned a nod in their direction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, how’s your woman?” Cid asked Cloud quietly. “She’s been awfully tight-lipped since we got here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud looked over at Tifa who was sitting in her wheelchair near the large windows at the front of Seventh Heaven. She smiled whenever someone addressed her or asked her how she was doing. Yet, he knew better. The smile he knew was gone. Tifa wasn’t the same anymore, let alone being able to process what was happening to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She has some good days and bad days,” Cloud answered truthfully. Though, he felt reluctant to really go any deeper than what he just said. “I just…I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cid wasn’t really the one to get emotional over anything, let alone hand out love advice, but he seemed genuinely concerned that the young couple was hitting one of the lows in their relationship that just got off the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love ain’t meant to be easy, kid,” the pilot said. He slowly started drilling screws into the ramp to hold it securely in place before turning his attention back on Cloud. “You know, I always thought Tifa wore the pants in your relationship.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Har har.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, now I’ve seen what you’ve been doing for her and I take back what I said,” he admitted. “No one can say that you don’t love her or that you don’t care. Honestly, Barret and I had our doubts, but you sure came a long way from where you were before. Ain’t no man gonna blame you for trying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud sighed. He leaned up against the wall, watching Marlene and Denzel helping serve guests. But it seemed so out of place to see Tifa sitting and not really being a part of the usual hustle that would occur during the lunch rush. It broke his heart to see the woman he loved wasting away and not being able to take control of her fate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reeve told me about some clinical trial that could prolong her life,” Cloud said quietly. Cid looked up at him. “But, I said no to it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dammit, kid. Why the hell not?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It involved testing Tifa with Mako,” Cloud replied coldly. “I’ve been there and done that and there’s no way in hell that I’d let her go through with it. I still feel the effects of it. Why would I want to subject her to it and not guarantee 100 percent that she’d live but still live a half-life?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cid silently put his tools away and wiped his hands on his trousers. “Well, does Tifa know about the trial?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud shook his head. “No.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You plan on telling her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t see the point,” Cloud answered lamely. “It’s her choice, I know, but knowing Tifa I know that she’d never want to get entangled with anything Shinra-related, even if it’s WRO. It’s just a different name and a different face, but the same old shit. I told Reeve, thanks but no thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cid nodded. “Well, if you think you know what’s best for your woman, then hell, stand by your convictions. But...just at least tell her that there was something available to her. At least give her a chance to explore it herself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s your partner,” Cid answered simply. “When you get yourself a gal like Tifa, you’d do anything for her. Hell, take a look at Shera. I was a pain in the ass to her, and yet, she still looked out for me. I could’ve died on the rocket. She was right about that oxygen tank, and she still came around to save me. That’s love. Even when you think you know everything, a woman shows up to remind you that you don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud took this in and nodded. “I guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, at least let Tifa make that choice if she wants to try that trial or not,” Cid answered. “I’d be pretty pissed myself if there were ways to improve my chances and no one told me about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cid stood up. “This is done. Hey Tifa!” The pilot waved over to her. “C’mon and try this thing out. Wanna see if it’s to your liking.”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later that night, Cloud was so absorbed in his thoughts and felt nervous about talking to Tifa about his knowledge of a clinical trial that could vastly improve her life, but it’d also mean serious side-effects and implications of the after effects of potential mako poisoning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, he knew Cid had a point and that the decision should be left up to Tifa. No matter how much he wanted to protect her and to preserve her quality of life, this was something that could potentially allow her to live longer. He had no right to keep this from her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa seemed to catch on that Cloud was thinking about something, which prompted her to ask him if something was the matter. He motioned to her to carry on their conversation upstairs in their bedroom. She allowed Cloud to wheel her upstairs and when they were in their room, he silently closed the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This must be pretty serious,” Tifa said. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t been completely honest with you,” Cloud said, prompting the woman to raise an eyebrow. “I’ve been keeping something from you, and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, what is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A while back, remember how Reeve came to talk to me?” Cloud asked. Tifa nodded. “Well, he came to talk to me about a WRO clinical trial that could potentially extend your longevity with motor neurone disease and potentially put you in remission.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He paused. Tifa didn’t react one way or another. She merely nodded for him to continue. “The issue was...it meant treating you with Mako. Similar in the way that SOLDIER members were experimented on, and I just...couldn’t put you through that. No matter how much I wanted you around.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a heavy silence and Cloud wasn’t sure how Tifa would react, but he only hoped that she’d understand why he would keep a potential game changer away from her. When he didn’t hear her speak for a while, he then looked at the woman sitting in a wheelchair, and found with surprise that she seemed calm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa? Can you say something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is there to say?” Tifa shrugged. “As much as I get what Reeve was hoping to do, there’s no way I’d be willing to go through what you did when you tried to become SOLDIER. It sounds like a shitty way to live.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Cloud mumbled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean it Cloud,” Tifa said quietly. “Believe me, I thought about it. What it would mean to find something that could prolong my life and keep me around the family. I at first thought I’d do anything to fight and find a way to prolong the inevitable. But...to allow Shinra’s old ways to touch me in a way that could alter my life...it’s too much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She then raised her trembling hands. “I know that I’m in a lot of pain right now, and it’s a tempting offer, but I want to enjoy what life I have left with those I love, and that means being completely there. I’m not allowing Shinra or WRO to claim victory on what would leave me to deal with the side-effects. I’d be worse off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So...you’re not mad that I didn’t tell you? I guess...how do you feel?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa looked down at herself before returning her attention to Cloud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m a little disappointed, but to be honest, I know that you’re only trying to do what’s best for me,” she said with a slight smile. “It might not seem much, but I trust your judgment more than anyone else. For you to give up something to keep me around because you thought it’d be something that would ultimately curse my life...you saved me, Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t say anything to this, wondering if perhaps she was kidding. But Tifa’s intense gaze meant that she was serious about what she had said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa slowly moved herself over to the side with some difficulty, and Cloud tried to assist her. She merely shook her head and sighed. “As much as I know how easy it is to grab onto false hope, I’d rather just live out my days comfortably…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She then looked uncomfortable, causing Cloud to jump at the ready. However, Tifa reached over and held his hand, though her hands were frail and there was barely any grip in them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, I did want to talk to you about something else. Now that we’re discussing this.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eventually, I’m going to get to the point where I won’t be able to breathe. I’m going to be a shell of the person I used to be. I won’t be able to swallow, I’ll just be living in pain and I won’t be able to talk.” Tifa looked serious. “When the time comes when you’ll be making the decision for me, I need you to know that I don’t want you to save me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You heard me. I don’t want to live that way,” Tifa appeared so sure of herself, that Cloud knew that she made up her mind and that there was no changing it. “When I’m so far gone...I need you to make that choice to let me go. Say your goodbyes and end it for me. Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You show good judgment, and you made me a promise that whenever I’m trapped or in trouble that you’d come and save me.” Tifa referenced their childhood promise, although Cloud never thought it’d end up this way. “I’ve made my peace with this. I need you to know that so that you know when the time comes to let me go. If you love me, you’ll let me go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa---.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon, promise me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a brief moment, Cloud imagined he was talking to the girl next door. Her in her blue dress, swinging her legs off the wooden platform of the water tower in the center of Nibelheim. Her idealistic and dreamy expression that held so much hope and excitement at the prospect of having her knight in shining armor moment. That the blonde neighbor would be coming back a hero. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though Tifa grew up to be someone who didn’t need anyone to rescue her, and she saved Cloud numerous times to count, now, she’ll need her hero to rescue her from being trapped within a body that was failing her. She needed him to set her free. It was a request that seemed to bring things full circle, but it was something that the ex-mercenary never wanted to think about. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, here they were, talking about Tifa passing away peacefully and put out of her misery. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud stared deeply into Tifa’s eyes and slowly, but reluctantly, nodded in agreement. “I promise.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. From the Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Another month passed and Tifa’s condition worsened. She was struggling to lift her arms and relied on others to move her wheelchair for her as she would often overly exhaust herself to do it. Yet, she still tried to keep things light by making jokes and by teasing the children and chasing them with Cloud pushing her wheelchair as they zoomed around the bar. They tried to make the most of the situation, and for every time Tifa started sinking into sadness, he’d be one step ahead to try and bring a genuine smile back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were bright days. There were bad days. But when there were good days, they cherished those memories. When they were bad...Cloud cherished them anyway, knowing those were the experiences that brought them even closer together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One day while Cloud finished fixing the kids lunch, Marlene asked her guardian a question that almost caused him to have a slight panic attack. After taking a few bites of grilled cheese, the little girl perked up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud...are you...planning to marry Tifa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Clang</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The kids looked up and saw that Cloud dropped the knife in the sink. It shouldn’t have caught him off-guard. He knew that question would be coming up, but with everything that was happening...he wasn’t sure if it was proper. He looked around to see if Tifa possibly heard, but knew it was impossible as she was taking a nap upstairs in the bedroom, away from the usual commotion in Seventh Heaven during the week. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Customers weren’t paying attention, though Cloud could tell that some were trying to eavesdrop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon Cloud! We wanna know,” Marlene pleaded. Denzel didn’t add onto the interrogation, but his eyes looked as if he was thinking the same question. Cloud slowly started rinsing the dirty dishes, trying to stall himself from directly giving a definitive answer to it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud?” Marlene asked. “Did you hear what I just asked?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud scrubbed the dishes with a clatter, almost chipping the plates in the process. He didn’t want to turn around, so he painstakingly rewashed things despite being clean and inspected them closely. When stacking the dishes in the rack, Denzel and Marlene looked at each other concerned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud!” Denzel shouted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knowing he couldn’t avoid the subject forever, Cloud turned off the water before facing the children. “I don’t know guys, do you think it’s a good idea? Especially with Tifa being in the condition she’s in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does it matter?” Marlene asked. “Don’t you love her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I do, Marlene,” Cloud said gently. “But, I don’t know if </span>
  <em>
    <span>she </span>
  </em>
  <span>wants to get married. It’s her choice after all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it’s also </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>decision to ask her,” Denzel pointed out. “Why are you holding back?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s not going to be...here that much longer,” Cloud said slowly. He felt his voice catch on his words, and cleared his throat. These days, he couldn’t hide too well how he was feeling about the dwindling amount of time he had left with Tifa. “I don’t know if it’s right to get married and be married for such a short amount of time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He returned his attention to the dishes that were soaking in the sink. “Besides...I can’t give Tifa the wedding that she deserves. It’s...just a lot to handle right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The children looked at Cloud with confusion until Marlene finally released her frustration. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it shouldn’t matter!” the girl declared, causing Cloud to raise an eyebrow. “It doesn’t matter if it’s a big wedding or if it’s just us, but I think you and Tifa should at least get married and make it official, </span>
  <em>
    <span>official</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know Marlene…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Marlene, don’t pressure Cloud,” Denzel said quietly. “We’re not trying to pressure you, or tell you what to do, but what we are saying is that if you do want to go marry Tifa, we’d support you 100 percent and then some.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t as if Cloud didn’t think about proposing to Tifa. He had saved up enough for a decent ring and thought about it at times whether maybe to ask the bartender anyway at some point as more of a symbol. However, he felt himself postponing the proposal with each passing day and with each appointment that they go to at the clinic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t feel it was the appropriate time, but at the same time....</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll think about it,” Cloud said flatly to the kids. “That’s all I’ll say.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene looked disappointed, but Denzel nudged her to accept what Cloud had to say. “Well, we love you both.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The children scurried away with their sandwiches while leaving Cloud to continue on with his tasks and to think over what they said. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>While not fully resuming services, Cloud slowly started getting back to making deliveries again, though in small spurts and limited the routes as far as Kalm. He couldn’t afford the time to go any place when Tifa needed help getting to appointments and being around the family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During this time, he revisited Elmyra in Kalm, letting her know of Tifa’s deteriorating condition and often trying to seek wisdom from someone who wasn’t in Avalanche. Aerith’s mother merely listened and only offered advice when Cloud sought after it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So...you’re asking me whether it’s a good idea to propose to Tifa?” Elmyra repeated the question as the two sat outside in the frosty air. Elmyra’s garden in her backyard was covered in frost and many of the plants were beginning to brown and wither away. “Well...that would be your call, wouldn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t know if it’ll be more painful to get married and then it’s over,” Cloud said quietly. “I don’t really care what other people think of it...it’s just more so of…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you can be the only person to really decide whether that’s good for you or not,” Elmyra said. She looked at Cloud fondly. “But, I think it’s a sweet thing to be able to know someone who was worthy of your heart and to give your fullest self to them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud sat quietly. He then asked, “Be honest with me, Elmyra...does it bother you that I ask you these things when Aerith…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a long pause, but Elmyra kept smiling. “I know that you and Aerith shared a special bond. But, no...it doesn’t. Because she wouldn’t want you to withhold yourself from experiencing the full joys of life just because she wasn’t here anymore. To be honest, I don’t think she’d be pleased if you decided </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>to ask Tifa to marry you and to deny yourselves any chance at happiness, no matter how brief.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two sat side by side, watching people walk past Elmyra’s house, chattering away excitedly. It was almost Christmas time and these people were getting ready to hang up wreaths, decorate the town square with lights and soon, there’d be carolers on the streets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To think that Tifa was diagnosed in the late summer, and that there wouldn’t be another Christmas after this year. Cloud tried to remain optimistic, but it was hard to see that at times. The children had decorated their tree back home at Seventh Heaven, though there were a lot of mixed feelings surrounding it. Tifa quietly enjoyed that memory, because it was the last time they’d be doing it together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s on your mind, Cloud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just...a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s nothing new,” Elmyra teased, prompting a smile out of the man. “I think you know what’s best. But, in my honest opinion...I think you two deserve to be happy. No one else can take that away from you.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“Holy shit.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Barret…”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy shit.”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Barret!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud had told Barret about his dilemma and he wasn’t surprised that the man with the gun for an arm was stunned by the even mere suggestion that he was considering proposing to Tifa. After all, Barret viewed Tifa as almost like a daughter of his own, despite the rough exterior that frightened a lot of people, he did have a soft spot for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well...</span>
  <em>
    <span>damn</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Spiky you’re really gonna be doing it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Cloud said. He hesitated. “I just...don’t know if it’s the right thing to do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two men were sitting outside shooting the breeze in Edge as folks were walking through the falling snow. A few people who passed them would eye Barret’s gun arm anxiously and noticeably start running in a different direction. Despite this, the man never let on that he was bothered by how people viewed him, rather knowing that he was trying to move on from a life surrounding fighting, and instead, dedicated to rebuilding humanity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who the hell cares if it’s right or wrong?” Barret asked with a frown. “The question is, what do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>a second opinion,” Cloud grumbled. “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barret sighed. “Well, if you ain’t sure then don’t do it. But, I say get that decided here and now. You don’t got the time to be wondering if you should or not. Don’t be doin’ it because you think you should. Do it because you love your woman and that you’re willin’ to make that commitment to her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since when did you become an expert in love?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since I was married before,” Barret growled. He then softened. “She was...the most beautiful and gracious lady. If she was still here...Marlene and I would still be in a family unit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barret looked away, but Cloud could hear a quiet cough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know...you’re still part of a family,” Cloud said to Barret. At that moment, the man with a gun for an arm didn’t say anything, but Cloud could see him smiling from the corner of his eye. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was almost sunset, and Cloud rode on Fenrir against a flurry of snow that flew against his driving glasses. He took extra care of the icy streets, though where he was going, he knew that it’d take him a little longer to get to his final destination. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was carrying a special holiday wreath, and made his way to the place where he hadn’t been in several months. It was when Cloud pulled up to the Sector 5 Church when he stopped and shut off the ignition of the bike. Pulling up his glasses, he got off of Fenrir and then carried the wreath with him as he made his way towards the massive wooden front doors leading inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Things haven’t changed that much since he was last in the church. The pews were scattered about since Tifa’s fight with Loz, and Aerith’s flowers were wilted and brown because of the changing seasons. The small pool of water where the healing rains gathered that rid him of Geostigma glimmered against the sinking sun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud walked across the threshold of the church, each step causing the wooden floors to creak under his boots. When arriving at the edge of the pool, he saw the Buster Sword he placed as a memorial to Zack Fair still stood solemnly over the dried flowers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Aerith...Zack.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud gently lowered the wreath he brought with him into the pool, and let it float above the water. Somehow, the pool didn’t freeze over, letting it ripple across the surface. It was peaceful here, but Cloud remembered the last time he spent months inside the sanctuary as his shelter and refuge. A place to keep himself away from Tifa and the children when he thought he was about to die. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no hope then. But after Aerith healed him of his ailments, he felt the strength to keep going. When Zack died protecting him from the onslaught of Shinra soldiers sent to massacre them and to keep the atrocities that the company committed against humanity a secret, Cloud felt courage to become the SOLDIER he felt he could be despite never making the ranks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now that he was in this sacred place once again, he couldn’t help but think of the baptism that saved Denzel’s life. The oozing sore on his forehead faded away after Cloud poured the water over him. He recalled the gentle smile Tifa gave him as if to tell him that he deserved to be happy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, the sight of the water also made him think of the visit that he and Tifa made together to see if Aerith’s magic could heal her of her illness.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cloud helped Tifa as they slowly walked across the threshold of the church. He tried supporting her the best he could, but Tifa stumbled over the loose floorboards and almost fell to the ground. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You OK?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m fine,” Tifa nodded. They carefully made their way to the edge of the pool where Cloud looked into his reflection, warped by the ripples the water made. Flower petals cascaded across the surface, breaking against the small waves created from their movements. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you need some help?” Cloud asked, offering a hand to Tifa who was slowly lowering herself down into the water. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just a little bit.” Tifa felt herself getting soaked from the water, and when her feet reached the bottom, she completely submerged herself beneath the surface. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For a few seconds, Cloud worried about whether Tifa was in trouble. But, shortly after, she broke through the surface. Her long hair slicked back against her head. She wiped her face of the water and blinked several times as droplets rolled down her cheeks. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well? Did it work?” Cloud asked. He attempted to hide the urgency in his voice, but he was desperate to know whether Tifa was freed from her ailments. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tifa examined her hands and her legs and shook her head in disappointment. “I don’t think so.” She lifted her hands and they still shook and she sighed. “It was a nice try, but...I don’t think Aerith’s healing rain stops death.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cloud sat down at the edge of the pool, watching Tifa float on her back. “Do you want to get out and get yourself dried off?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Let me float.” Tifa continued to float on the surface, staring up into the ceiling where there were two different sized holes that studded it. “It’s hard to think that you met her from falling through the roof.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You know...that’s just how life works sometimes,” Cloud said. “You don’t go looking for stuff. It just happens.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tifa stayed silent as the water rippled around her. Then, she started giggling to herself. “You know...water’s amazing.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Huh?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It can create life. It can claim life. For as long as I’ve been in here...I don’t feel pain. I don’t feel the need to use my hands or legs. I can stare at the sky, and just feel like I’m floating away into the air. Away from the earth where you need to move.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She then looked at Cloud by flipping over. He couldn’t help but marvel at how graceful Tifa was swimming in the pool. The water cascading like crystals from the small splashes she made. “As much as I wished Aerith could’ve healed me...I do have some comfort in this.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What is that?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll be able to see her again,” Tifa nodded. “I’ll be able to hug her and tell her how much I’ve missed her. I’ll be able to tell Zack how sorry I am for not trusting him when Nibelheim burned. He saved your life, and that’s a sign in itself that he was a good man.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He was...a great friend.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cloud smiled slowly. “Well, let’s get going then.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Thinking about all that Aerith and Zack had done for him, and knowing that they would be waiting for Tifa when she breathed her last brought a small amount of comfort. Though, he was here because he just needed a sign that he himself would be OK with letting her go. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well...I’m thinking about asking Tifa to marry me,” Cloud said aloud. He knew that there wouldn’t be a voice that would answer him. Though, he half-wished that someone could talk to him. “I just wondered...what the both of you thought about that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a long moment of silence as Cloud stared at his reflection. He wasn’t the one to really believe in a deity or a God, but he did believe that there were people who loved him and cared for him that never left him. His mother...Aerith...Zack...they were all waiting for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon, Tifa would be too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as he was about to head out, he heard what he thought was ghostly laughter ring throughout the sanctuary. A slight breeze brushed him across the cheek as if it was a gentle mother’s hand stroking her child’s face. That was when Cloud knew that somehow, his friends were right there with him. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Christmas Day rolled around, the children were busying themselves with cookies and milk that they baked alongside Tifa, who mostly just instructed them how to make. They were drinking hot chocolate and cider while opening presents. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Avalanche also made themselves available that day and arrived during the week to help celebrate the holidays with Cloud and Tifa, knowing that it’d be the last one they’d be able to do together. It was a jolly affair, though there were some sad feelings that were seeped into parts of the celebrations. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cutting down the live tree, Barret and Cid took care of taking Marlene and Denzel to head out to a Christmas tree farm a good couple hours away near the Chocobo Ranch while Shera and Yuffie stuck around to talk to Tifa and the three women gathered near a stone fireplace inside Seventh Heaven to chat with hands wrapped around stone mugs filled with tea. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nanaki, Reeve and Vincent were near the refreshments, chattering away about the state of WRO and where things were headed in the future. Though Vincent looked as if he didn’t really want to take part in the conversation, aside from making sure that he wouldn’t be needed in the future. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Time for gifts!” Barret roared. “C’mon, gather around the tree before I kick yo asses.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Barret…” Tifa hissed. “Not in front of the children.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” The man asked, confused. “They ain’t swearin’. They ain’t dumb, Tifa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hurry up!” Yuffie complained. “I want to get some cookies! Cid was hogging them all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well girl, a man needs to fill his stomach if he want to be workin’ hard out in the field,” the pilot said gruffly, though Shera looked on in embarrassment. “So stop your yapping and get to opening the gifts!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During gift opening, Cloud watched as exchanges happened amongst the group. Throughout, he silently snapped photographs of Tifa and the children opening presents. Marlene squealing in delight at the new dress and shoes she had been given, and Denzel’s big toothy grin from the new skateboard with emblazoned aurora glimmering on the glossy surface. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nanaki had presented hand-woven blankets to the group with tribal designs from Cosmo Canyon that were warm. Cid and Shera handed out small metal sculptures made of the Highwind that anyone could display in their home. Reeve gifted imported vodka from Icicle Inn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuffie at first joked that she didn’t bring anyone anything, but turned out she was thoughtful enough to give everyone a small box of traditional Wutai candies that looked very similar to Materia orbs. Vincent wasn’t into gift giving and thus, didn’t bring presents. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s OK, Vincent,” Tifa said with a smile. “It’s not required. We’re just happy that you decided to come and spend time together with us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope you...enjoy the rest of your year, Tifa,” the man said quietly. Tifa nodded in acknowledgement. “You have been a really good friend to us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud opened his gift from Tifa, and almost felt himself cry at the sight. It was a vintage camera that had a canvas strap with leather buckles. There was a small Fenrir insignia that adorned the strap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you like it?” Tifa asked with a smile. “I found this a while back, and thought you might like it. I had someone create the strap specially for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There weren’t enough words to express his happiness at this, but he kissed her gently on the forehead as a thank you. “Thank you, Tifa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s all the gifts,” Barret said loudly. “But...I’m guessin’ that there’s still something that you wanted to hand out, Spiky?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With everyone’s attention on Cloud, he started flushing. He wasn’t good at speeches, nor did he usually like having the attention on him. But, this was something that he needed to do and it was an important gift left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without much of an explanation, Yuffie rolled Tifa’s wheelchair closer to the Christmas tree where she was then parked in the center of the round circle of friends that surrounded her. She looked around, confused and then was baffled that Cloud stood right next to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As we all know...this is the last holiday that everyone will be together,” Cloud said, prompting some to blow their noses and others to look away from showing their grief. “While we may be getting smaller, the memories we make now won’t be any less meaningful and love follows wherever it goes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud? W-what are you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knelt down on one knee and quietly slid a ring onto Tifa’s finger. Her eyes widened in shock at the beautiful white gold ring sparkling like millions of stars and a small oval diamond was set as the center stone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“W-What is this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa, I know that we don’t have a lot of time...but the one thing I learned from you is that it doesn’t matter how much time you have but what you make of those moments that count,” Cloud said slowly. “You can probably tell that I practiced that one about a thousand times.” Some of the group started chuckling softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiled a broken smile, Cloud felt his own heart breaking and repairing itself over and over again in a repetitive cycle. Despite knowing this wouldn’t last, he wanted to share every bit of himself with Tifa no matter for how long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know...I’m always late. That’s kind of my thing. But, the one thing I never want to tell myself years down the road was being too late. Too late to know what would’ve been. Too late to know that we could’ve been happy in the time that we had left together. Too late to let you know how much...I love you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was the first time out loud that Cloud said that he loved Tifa, let alone in front of their friends. While he asked Tifa if she loved him, he never openly shared the most intimate words that a human could carry, as they were also the most heartbreaking. He, the man who tends to keep to himself, was sharing his deepest desires and wishes with the only woman who he opened his heart to in his life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt himself breaking as he struggled to keep going. But, he knew he had to push through it. This was something he knew he had to do. Something that he desperately wanted to do. Even if others might think he was setting himself up for the greatest loss, it was worth it because it meant sharing his life with Tifa because she was losing hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa...will you marry me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young woman, who was slowly succumbing to her illness was rendered speechless. She stared at Cloud and then at the ring that was on her finger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud was afraid at first that Tifa would think this was crazy. That this proposal was only meant to fulfill her dying wish instead of his true honest feelings. But what startled him most was when she slowly tried to lift herself out of her wheelchair and lowered herself down the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She then gently wrapped her arms around him, though it required some effort for her to do so. Cloud returned her embrace, crying quietly as the two held each other. It was when he felt something wet on his shoulder that he realized that Tifa was also sobbing. Her eyes glittering like the starry-eyed girl who he loved from his small village all those years ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s not waste any more time then,” Tifa whispered. “Yes. A million times over...yes.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Remember Me This Way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>By the time spring rolled around, wedding planning was almost completed. Since the timeline was so short, Cloud and Tifa settled to have an intimate ceremony just within the group of Avalanche as well as sending several invitations to folks such as Elmyra to come and witness the union. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was decided to hold the wedding at the Sector 5 Church, fulfilling one of Tifa’s wishes that she had. They were keeping the details pretty simple and decided not to do anything too extravagant to keep costs low and to focus on the most important parts of the day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>However, it was still stressful trying to organize the logistics. Who’d be officiating the wedding (Cid graciously offered to conduct the ceremony) and what Tifa’s wedding dress would be (the dressmaker’s son from Wall Market got in touch with Cloud and proceeded to take her measurements). </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though, Tifa seemed deep into her thoughts throughout all of it. Cloud wondered what it could be, though others assured him that she’d be fine once the ceremony took place. During their cake tasting, she merely nodded whenever someone asked for her thoughts on the flavors (she said “yes” to fruit cake despite hating it) before Cloud quickly rejected that flavor combination. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You OK?” Cloud asked while they continued sampling pieces of cake. They went through several slices of red velvet and cream cheese; chocolate with espresso and marshmallow; and even lemon elderflower. Though, the two managed to agree to champagne cream and fresh strawberries. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just have a lot on my mind,” Tifa replied before chewing her sample slowly, refusing to divulge her inner thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time the eve of the wedding arrived, everyone practiced their entrance. Though, Tifa was again caught up in her head, making several mistakes. Cloud patiently waited until the two were in bed that evening before addressing it with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gently caressed her as they laid naked together after a passionate (though distracted) lovemaking session. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to his bare chest. She appeared deep in thought, not even noticing how many kisses he planted on her forehead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you doing OK?” He asked quietly, interlacing his fingers through hers. Tifa smiled as he kissed her hand. “Nervous about tomorrow?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t answer immediately, merely just staring intently at their hands that were intertwined. Cloud watched her playing with his hands, though they weren’t as strong as they used to be. She slowly lifted her right hand and placed it on his face, and slowly made her way through his blonde spikes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It just seems like everything’s happening so fast,” Tifa said, gently stroking Cloud’s hair. “Once this is over...everything changes.” She bit her lip. “For better and for worse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two silently stared into each other’s eyes, knowing that the time they have left is meant for them. Each second was precious, and they didn’t have the luxury of just wasting it away. Now that the wedding was tomorrow, it meant they were bonded forever...in life and in death. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud sighed. “I just wish things were different.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How so?” Tifa teased gently, causing Cloud to look downcast. “Hey…it’s gonna be alright.” When Cloud couldn’t immediately respond to her, his fiancee silently kissed his cheek. “Don’t be like that. You’ll be fine. The kids will be fine...you’ll be safe and sound.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took a few minutes, but Cloud finally just let it out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How come you’re so calm about everything?” Cloud asked Tifa. “It’s not like you’re going away for a trip or something. Once you’re gone...you’re gone. There’s no visiting. No mailing address. No phones. I won’t be able to know where you are. I’ll be wondering when it’d be my turn to come and see you again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a silence, but Tifa merely sighed. “Sometimes...this is just how life is. It’s unfair and unkind. But, you can’t stop living just because my time came too soon. You’ll have to learn how to figure things out, and keep moving forward without me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Cloud muttered. He looked over Tifa and saw the moon shining from their bedroom window. The stars were too far away to see, as the light pollution from Edge continued to keep them at bay. “But...I’d prefer to keep going in life with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa laughed quietly. “Well, we can’t always get what we want.” Though she said it calmly, Cloud could hear the pain in her voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next morning, Cloud prepared himself for the ceremony. He donned a simple black suit and skinny tie with a matching vest. Just as he was attempting to button his sleeves, Denzel came walking in with a similar outfit, though without the blazer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud?” Denzel said, fumbling with his tie. “Can you help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His guardian slowly walked over and assisted him silently with tying the tie with relative ease before adjusting it. When he finished, Cloud gently patted him on the shoulder in approval. “You look good, Denzel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, you too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy then paused. “Is Tifa gonna be OK for today?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What makes you say that?” Cloud asked curiously. “She should be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no...she just seemed a little out of it these days,” Denzel answered. “Marlene went with Tifa to the church by the way. They said they would meet you there when you were ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Barret came and got her?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Denzel said slowly. “Tifa’s doing OK this morning, I think. She was able to stand up for a little bit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“OK, well, we should probably get going,” Cloud said with a curt nod. “Are you nervous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would I be nervous?” Denzel asked with a laugh. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re </span>
  </em>
  <span>the one getting married.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose so,” Cloud answered. “But, no. Weirdly enough...I’m feeling pretty good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel then clapped his hands together. “Good! That means you’re ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cloud smiled before ruffling the kid’s hair. “You’re pretty smart.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey! It took forever to get this hair right!" Denzel protested, but his eyes were shining from excitement. "I'm really happy for you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," Cloud said. "Let's get going."</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Sector 5 Church was beautiful. Despite being mostly in ruin, the stone walls and pews were decorated with garlands of flowers which were created by Elmyra and her supply of blossoms that she grew behind her house in Kalm. Cid looked official in his captain’s uniform while other Avalanche members were dressed in suits. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nanakai wore a headdress that appeared to be traditional Cosmo Canyon tribal wear, and was finished off with a Seraph Comb that belonged to his late father Seto. The beast grinned at Cloud who appeared and stood at the altar alongside Cid. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, ‘bout time you showed up,” Cid said, though he did so approvingly eyeing Cloud’s suit. “You look good kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Cid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From where he stood, Cloud could see Elmyra weeping into a tissue and was sitting in the pews adjacent to the altar. Vincent and Yuffie were sitting in the front row, much to the former’s chagrin. Reeve sat closer to Nanaki in the front, while Barret was presumably with Tifa towards the back of the church. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To his surprise, Cloud saw some shadowy figures in the back and subconsciously reached for his Fusion Sword, though he knew that he didn’t bring any weapons today. He then saw that the figures transformed into the Turks and even the former Shinra president Rufus Shinra made an appearance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their eyes met, and for the briefest moment, Cloud saw Rufus nod in acknowledgement before taking his seat quietly amongst Reno, Rude, Elena and Tseng. They were all dressed in black, though it wasn’t considered to be too out of place. Cloud knew that Tifa extended an invitation to them, despite knowing full well they wouldn’t come. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, to his surprise, they came. Though, they appeared to keep their expressions to themselves, as they knew their part in driving the Planet to the brink was on Shinra’s shoulders. Rufus tried so hard to atone for his mistakes and the legacy he was a part of. For today, however, Cloud was willing to look past it for Tifa’s sake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Probably should get this show on the road.” Cid that motioned to a pianist who started playing a beautiful, soft melody in the corner. The notes cascaded over one another, creating a visionary experience of love and unity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel and Marlene walked down the aisle. The boy with the wedding bands and Marlene with a flower basket, where she dipped her hands and scattered flower petals behind her. The guests smiled at the children as they made their way to the front. They hugged each other before taking their places beside Cloud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a sudden hush that fell over everyone, as the sanctuary doors opened. There, in the blinding light came Barret, wheeling Tifa in on a wheelchair. Her beauty radiated, causing even the Turks to look at her in surprise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud found himself losing a battle of his own. As Tifa was being escorted down the aisle, he thought she looked the most beautiful he had ever seen her. It was the moment where she stopped in the middle that caused him to take a sharp breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Tifa rose from the wheelchair and took a few steps forward on her own. It must’ve been agonizing for her, as there were very little senses left in her legs, but she somehow still made the choice to keep walking despite not necessarily appearing the most graceful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, Cloud still saw her as the most beautiful woman in the world. Barret kept close behind her, making sure that she’d have support if she decided to stop. But, she kept walking towards Cloud. Her beautiful smile, her garnet eyes shimmering with love and tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her dress was ethereal with a lace bodice and a flowy skirt that cascaded around her. Tifa’s long hair was plaited into loose braids with small white flowers studded throughout the tresses. Instead of a veil, she opted for a crystal circlet that surrounded her head, and connected into beautiful, delicate white leaves that sparkled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In her hands, Tifa carried a small bouquet of yellow flowers. A symbol of reunion, and lovers would give them to one another when they met again. Cloud couldn’t help but start to smile at the small buds that resembled the sun, their vibrant yellow colors matching the brightness that Tifa brought into his life when all else seemed dark. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What he didn’t realize was that as Tifa approached, her typical teardrop earring was replaced with a single white feather. While her hair moved, the feather swayed gracefully and lightly like a small angel’s wing. There wasn’t one detail that seemed out of place. Everything about Tifa symbolized an angel on earth, an ethereal being who took the form of a girl he promised his sacred oath to underneath the stars of his hometown. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was his infinity. His quest. His light. Everything led up to this moment, where Cloud no longer questioned or feared what would come next. It was this moment. This little snapshot of perfection in his own infinity that made him realize truly how beautiful his partner was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Tifa arrived in her spot, She stood strong, and Cloud wondered how she was able to make it to the altar when she was struggling for months in dwindling strength. Yet, he didn’t ask. It didn’t matter to him at this moment and undoubtedly, she would</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa’s beauty radiated from within, and everyone who saw her, even forgot for a moment that she was dying. She appeared to glow a brilliant light, and her smile was contagious and blossomed like fresh flowers at the beginning of spring, when life begins to awaken after a long, cold and dark winter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was hard to believe that Tifa was here, standing in front of him with shining eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How?” Cloud whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hero Drinks,” Tifa whispered back mischievously. “The doctor recommended taking several, and that the effects should last me for the day at least. Can’t do it all the time--.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cid cleared his throat and motioned for the guests to be silent. He then turned to Tifa and Cloud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re here on this special day to celebrate the union of Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockhart,” the captain spoke. His normally gruff voice cracked slightly, he closed his eyes as if he was trying to prevent himself from crying. “After a challenging few months, we have come to bring these two souls together and make them one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cid motioned to Tifa and Cloud. “Please join your hands.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa gently held Cloud’s hands in hers, the two facing each other. Cloud couldn’t believe that the vision of pure loveliness was his soon-to-be wife. Their eyes of sapphire and ruby glistened as they could barely hear the words that Cid was officiating over their matrimony. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And now, the bride and groom will share their vows,” Cid declared, and nodded to Cloud to start. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud gazed into Tifa’s eyes and felt his voice cracking. “Tifa…” He breathed, his tears starting to roll down his cheeks. There were sounds of sniffling in the background, and Tifa’s own eyes were spilling tears of her own. “I know this is all going so fast...but for us, time means everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He paused and composed himself before continuing. “I have loved you since we were children. Now, you’ll be my wife. No matter for how long, I know that you’ll always be my life’s purpose and quest. No matter what, I want you to know that I love you, and I’ll always love you. Even when the time comes for us to be separated...know that I’ll be coming for you. I’ll meet you again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel silently handed Cloud Tifa’s wedding band, which the man quietly slid the intricate band onto Tifa’s finger. “With this ring, I bound myself to you. I’ll promise to always love you, even when we are apart. My soul will always find you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa breathed heavily as she attempted to keep herself from crying, though it was futile. Her eyes shed tears as she also slid a matching wedding band onto Cloud’s finger. “When we found each other that day in Midgar, I thought it was fate,” she said, her voice warbling. “When we fought our future, that’s when we were truly reunited. Despite what life threw at us, and what it continues to try to dictate, know this: My love for you will always find you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you, Tifa, take Cloud as your husband?” Cid asked. “To love and to cherish, for as long as you both shall live?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Tifa whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you, Cloud, take Tifa as your wife?” He continued. “To love and to cherish, for as long as you both shall live?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” Cloud said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then, I pronounce you husband and wife,” Cid said. “You may kiss your bride.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was at that moment, Cloud and Tifa shared a passionate, intimate kiss in front of their loved ones. Marlene and Denzel threw up handfuls of flower petals that showered over the happy couple. The guests started clapping in a thunderous roar, despite their small numbers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In that moment, they were lost in each other. Feeling the enormity of that commitment. Despite knowing that their lives would soon be changed forever in a few months, Tifa was smiling brightly, holding onto Cloud as he walked with her down the aisle as they approached the oak doors and stepped into the light. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The wedding reception was small, but beautiful. Seventh Heaven was cleared out for the evening for the private affair, and the food wasn’t too special but it kept guests happy and fed. The cake was cut and many enjoyed the taste of strawberries with each forkful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As each guest congratulated Cloud and Tifa for their marriage, they all seemed to linger just for a moment to express their well-wishes. Though, there was a slight sadness for everyone, knowing that this couple wouldn’t have years together. They’d only have for however much time Tifa could bear with before succumbing to her illness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Seems to be going well,” Cloud said, nodding to the guests eating their fill of pasta and bread. Each guest had a glass of champagne and rose wine, while the children drank sparkling apple juice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes...it is,” Tifa sighed happily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you two!” Barret called out to the couple. “It’s time for your dance!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The crowd whooped and cheered for Cloud and Tifa as the two blushed and headed for the center of the bar. This building meant so much more than just a business, it was their home. The two finally came home to each other as husband and wife. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the soft lulls of a ballad played around them, Cloud and Tifa swayed gently and softly to the music. Cloud felt Tifa’s hands in his, and everything felt right. A feeling of peace fell over him, despite knowing what’s to come. He just wanted to capture this moment. His infinity. This perfect little moment of time and live in it forever, where time wasn’t relevant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking about?” Tifa asked softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just...this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A man of few words still, I see,” she teased. “But, I’m happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad. I am too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa smiled at Cloud. “I never thought Cloud Strife would be the one to want to get married.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cloud laughed ruefully at this. “I never thought you’d agree to marry me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are firsts for everything,” Tifa answered. “And, I hope that you remember this moment.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt himself break slightly. “How could I ever forget?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tifa then kissed him gently on his parted lips, briefly silencing him. “I know you won’t...but remember to live in the now. Sometimes, that’s all I can really ask of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just promise me one thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This night may be over soon, but while I’m able to dance and walk with you tonight...I won’t be able to do so once it’s all over,” Tifa gently placed her head onto his shoulder. Her eyes closed. “But, can you promise to remember me like this? Of us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa waited expectantly of Cloud’s answer, who gazed deeply into his love’s eyes and with a broken smile, whispered, “I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two continued talking quietly to each other as they twirled around and slowly danced in front of their friends in that candle-lit room as the rest of the night blended into their small perfect memory that could never be taken away from them.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Not Everything Was Made To Last</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was a month after their wedding that life at Seventh Heaven started to shift rapidly. There were more doctor’s appointments, and there was less of a lull now that Tifa’s condition was starting to appear in different ways. She could no longer use her legs, and she was struggling to speak at times, her words slurring together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The family continued to work together to keep things running as smoothly as possible. Cloud was continuing to manage customers at both the bar and Strife Delivery Service. Tifa was beginning to take longer naps upstairs, though there were days she would wish for Cloud to wheel her outside and let her doze in the warming spring sunlight for fresh air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During these mini excursions, Cloud would brush Tifa’s hair and tie it into her signature dolphin-tail style. Her ruby eyes would take in everything around her, though she seemed less acutely aware of the small things. She was starting to forget small memories, and soon, she was forgetting significant memories that normally she would lock deep within herself to prevent it from ever being lost to time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, Cloud would try to gently remind her of the things that she would normally remember. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you remember when your birthday is?” Cloud asked worriedly. Tifa’s blank expression as she tried to wrack her brain for any semblance of familiarity was something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh...M-May…” Tifa struggled, her eyes brimming with tears. “M-May…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You almost got it!” Cloud encouraged her. “May?...C’mon Tifa, you know this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“M-May...3rd?” She said with a slight question in her voice. “May 3rd?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! That’s right.” He would smile brightly. Cloud would place Tifa’s hand in his, and gently rub it. He’d see her wedding band and engagement ring sparkle in the sunlight, causing him to breathe audibly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C-Cloud?” Tifa would ask.”What’s...wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you remember...our promise?” Cloud asked quietly. It was one thing to forget a birthday, but to forget their promise would be a knife through the heart. He knew that it wasn’t Tifa’s fault if she couldn’t recall that, but somewhere deep within Cloud, he selfishly wished that she could break through the mental fog to reach out to him and to let him know that she was still in there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just when he figured that she wouldn’t remember, there was something that Tifa reached for, and began to climb out of the dense fogginess that was her memory loss. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa’s eyes sparkled, tears rolling down her face. “You were f-fourteen,” she began. “We m-met at the w-water tower in N-Nibelheim.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s right,” Cloud said gently. “Do you remember anything else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-you wanted to b-become a S-SOLDIER,” Tifa said, her eyes starting to move rapidly as she remembered. Her voice began to grow more firm in confidence. “You promised me that y-you’d come s-save me if I w-was ever t-trapped or in t-trouble.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right!” Cloud nodded. “Try to remember. Was it daylight or night time?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa closed her eyes, her hands couldn’t grasp Cloud’s anymore, though he imagined that she was trying hard to send signals down to them so that she could grab hold of them. “S-stars.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud smiled. “Yeah. There were millions of stars that night. It was so beautiful. It was just the two of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His wife slowly smiled. “I remember...I remember b-back when...I f-first loved you.” The two exchanged loving looks as Cloud wiped the tears off of Tifa’s face. “I waited...for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, Tifa,” Cloud answered genuinely. “I wanted to see you again after those two years. I wish that I just told you that I didn’t get into SOLDIER. Right then and there and showed you who I was.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would have still loved you,” Tifa said slowly. “You still came for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll always come for you,” Cloud whispered. “No matter how far away you get away from me...I’ll always find you and bring you back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not all things were meant to last. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Cloud returned home after his short delivery route to Kalm, he brought home some cookies that Tifa and the children loved. However, when he opened the door he felt an uneasiness as the bar was dark and silent. There was no movement. Nothing to indicate that there was anyone living inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was something wrong. He noted the glass shards that were scattered around, as if someone had dropped a drinking glass or bowl of some sort. Suddenly, Cloud felt his cell phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw that Barret was calling him. He picked up to answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Marlene and Denzel were making themselves some lunch, while Tifa was resting in the upstairs bedroom. It was when there was a large thud that caught the two children off-guard. Denzel ran upstairs to go check out what the noise was while Marlene continued pouring glasses of apple juice into glasses. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Marlene! Tifa!” Denzel shouted down to her. Marlene’s eyes widened and she dropped her apple juice. The glass shattered upon impact. The little girl ran up the stairs and found that Tifa had fallen out of bed, her head bleeding as it appeared she hit it against the night stand with some amount of force. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was unconscious, and Denzel was desperately trying to wake her. “Tifa! Tifa!” The boy was frightened seeing the strong Tifa unable to respond to him. “Can you hear me?! Can you speak?!” He fumbled around her neck and tried to find if there was a pulse, just like Cloud taught him about first aid and emergency training. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There, Denzel found a small, weak pulse. She was alive, though barely. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m calling the hospital!” Marlene shouted. She ran back downstairs and into the office where Strife Delivery Service was based and picked up the landline. She dialed 9-1-1 and spoke urgently to the emergency responders to come right away. After confirming that an ambulance was dispatched, Marlene quickly called her father. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Daddy! Come quick. Tifa!”</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt his cell phone drop to the floor, clattering against the hard surface before sliding away and smacking against the wall trim. The screen had cracked, though Barret could be heard shouting through the receiver. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Cloud! Spiky! What the fuck happened?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything spiraled for him. The bar began to distort itself and Cloud felt his heart starting to beat rapidly outside of his chest. The last thing he remembered was running out the door. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. We'll Meet Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When Cloud arrived at the hospital, the doctors there shook their heads in sympathy as one of them led him to the room where his wife was staying. There, gathered in the waiting room was Denzel and Marlene, and Barret sat in a chair, his sheer size taking up two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The children ran to Cloud and hugged him as they slowly filled him in on what was happening. Tifa wasn’t able to speak, having been intubated. She was also losing the strength to swallow food and to drink water. Her outlook wasn’t good, and they were preparing themselves for her not to make it through the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud...Tifa’s not coming home, is she?” Marlene asked through tears. Denzel looked away, though Cloud knew that was also on the boy’s mind. Her condition had taken a turn for the worse, and there was absolutely nothing left that they could do to change the course of Tifa’s life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid not, Marlene,” Cloud said, trying to steady his own shaking voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dammit,” Barret said harshly. “I thought she’d have more time than this. I thought the doctor’s said a year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t mean everyone makes it to a year,” Cloud answered. “That was the best they could guess on where she was at with her disease.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve, trying to hide his own crying from Cloud. Yet, Cloud wished more than anything to just let the children scream and shout. He didn’t want them to conceal their feelings from him for his own benefit. He needed a release. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We already said our goodbyes,” Barret told Cloud quietly. “She’s waiting for you in the room, if you wanna go and spend some time with her.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“What about everyone else? Don’t they want to say goodbye?” Cloud asked quietly. Barret shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They said their piece over the phone, and Tifa could listen to them. They’re all kind of messed up right now. They couldn’t make it through a few sentences without crying or wanting to hang up. They’re ready to let her go. You’re the last person she needs to see.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Strife?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud, Barret and the children turned their attention and found that the doctor was staring at them. “Your wife is ready for you, if you’d like to go see her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ex-mercenary faced everyone, and they all nodded their heads. Through tear-stained eyes, the children waved goodbye to Cloud as Barret slowly escorted them out. Before Barret left, he gently placed a hand on Cloud’s shoulder as if to give him some comfort. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take care of yourself, Cloud,” Barret said quietly. “I’ll...be coming around to check in on the kids. You take the time you need. OK?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Barret.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The softness in Barret’s otherwise hardened demeanor made Cloud want to cry even more, but he couldn’t break down right now. He had a task in hand. The doctor watched the group walk away and then returned his attention to Cloud. “I’ll take you to go see her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud slowly followed the doctor through the sterile hallways of the hospital. Every now and then he’d see patients resting in their rooms, or see families crying over the birth of a newborn baby, or crying over the death of their loved ones to an illness or old age. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were so many things happening around him, yet Cloud developed tunnel vision as his focus was solely on seeing his wife. Getting to see her and saying his goodbyes. He wished more than anything that time would stop and that each second that passed wouldn’t change anything, and that he’d have more time with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud wanted to be with Tifa, walking on the shores of Costa Del Sol again, taking in the scent of the sea salt air and to watch the stars shoot across the endless night sky. He wanted nothing more to be baking cookies with the children and dancing with Tifa in the kitchen as they baked together. He wanted to take Tifa riding on Fenrir again, and zoom across the prairie lands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, he knew that there was nothing else he could do for Tifa. His place was next to her, sitting by her side and waiting for her to fall asleep and letting the Lifestream take her away from him. Cloud was so deep in his head that he didn’t even notice the doctor stopping in front of Room 777. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here we are...right in here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud held his breath and summoned the courage to take a step inside. He saw Tifa’s lifeless body lying against fluffed pillows as she slept. But, what frightened him most was seeing her connected to ventilators and IV drips. Every now and then, her muscles would twitch. Yet, she wouldn’t wake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your wife’s condition isn’t good,” the doctor told Cloud, shaking his head. “I don’t think she’ll last the night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa’s eyes opened slowly, though she couldn’t speak because of the breathing tubes. She looked so helpless and frail. Cloud was afraid to touch her, that a simple touch could break her. Though Tifa was already toned and slim from the start, her muscles were wasting away and she looked almost skeletal from the amount of weight she lost. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was more Cloud wished he could say, but everything caught in his own throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s not going to make it,” a voice said abruptly. Cloud turned and found that the doctor was standing next to Tifa’s bed. Everything was blurring together for Cloud, who couldn’t trust himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know Tifa,” Cloud answered shortly. “She’s...the strongest fighter I know. She’s gonna be OK...She’s...She’s…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The doctor sighed sympathetically and continued taking notes on his clipboard as he checked Tifa’s breathing tubes that were connected to the ventilator. He then examined her vitals and clicked his tongue while scratching away against the paper with the tip of his pen. “I know this is hard to accept, but Ms. Lockhart--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Strife,” Cloud interrupted. “It’s Strife.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Mrs. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Strife</span>
  </em>
  <span> is in a critical state right now,” he said. “There’s not much we can do but to ease her suffering and make sure she’s as comfortable as possible before she passes. It won’t be for much longer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud didn’t want to acknowledge what the doctor said, but he knew that it was true. Tifa looked close to death, her normally glowy skin was pale and sickly. Her hair was damp against her forehead. There was no color anywhere. Seeing Tifa hooked up to ventilators and IV drips made Cloud suddenly envision himself being experimented on by Professor Hojo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt nauseous thinking about himself floating in Mako, suspended there for four years as Mako drenched knowledge and Jenova cells were being injected into his blood. What he aspired to be, became a nightmare. Everything was taken away from him, and for a steep price—a cursed life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The doctor finished his examination of Tifa before dimming the lights slightly. “I’ll give you two some privacy. Talking to her might be the best thing you can do for her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he left, Cloud slowly sank into a chair and scooted it closer to Tifa’s side. Gently, he placed Tifa’s limp hand into his, stroking her palm lovingly with his thumb. The heart monitor beeps occasionally, measuring her heart rate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Otherwise, there was pure silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa’s eyes never left Cloud’s face. A single tear rolled down her cheek, prompting Cloud to shed tears of his own. The two merely sat in silence, knowing that Tifa couldn’t speak anymore. He thought about what Tifa’s last spoken words to him were. Was it that day when they were sitting together and talking about their promise?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he had only known that would’ve been her last words, then Cloud would’ve tried to have kept her words etched onto his heart. Now, he wonders if he’ll forget what she sounded like. Perhaps he would, knowing how he couldn’t even remember his own mother’s voice anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa…” Cloud held tightly onto Tifa’s thin hands, wishing more than anything he could feel her holding onto him. Yet, he knew that she wouldn’t be able to grasp them. She was struggling to stay awake, the medication causing her to grow drowsier. She wasn’t able to eat anything either, as she had difficulty swallowing food or even taking sips of water. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The end was coming, and Cloud knew it. Tifa’s disease was rapidly reaching its end, taking the girl he loved away from him. The disease was monstrous, and unforgiving. It was spreading, and would continue to ravage and take what it could take to satiate its hunger. Even if it meant leaving its victim in ruin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa tried to speak, but she couldn’t. She merely looked at Cloud, her eyes searching his. He could almost imagine what she was saying to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m so tired, Cloud</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can go to sleep, Tifa,” he said softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I thought...we had more time than this. I’m so sorry, Cloud. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tifa’s eyes sparkled even more. She desperately searched his eyes as if she was wishing for him to forgive her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I wish...I just wish things played out differently for us. I wanted more time. I wanted more time with you and the kids...please forgive me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing to forgive, Tifa,” Cloud whispered, brushing a stand of Tifa’s hair away from her face. “You did amazing. You did more than anyone asked of you. You’re gonna be OK now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cloud...I’m scared. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be scared, Tifa,” Cloud said, gripping her hand. He squeezed it gently, even though he knew she couldn’t possibly feel it. “It’ll be OK.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun was starting to sink into the horizon, bringing about the colors of sunset. Red, orange and purple streaked the sky, and soon, dark midnight blues would overtake the heavens. The sunlight would be gone and then it’d be replaced by the moon and its ethereal glow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud looked out the window, silently wishing that things could change. He felt helpless. The woman he loved was slipping away from him each passing minute. Soon, he knew that she wouldn’t be coming home. She’d remain here, and her spirit would be emerging into the Lifestream. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Cloud rose from his seat and placed a small bottle on the window ledge. Before heading out of Seventh Heaven, he had run back inside and ran upstairs to grab the vial and tucked it deep within his pockets. Tifa’s eyes followed his movements, they shook as it was revealed to be filled with the tiny seashells they collected from Costa Del Sol. It was then sealed with a cork stopper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just thought, you’d like to have this nearby,” Cloud murmured. “You said you wanted to be reminded of walking on the beach when you got tired of the city...I filled this up for you. I thought you might like to see it again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sat back down and gently kissed Tifa’s forehead. All he could do now was have this imaginary conversation with Tifa in his head, though he felt deep in his heart that he could hear her voice calling out to him as she was drifting away into the dark. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Will I find you again? Will you come find me when it’s all over?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll find you again, Tifa,” Cloud whispered. “We’ll meet again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you, Cloud.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then, Cloud saw from the corner of his eye a shooting star streak across the night sky. His heart broke at the sight, knowing that somewhere, Tifa was flying away from her broken body and finding freedom in the sky. Above the earth where she was bounded to, and now, she was free. Imagining this bittersweet moment, he couldn't even hear that the heart monitor flatlined. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Stargazing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cloud felt he was on autopilot, and focused on getting his work done. It had been weeks since Tifa passed, and yet, the immense grief he felt wasn’t feeling so immense. He kept pushing it to the back of his mind, and only strove to make sure that Denzel and Marlene were cared for. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was one morning, when Cloud rolled to his side and reached out for Tifa’s body when he instead felt an empty space where she used to sleep. He opened his eyes and found that the normally warm spot where he’d find his wife, was no longer filled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was the last day that Cloud slept in that bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The clothes that Tifa had in the closet were minimal to begin with, but Cloud was unsure what to do with them. He thought about donating them. He ended up ridding with most of it, though he left her wedding dress untouched and tucked away in the back of the closet, and her sweater that she wore that one day they reignited their relationship. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her scent was faint, but Cloud could still smell Tifa in their pillows, and he resolved never to change out the type of shampoo she used and still kept in their bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The photographs that had Tifa were still hanging on the walls and they were very painful for him, but Cloud knew it was a source of comfort for the children. He struggled internally with what it meant to lose people who mattered to him and having to keep living for himself and for them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know how to process. It felt surreal, thinking that it wasn’t that long ago Tifa would be mixing drinks and running the bar like the young entrepreneur she was. There’d be days when she would lightly chastise him for mixing up the orders, or for showing up late to supper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, even then, Cloud missed hearing Tifa’s voice. He’d even call her voicemail box just to hear the pre-recording of her cheerfully addressing the caller and telling them to leave her a message. He’d play that message over and over during the night, falling asleep to the sound of her voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was after finishing packing up some boxes that he pressed Tifa’s phone number on the keypad, and let the voicemail play on the speaker. Cloud slowly closed his eyes and waited to hear his late wife’s voice come through:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey! It’s Tifa Lockhart...er...Strife. Sorry, I’m still getting used to it. Ha ha. Anyway, I can’t come to the phone right now, but leave your name and number and I’ll try to get back to you as soon as possible. Talk to you later.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud let Tifa’s voice loop on replay as he sank into his pillows in his makeshift room that he created in his office. He couldn’t go back into the room he shared with her. It was too much right now. Instead, he closed his mako-blue eyes and curled up against Tifa’s old pillows and breathed her scent until he fell asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One day, Cloud sat downstairs with Denzel and Marlene for breakfast, though the children were still saddened over Tifa’s death, they were adjusting fine. Though, they were careful not to talk about her as much, though Cloud desperately wished that someone would bring her up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud? Did you hear what I just said?” Denzel asked softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man shook his head. Denzel pointed to Cloud’s coffee cup he was refilling and for whatever reason, zoned out and was causing it to overflow. “You’re spilling.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh...sorry, Denzel,” Cloud said apologetically. He then took a look at the children sitting around the table. Their eyes were saddened. “I’m just out of it lately.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud, are you going to be OK?” Marlene asked worriedly. “Daddy said if you needed time off from Seventh Heaven and your delivery business, that he’d be more than happy to come and fill in for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud shook his head and tried to smile. “I’m fine, Marlene. Thank you though. It’s good to keep yourself busy and not think about things.” The man sighed. “I have to keep packing up stuff and maybe will hit the delivery routes early. I know there are some places I need to go that might take me further out than normal, but Elmyra said she’ll come and stay with you during that time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He then slowly mopped up the spilled coffee from the table and dried off the rag in the sink. Cloud turned to face his family, but felt a stabbing feeling in his heart now that he could only see that it was now just the three of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene and Denzel exchanged looks and reluctantly nodded. “You sure you’re OK?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” Cloud said firmly. He slowly rose from his seat. “I need to get going. But, I’ll give Barret a call later this afternoon and let him know what’s happening.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud?” Marlene said slowly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are...are we going to sell Seventh Heaven?” The little girl asked quietly. “If you want to...then we’d be OK with it. Denzel and I think whatever’s best for you, we’ll be supportive.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt himself crumble at the unconditional generosity and support the children were showing him, but he kept it to himself. “No...not right now, Marlene. I don’t think Tifa would like that,” he tried to say, but he couldn’t get the words out. The children watched him, and he kept his emotions bottled up inside. “I’ll try to think about it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the children’s sake, Cloud didn’t want to make it a bigger deal than it was, but he knew deep down that the kids were his priority now. He couldn’t afford to appear weak or unstable, but that was something he struggled with. Barret warned him not to feel selfish about needing some time for himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna get going now,” Cloud said a little more quietly. “I’ll see you in a few days, OK? Elmyra is almost in town.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The children hugged Cloud and he returned their embrace.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was after finishing his deliveries that Cloud took a break near Cosmo Canyon that he breathed slowly. Thousands of miles away from home, he knew that he put a distance on himself and the family he was now supposed to care for on his own. The immensity of that responsibility weighed heavily as he wondered how he could manage without Tifa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud shifted through his gear bag and froze. Inside, he found the vintage camera that Tifa gave him for Christmas. The custom leather strap with the Fenrir insignia made him sigh. Without thinking much about it, he pulled on the hoop ring that hung from the wolf’s mouth, and there was a small </span>
  <em>
    <span>click. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Confused, Cloud saw that the mouth opened itself up to reveal a hidden compartment inside the wolf head. Within that compartment was a folded piece of paper. He reached into it, and pulled the folded sheet of paper out and felt his heart quicken. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Tifa’s handwriting, and it was addressed to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt his hands shake as he slowly unfolded the paper, revealing a letter that had Tifa’s handwriting before she completely lost control of her own hands. He hadn’t seen her write in her normal style of writing in a long time, and thus, the letter immediately became precious to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, he began to read:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey you, </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If you’re reading this....you probably found this hidden inside your Christmas gift. When I had the guy customize it for you, I wanted to hide another present for you within it so that when you need it most, you’ll find it. Surprise!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But, if you’re reading this, it probably means that I’m gone and that you’re still trying to make sense of everything that happened within the last year. Even less. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t be there to give you one last kiss and hug before saying goodbye.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud leaned up against Fenrir, holding the letter as it was the final remnant of Tifa he had. Words that he wished for from her, were written in her own hand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>While writing this, I’m thinking about all the things that remind me of you, and I keep thinking about that night we were kids. That night under the stars in Nibelheim. Just when I thought our promises were what made those memories real to us, what made me able to find you again despite you losing yourself, I couldn’t help but also think why I always think of stars whenever I think of you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then it came to me. Even when you think the stars disappear, they’re actually always there. They’re still burning brightly in the sky. I’d like to think that the Planet would use my life energy and somehow, send me up to the heavens to become a star. I think that’s romantic, don’t you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Whenever you’re feeling alone, and you think you need me, look up to the stars. Somewhere, I’ll be there and I’ll be watching over you. You said you’ll come find me, and I wanted to let you know where. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There’s a lot of things I wish I could’ve said to you. But, as we both know, time is short. So, I’ll have to tell you everything in this one little letter. There are so many things I want to tell you, and say to you, but I know there aren’t even enough words to fit onto a piece of paper. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So, I’ll just condense it into three words. To my best friend, and to the one person I will miss above all else:</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Come find me, and I’ll be waiting for you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Love, </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tifa. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, there were wet droplets on the paper where it started soaking. Cloud wiped his eyes, as tears steadily rolled down his face. He couldn’t withhold his grief anymore. Cloud sniffed, wiped his eyes and slowly refolded the letter before tucking it into his pocket for safe keeping. He looked above at the sinking sun, knowing he’ll need to spend the night somewhere before it got too dark and monsters would be out on the prowl for their evening prey. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shortly thereafter, the night came and blanketed the sky in its dark velvety richness and the stars sparkled and appeared faithfully as they always do. </span>
  <span>Just as he slowly sat on Fenrir, Cloud looked above him and saw a shooting star streak across the sky. It was at that moment, he smiled a small wistful smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he whispered. “Good to see you.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Drinks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After several days finishing up additional deliveries on the different continent, Cloud returned home to Edge. When he rolled Fenrir to a stop in front of Seventh Heaven, he hadn’t realized how late it was. The windows were dark, except for the main ones that were usually dimmed when closed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guess that means someone else is here,” Cloud said to himself. He turned the keys off in the ignition before stepping off his motorcycle. He slowly headed for the front door, and opened it with one of the bar keys. He fumbled around for a moment, though he still felt as if he was stuck in some kind of funk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as he stepped inside after a small </span>
  <em>
    <span>click </span>
  </em>
  <span>meant he unlocked the door, Cloud found a massive shadow of a person drinking at the counter. He realized that it was Barret, who merely lifted a hand, signaling that he was present. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Barret,” Cloud said, stepping through the threshold. “Wasn’t expecting you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Elmyra needed to get back to Kalm, asked me to step in and wait for ya.” The man took a giant swig from a wine bottle. “The kids are upstairs, if you wanna check in on them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He trudged upstairs, and went down the hallway toward Marlene and Denzel’s room. He knocked quietly, and when he checked in on the children, he breathed a sigh of relief that both were sleeping soundly in their beds. He silently closed their door before heading back downstairs to the bar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barret was drinking from the bottle of Corel Wine before nodding at Cloud who took a seat at the counter next to him. “Want somethin’ to drink?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barret slid down a bottle of wine down over to Cloud who caught it with one hand. He nodded in thanks and took a large swig directly from the neck. He gulped down the drink, and it burned the back of his throat as it trickled down into his stomach, warming up his insides like a fire. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two men sat in silence, drinking their drinks and letting the clock tick against the wall break up the quiet every now and then. Cloud kept taking swigs, wanting to get himself drunk. He was feeling all sorts of things, and he wasn’t sure how to talk about them with anyone, let alone someone who was pretty critical of him from the beginning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I remember what it was like...wanting that drink.” Cloud looked up and saw that Barret was examining his own glass. His gun arm resting against the shiny wood bar top. His dark eyes furrowed at the red liquid. “I thought, the more I drank, the more I could forget about being stuck with the shitty reality that I had no one left.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man turned toward Cloud with a slight smirk. “How was it?” Barret asked quietly. “Being out there on your own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cloud wasn’t sure how much he wanted to tell Barret about his feelings, but he decided that he should at least try to open up and share his pain, as much as he dreaded it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There was a moment, when I considered never coming back,” Cloud said, fiddling with the wine bottle. He tilted it onto one side, seeing the dark liquid swirl around the inside. “I just thought...how much of reality can I really take now. Tifa’s gone. I-I sometimes don’t know which way is up or down. My mind’s just fucked.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud peered deep into his bottle of wine. “Some days, I do fine. Other days, I get so lost in the dark, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just get so wrapped up in wanting to make sure everything is going smoothly and OK for the kids, that I’m stuck in survival mode. I’m afraid what happens if one of these days, that dies.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He braced himself for Barret’s verbal assaults, but Cloud was surprised that Barret seemed to quietly process what he was saying to him. The burly man slowly continued sipping his wine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Listen here, man. Life ain’t easy. I know what it’s like losing a wife,” the man with the gun for an arm said. “I know exactly what you’re going through. You feel like you’re underwater, and you don’t know which way the surface is and whether you’re drowning or taking that first breath of air, you’re just worried about being dragged under again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barret then glanced over at Cloud. “Shit, when Dyne was gone I didn’t know what to do. I came to Corel, thinking I lost everything. My wife Myrna was dead. Our home was in shambles, I thought I wouldn’t be able to come out of that. There were nights, when I thought I should’ve burned alongside Corel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud silently sat there, listening. Barret continued. “But, just when I thought all was lost...I found her, Marlene. She was a tiny thing back then. I found her sleepin’ in her crib. Her entire house was burned down to nothin’, and yet, she never woke up. I took that as a sign that I was alive because she needed me. My job wasn’t done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you ain’t about talkin’ about how much you give a damn and shit, but I’m layin’ it out there for you,” Barret said. “I know what it’s like. I don’t blame you for feelin’ these things. I know what it’s like. It’s heavy shit. But, for the children’s sake, you have to talk about it. You gotta work through it, otherwise...what chance do they got? They have you, and you have them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The former mercenary looked down at his bottle of wine and took another swig, the familiar warmth the alcohol created deep inside made him think even more introspectively about all the things that he thought about. His desire to flee, but then he was anchored to reality and the growing acceptance that he couldn’t leave even if he wanted. His love for the children was what continued to tether him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still think about Tifa,” Cloud muttered. The red wine in his bottle resembled the shade of her eyes, and the more he stared into it, the more he missed her. He shoved the bottle off the counter, causing it to shatter. Shards skidded across the ground, and the liquid steadily seeped into the ground like blood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barret noticed this, but he didn’t rebuke Cloud. He merely reached over and slid another bottle to him. “Get it out now. Sometimes, we all need a moment to break shit. We need to let some of it go and out. If we keep bottling shit up, then it’ll break you at some point. Best do it in front of friends, they’ll keep it real with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Since when did you become the man with the advice?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never asked,” the man shrugged. He gulped down his drink. “Besides, someone’s gotta keep yo spiky ass movin’. That was Tifa’s job, but since she ain’t here anymore, I took up that honor. Though, I won’t be nice about it like her. I’ll kick it back into shape.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just my luck.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hell it is,” Barret roared, though he had a lot to drink, his voice was clear and his eyes were even more focused. “I mean it, Cloud. You can’t afford to give up when you have so much to do. I’ll be there to remind ya. Keep you on track with everything’.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t ask for you to do that for me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To hell with doin’ it for you. I’m doin’ it for Marlene and Denzel!” Barret roared. “While they may have lost their mother, we ain’t gonna let them lose their dad neither.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s...almost sweet of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Watch it,” Barret said. “Don’t be gettin’ cute or soft or nothin’. “</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two men sat silently next to each other for several minutes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reminds me of you in your sailor suit,” Cloud said, swirling the new bottle of wine before uncorking it and taking a massive swig. “Looked like a bear wearing a marshmallow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You bitch.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two men started chortling and laughing, though there was still a massive aching feeling in Cloud’s chest. At least, he had someone to keep his head on straight, even if it meant dealing with the hard stuff.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Things Change For Better and For Worse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Things at Seventh Heaven settled after a year since Tifa passed away. Cloud and Barret took up the brunt of the responsibilities that the deceased bartender would do to keep things running smoothly. It was only then that the men realized how much Tifa actually did, and how good at it she was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Customers who were loyal to Tifa somehow decided to show that same loyalty to Cloud, though there were significantly less single men coming around the bar for more than just a drink. Instead of flirting with the barmaid, they’d be trying not to piss off the former mercenary who glared at them with those crazy mako-blue eyes that glowed strangely in the dim lighting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, there was so much business that the men were beginning to make careless mistakes, causing some things to fail and others to hit their profit margin. There were simply way too many demands to keep things separated from each other, leaving Cloud and Barret to deal with the mess. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Avalanche members would sometimes come through with updates on how things looked in the rest of Gaia: Yuffie shared that Godo contracted some type of illness and that the line of succession in who’d lead Wutai would soon fall onto her shoulders. It was strange seeing the usually spunky ninja take on a sudden solemnity at her new role. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nanaki had several cubs with his mate, Deneh, and would send Cloud and Barret several photographs that his tribe would take of his children. He seemed more than settled into his role of guardian of Cosmo Canyon. At first, he wasn’t sure how to take on the role of guardian when Bugenhagen passed away, but somehow, he came fully into his own and brought pride to the canyon as Seto’s warrior son. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cid and Shera were married and though they never considered having children, Shera announced that she was pregnant by several months, much to the chagrin of the pilot. He had been navigating the skies in search of alternative energy sources for the WRO and to mark them as potential sites to harness wind, water and solar energy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though, he had been less into cussing and tried to kick his smoking habit for the sake of his unborn child, much to the amusement of Cloud and Barret. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vincent had disappeared for a year, though Cloud received a mysterious text message a while back to say not to go looking for him. The ex-Turk was adamant about staying far away from the rest of the group, causing a number of complaints from Yuffie who thought it was heartless to abandon Avalanche when they saved the world together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cloud never really sought to bring Vincent back into the fold unless the man wanted to return on his own free-will. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reeve stops in every once in a while to try and convince Cloud to work full-time with the WRO, but the mercenary was bound to Seventh Heaven in an attempt to continue bringing Tifa’s legacy to full realization and to make it the best place to raise his family. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Barret was just Barret, though he was more than willing to stick around now and have a hand in helping raise Marlene and Denzel. Though Cloud would never admit it openly to the man, he did enjoy having some company in the home where the constant presence kept some dark thoughts at bay for most of the time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elmyra would visit from Kalm every now and then and bring baskets of flowers she grew in her garden and use it to freshen up the bar’s flower boxes that were installed outside the industrial windows. They brought a touch of femininity that Tifa would have loved, as she once declared to Cloud that maybe she should’ve filled the original shop with flowers, as they were considered a rarity and a luxury. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud mostly kept to his business and raised the children quietly. He wasn’t perfect by any means, but he was still managing to take care of them and kept a roof over their heads. There were nights when Cloud would have nightmares about Denzel and Marlene starving or getting sick, but Barret was also around to help keep them company as he still sorted through Tifa’s affairs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a certain point, Barret expressed to Cloud that he wanted to get back out into doing field work for the WRO, having found purpose in finding oil fields to create new sources of energy that wouldn’t destroy the Planet’s life force. Though Cloud was apprehensive about being left alone to care for the children, he ultimately gave Barret his blessing and made him swear to come back more often and to visit Marlene instead of long periods of absences. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you’re more afraid of being alone than you’re letting on,” Barret said, clapping Cloud’s back. “Don’t worry, I think you’re gonna be OK. You’re living on just like Tifa wanted.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blonde never wanted to admit it to Barret, but his presence kept him from lingering too long on his depressive thoughts about Tifa, and where her death left him and the children. They’d manage, sure...but Cloud never had to deal with taking care of the children fully on his own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be fine, Cloud...really,” Barret said in a serious tone. “You have to learn how to stand on your own sometimes, and pull yourself up when you’re knocked down. Don’t stay down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next morning after that conversation, Cloud didn’t see Barret leaving. Though, Marlene merely shrugged and stated that “Daddy had some business” and never mentioned it again. She was used to his trips, and solely trusted in his ability to come back home and pay a visit whenever he could. The little girl was growing older, and she was gaining some independence in being able to manage her own affairs on her own at times. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One quiet morning on the weekend, Cloud came downstairs with his blonde spikes messier than normal. He had been feeling pretty exhausted as of late, though he had settled into a routine—get the children ready for the day, and to start opening up shop at Seventh Heaven and prep for the customers who depended on him for their meals, drinks and deliveries.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>However, it was during the weekends that he realized that he probably needed to take breaks and be around to spend some time alone with the children. Sure enough, Marlene was sitting at the counter reading a book while swinging her feet from a high bar stool. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Cloud!” Marlene said in a sing-song voice. Cloud yawned and smiled weakly at her. “You look awfully tired today.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Morning, Marlene,” he said. Cloud slowly made his way towards the stove and got out a skillet. He turned to face the little girl. “Want some pancakes?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes please!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He started pulling out ingredients to make some pancakes, and as soon as he whipped up the batter, Denzel appeared disheveled with sleepy eyes and messy hair. “Morning Denzel,” Cloud called out to him. He didn’t take his focus from the skillet so that the pancakes wouldn’t burn. “Want some pancakes?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that sounds good Cloud,” Denzel said with a large yawn. He crawled up onto the barstool, and placed his head on the counter top. Marlene giggled at her brother’s apparent exhaustion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tired, Denzel?” Cloud asked, raising an eyebrow as he flipped a pancake expertly. “What did you do last night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N-nothing,” he responded though unconvincingly. He tried to restrain another yawn, but he failed epically. Cloud sighed in response. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m guessing this has something to do with reading another chapter of that comic book that I told you not to read so late into the night?” Cloud asked calmly. “What did I say about getting some sleep and turning in early? That thing wasn’t gonna go anywhere.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aw, I know...but I got to a really good part,” Denzel said, blushing slightly. He could barely keep his eyes open. “Sorry, Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Denzel don’t do that again,” he replied sternly. “Since you were willing to forgo sleep, then you wouldn’t be too tired to help me clean out the garage and organize all of the tools that you left out the other day, would you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy almost protested, but he merely shook his head. It was a lost cause, and Cloud knew that Denzel would think twice before missing out on precious hours of sleep. Especially at his age. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” he said before drinking some orange juice from a glass. “I’m sorry again, Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re forgiven, as long as you learn.” Silently, Cloud flipped the pancakes and placed them onto separate plates for the kids. He then placed several strips of bacon onto the griddle and started frying them alongside some eggs and home fries. Soon, the air smelled of delicious breakfast, something almost reminiscent of how it used to when Tifa was alive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, Cloud...you’re really getting good at cooking,” Marlene said, her eyes widening as Cloud quietly placed dishes in front of the kids. “What’s the occasion?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, just wanted to spend some time with you guys today,” Cloud said with a shrug. He poured himself a cup of coffee and added a little bit of creamer into it, bringing forth a creamy and delicious looking caramel color to the otherwise piping hot brew. He took a sip, noting the depth of the roast. “I figured with me going on the road and being so busy running the bar...I haven’t really got a chance to check in on you both.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene and Denzel chewed their food thoughtfully before swallowing. “We’re OK...it’s hard sometimes when I feel sad thinking about—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The little girl covered her mouth and looked worriedly at Denzel who immediately shook his head. Sometimes, Marlene could be impulsive in what she was thinking and didn’t filter it out. Though Cloud appreciated their care and caution around approaching the topic of Tifa, he still missed talking about her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know how you feel, Marlene,” Cloud said while sitting down at the bar. “I think about her all the time.” He sighed before drinking the last dregs from his now cold coffee. “It’s hard to believe that it’s been one year already.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you...get lonely?” Denzel asked quietly. “Like...</span>
  <em>
    <span>lonely.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud started blushing a slight pink, but he merely shook his head. “I don’t have the time to feel lonely when I have the two of you to take care of, plus running two businesses.” But he thought introspectively at his own personal conversation with Barret about being honest with the kids about his feelings. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It does get hard sometimes, but to be honest, I’m not ready to meet anyone,” Cloud said slowly. “I’m not sure if I’ll ever find someone who comes remotely close to who Tifa was, and I’m not looking to add anyone to our family just yet. Just focusing on the three of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marlene cleared her throat. Cloud flushed. “And your daddy, Marlene.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel poured some syrup on his pancakes and chewed thoughtfully on his bacon. “Are you nervous about taking care of us without Barret around? He did help out quite a bit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud can do it, Denzel,” Marlene said firmly. “Right, Cloud?” The little girl looked for reassurance that all would be well. He merely nodded, hoping to ease some of her worries. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be fine, Marlene. We’ve been doing everything pretty well on our own for a while. Nothing’s gonna change that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as Cloud was about to pour himself another cup of coffee, he suddenly felt his cell phone vibrate. He flipped it open, and saw that Reeve was calling him. He tried to ignore the vibrating, but it wouldn’t stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gee, who wants to talk to you that much?” Denzel asked, his eyes widening at his callous remark. “Not that no one wants to talk to you—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, Denzel.” Cloud flipped open his phone. “It’s just Reeve.” He then pulled the phone to his ear. “What is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cloud tried to listen closely to Reeve’s voice, but something felt off. His vision started spinning and blurring together. He tried to squeeze the bridge of his nose in between his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Reeve...I need a minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Is everything alright?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m feeling a bit...off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Cloud, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about</span>
  </em>
  <span>—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud promptly hung up the phone. He felt his own breathing starting to quicken, and his head was starting to throb uncomfortably, to the point where he felt nauseous. Marlene and Denzel looked on with concern. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud? Are you sure you’re OK?” Marlene asked worriedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m a little bit tired, but you know how it is,” he replied. “I had a bit of a late night trying to get all those routes done.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should really get some rest,” Denzel replied sagely. “You’ve been doing so many things, your body is probably gonna run itself down.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe...I’ll go lie down,” the former merc frowned. “Don’t be trying to get out of helping me clean out the garage later today. You still have to—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was as he said this that his world started swirling together. Colors were blending into a mess that made Cloud’s eyes burn. Something was happening. His world was distorting itself, and his breathing was growing erratic and shallow. He closed his eyes, trying to lessen the disorientation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud? W-what’s wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything’s...a little blurry,” Cloud said, wiping his eyes. “I’m really...feeling...dizzy.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then the courier suddenly collapsed, hitting his head on the bar top before landing on the ground. Everything sounded far away to him, as he could see two pairs of little feet running frantically toward him as his vision started fading away to black. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Degrading Into Nothing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>They were running. Cloud, Tifa and Barret dashed through the metal bridges interconnecting their paths to escape the Mako 5 Reactor. Robot guards hovered above them, casting their laser focus onto their targets. They were being completely surrounded, their one chance at escaping was gone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wondering if the flames would explode and consume them all as painlessly as possible, Cloud heard a slight gasp and saw that Tifa was pointing something out over the landing. A humongous, almost monstrous hologram projection of President Shinra loomed over them like a Titan in its eerie blue glow. His greedy eyes looking down at them with disdain and cruelty. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“President Shinra?!” Barret called out to him. A droid zipped through the air and locked its sights on the three Avalanche members, analyzing them. It specifically took interest in Cloud. Perhaps, even catching the attention of President Shinra, as he shifted his gaze toward the blonde mercenary. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oho. The eyes of one who was bathed in Mako,” the president said with interest, raising a hand. “Which would make you a SOLDIER?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cloud quickly drew his Buster Sword. “Ex-SOLDIER.” His eyes were furrowed at the president, wanting to destroy the hologram and get Tifa and Barret out of harm’s way. He had an obligation. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Once a SOLDIER, always a SOLDIER, though not alas, very long.” President Shinra’s hologram mockingly said. Tifa raised her fists as Barret aimed his gun arm directly at the hologram. “Accelerated cellular degradation being the most common cause of death so far.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He then smirked. “This is classified, of course, but every SOLDIER knows the truth.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The mercenary felt his insides writhe and leaden at the sound of that revelation. He knew for a while that SOLDIERs were subjected to specific testing in order to make the ranks. However, he rarely heard from those who detract and get away from the SOLDIER program. Usually through suicide, murder and extortion. Shinra was always one step ahead to keep their secrets from reaching the outside. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The truth was that Shinra would kill anyone who was a candidate of the program, or was involved in some way. There were always questions as to why the SOLDIERs were all young, and for whatever reason, would disappear and never return. Mostly, because the company would assassinate them and make it look like an accident or a suicide.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tifa looked over at him, her ruby eyes glistening and worried. Cloud hated seeing her like that. The last thing she needed to see was how truly scared he felt inside. He didn’t want her to be scared for him. He promised that he’d protect her and save her. That’s exactly what he intended to do. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The man simply had no time to feel sorry and scared for himself. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He looked directly at the hologram and stoically faced his inevitable fate “...that’s right.”</span>
  </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Cloud sat inside a medical clinic set up by the WRO down the block. It was the very one that Tifa would go to for her treatments with her terminal illness that eventually claimed her life. To find himself in the same position as his deceased wife was nothing short of cruel poetic irony. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reeve was sitting across from Cloud, his eyes avoiding direct contact. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cloud—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How </span>
  <em>
    <span>long, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Reeve?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The head of the WRO looked down at his hands, and he sighed sympathetically. “A year or two at most,” Reeve said sadly. “I’m sorry, Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>These words would normally condemn any normal person, and would send most into a tailspin knowing that their longevity was compromised. Let alone hearing about such a short period of time. It almost felt ironically similar to when Tifa revealed that she had less than a year to live herself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He silently looked on toward the horizon through the clinic’s window at the sun setting in the far off distance. “Funny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is?” Reeve asked curiously. “What about this could be funny?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve survived the end of the world when Meteor fell. I almost died from a terminal illness that was caused by Sephiroth’s will that poisoned the Lifestream and all those exposed to it,” Cloud said almost in a laughing manner. “We fought so hard to keep me alive when there was no cure, and a bit of rain cured me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s just funny,” Cloud said, shrugging. “That somehow, I’m meant to die. Sometimes, it gets a little tiring too. You wonder if you’re going to live or die. You’re too scared to just let it happen, but then you get too tired about carrying on and seeing things through till the end.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not funny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is to me.” The blonde started laughing until tears formed in his eyes. He brushed them away. “It’s just a never ending circle. You start and keep going until you’re back where you’re started. Eventually, everyone dies. It’s an inevitable conclusion. Either you die warm in your bed and drift away in your sleep after living a full life, or die suddenly from an illness or some tragic accident.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reeve seemed thoughtful for a moment and then started laughing. “Cloud, you have a morbid sense of humor, but I can see your perspective. After everything you’ve been through, it’s no wonder that you think this way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud returned a small smile. He gazed intently at the sunset, wondering how on Gaia he was here with Reeve Tuesti of all people. How could he expect a man who worked for the company that was responsible for causing so much pain and destruction in his life, to fully understand what he was feeling? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud...it’s OK to feel upset—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s cruel irony...that I was the one who wanted to face things alone, and that’s exactly what I got. Funny, I finally got what I wanted, and can’t say that I like it very much,” Cloud mumbled to himself, clenching his teeth and his fists tightly, causing veins to become more pronounced on the back of his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“All I’m saying Reeve, no one knows how or when they’re going to die. Whether you live to be 100, or less...it’s all a matter of luck. You’re lucky to live to a certain age, and lucky to even live a relatively normal life. I unfortunately...got dealt a bad hand. All because I wanted to become a SOLDIER.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He then bitterly started pacing the room. “So, what’s next then? Is the WRO coming up with any experimental treatments—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud was about to ramble on, but then he realized that Reeve seemed uncharacteristically silent and forlorn. He appeared to be withholding something from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it, Reeve?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud...I don’t think I can help you with that,” Reeve said quietly. “This was Hojo’s experimentation. No matter how many medical journals and files we’ve scoured through, there’s nothing to go on to help reverse the degradation process. We can buy you some time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He then stared intently at his friend. “I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do for you. As much as the WRO seemed to make advancements in other areas, medicine and science continues to be something that Shinra had decades of research they buried with them.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was an immense tension as Cloud continued to smile, almost manically as he started laughing again. Reeve looked wary. “What’s happening?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly Cloud flipped his chair over and started shattering the windows with his fists. He started screaming as he pounded against the sterile white walls, leaving holes through the plaster. Reeve didn’t make any sudden movements to stop his friend. The man in his dapper suit sat in silence as Cloud continued to destroy the examination room with rigor and purpose. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shinra always seems to continue fucking us over, despite putting their damn business to ruin,” Cloud snarled, smashing hanging degrees from the walls. “They took my hometown. They killed my mother. They created that </span>
  <em>
    <span>monster</span>
  </em>
  <span>—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“While I would agree with the majority of that statement, Sephiroth still made his own choice on his free will to massacre those innocent villagers and for setting everything ablaze,” Reeve interrupted harshly. “I would be very careful to not cast blame—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And </span>
  <em>
    <span>you,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Cloud spat venomously. “You spied on our group. You were trying to undermine our efforts to support Shinra’s damn mission. You took </span>
  <em>
    <span>Marlene </span>
  </em>
  <span>as collateral if we didn’t do what you said.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man continued to destroy whatever he could get his hands on. He even for a moment, felt the desire to rip Reeve apart for simply being present in the room. For once, Cloud wanted to feel at peace with his life and to live out the remainder of his days. He didn’t anticipate the news of his degradation to be accelerating so fast. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud closed his eyes and thought about Marlene and Denzel. Oh god. What would that mean for them? What would that mean for their futures? What would that mean, knowing that their last semblance of a family they had would once again be taken away?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a slight pressure on Cloud’s shoulder, and he immediately looked up to face Reeve who seemed at a loss for words. Yet, he managed to open his mouth and continue to try and show some compassion for someone who was traumatized and broken from the last several years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Again...I can’t apologize enough for doing that at the time,” Reeve said. “You didn’t know what it was like trying to keep Shinra from making anymore mistakes that could kill more innocent people. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do what was necessary to make sure they trusted me as I tried to stall them—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you feel like that was enough to be rid of your guilty conscience?” Cloud asked murderously. His mako-blue eyes were glowing. “You’re now sitting at a cushy position, trying to lead our broken world back into prosperity. What makes you think I can trust what you’re doing? That you won’t turn into fucking Shinra Part 2?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reeve sighed. “I’m not going to try and convince you to trust me, despite me continuing to support Avalanche until the very end. I know you’ve been through a lot these past years, and even within the last year of Tifa’s death, but you cannot continue to hold onto this. You’ll only exacerbate the degradation process.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because of Shinra, I’m going to be taken away from my kids,” Cloud said, his eyes radiating in rage. “They had their lives ripped apart because of that damn company, and yet, you’re expecting me to sit this one lying down and just hope that the degradation process goes fast?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man looked away. “I know nothing I say can convince you otherwise to be forgiving, and I will live with that debt and that sin for the rest of my life. But, believe me Cloud, if there was any way for me to stop and take the degradation process away, I would do it. I don’t want to see Marlene and Denzel continue to suffer more losses, and lose you after losing Tifa so soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a resounding quiet that fell over the both of them in waves. Cloud was staring at someone who knew about Shinra’s evil deeds and yet, he was trying to claim full immunity of being responsible for the wreckage and havoc that his company caused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, there was another deep burdening feeling that Cloud knew that Reeve wasn’t trying to escape responsibility. There was no one left to claim responsibility for the damage inflicted onto him, as Hojo disappeared and presumably died all those years ago at the top of the Sister Ray in Midgar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The father of his enemy. The man who tried to destroy humanity simply for his crazed obsession with what he thought was a “perfect science.” He instead ruined so many innocent people and catastrophically created so many casualties in his own selfish pursuit of becoming a deity that would rule over Gaia. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So there is no hope then?” Cloud asked quietly. “Am I doomed to die this way?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I said, we can try to delay it,” Reeve said, clearly looking relieved that his friend was changing his demeanor. “But, the likelihood of finding a cure in any of this is very slim. We just need you to be aware and to accept that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud rose like a zombie and started heading toward the door. “So...what does this mean for everyone? What does this mean for trying to live out my life and fulfilling what Tifa wanted?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reeve slowly walked over to the dismantled and ruined clinic door and opened it to the outside. He tried to look away and not show his sadness. “I don’t know what Tifa would’ve wanted. That answer lies with you.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Once Again You're Dead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The one thing that Cloud learned during his life was that grief can’t be wished away, nor can people fix it. There is an immeasurable type of pain in the world that can’t be vanished or be cheered up. He didn’t need to move on from that grief, nor does he need solutions. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>More than anything, he wished for Tifa to still be there. He wanted to feel her hands in his, and that there’d be someone who can recognize his pain with him and let him grieve his memories and the people he loved who were lost to him, and now, to help be in that position for those who were going to be experiencing that grief once he passes away into nothing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grief was not something that could be fixed. It could only be carried. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a harsh reality that Barret and the children were taking in themselves. They merely listened to him as Cloud explained his prognosis and the ongoing cellular degradation that he was succumbing to because of the experimentation that he underwent from Shinra. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After he finished, there was a deafening silence that sent unease throughout Cloud’s core. No one said anything. They merely stared at him, though the exact nature of their feelings were etched on their faces. Their eyes not concealing the immense rage they felt. It was the silence that was getting to the man. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can someone please say something?” Cloud almost pleaded. He stared at everyone in the room. Barret drank heavily from his tankard while Denzel and Marlene were trying to fight back their angry tears. “I mean it. The silent treatment is killing me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The courier immediately felt himself bite his tongue for the ill-timed joke. Denzel looked angry at Cloud and then he immediately stood up. Cloud saw tears flowing freely from his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Denzel…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me the truth, Cloud...d-did you know that you were going to die sooner or later?” The boy glared deeply into his guardian’s eyes. “Did you know that and kept it a secret from all of us?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There wasn’t anything Cloud could say that wouldn’t immediately cause everyone to hate him at that precise moment. He knew what was coming. Was it better to stay silent? Was it better to tell the harsh truth? Was it better to lie and pretend that everything was OK so that everyone could go on with their lives at his expense?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was there a perfect answer for this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, the boy stomped over to the bar and with one giant sweep he knocked down an entire display of liquor bottles and wine that felt in a hearty </span>
  <em>
    <span>crash</span>
  </em>
  <span> against the floor. Glass shattered everywhere, sending pools of blood-red liquid out onto the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Denzel!” Cloud shouted. “Get a hold of yourself!” He immediately ran over to the boy and tried to keep him in his hold. He struggled violently against his guardian who tried to calm him. “Knock it off! What’s gotten into you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, Denzel turned around and shoved Cloud, though it barely moved the man. He merely stared down at the boy who was starting to punch at his torso. Despite the blows, it didn’t hurt him physically. But the emotional blows of the effects of his impending fate made it much more scarring than feeling cuts and bruises. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING?!” Denzel roared, his fists pounding against Cloud’s chest repeatedly. The man merely stood in silence as his adoptive son continued to hit him. “This isn’t fair!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Denzel…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“DAMN YOU!” He sobbed, snot dripping from his nose. The boy continued to punch Cloud, though he was running out of steam. After a few more swings, he collapsed into his hero’s arms and sobbed uncontrollably like a baby. “You KNEW that you were going to die eventually?! Were you just going to stay quiet until you faded away?! YOU SELFISH SON OF A BITCH!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel kept hurling insults at Cloud, who silently bore the emotional weight that the kid was throwing at him. He didn’t feel the need.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silently, Cloud held Denzel, stroking the back of his head like Tifa would do whenever he needed comfort. It was a small consolation, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say that would make the situation better. There was literally nothing else he could do to make it better. He knew as much that they needed to feel their pain instead of hiding it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was something that didn’t need fixing. Grief didn’t work that way. Now Cloud knew that more than himself, the children would also be carrying grief with them like an insidious disease that would continue to stay with them forever. Some days it’ll be non-existent or dormant, but others...it’ll suddenly burst out of them and infect them to a crippling mess that can’t be cleaned. That was what Cloud worried most, was who would help the children carry this weight of immeasurable grief?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cast a look over to Marlene and Barret who were holding each other. The girl was crying, though silently. Barret merely held her in his arms protectively as he gave Cloud a knowing look. This was all a part of life on Gaia. They knew that there were others who’d be waiting for them in the end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was the only comfort that Cloud could find. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later that night, Cloud settled himself in his bedroom. Despite Avalanche members giving him numerous calls, texts and leaving voicemails on his phone, he couldn’t find it in himself to be comforted by anyone. He didn’t want to be cheered up or to be shown the positive. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt he messed up somewhere, but then, Cloud also felt conflicted feelings of telling the children that he was meant to die a few years back. The price he paid for joining an elite fighting force at the price of power. There was a little bit of regret, but also relief that it was finally out there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud Strife was going to die from the cellular degradation that eventually ended the longevity of those who were in SOLDIER. It was as simple as that. If it wasn’t from Geostigma, it would be from his own declination of health as the Jenova cells injected into him would eventually claim him too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Those early days...when I remembered coming to Midgar to train and become one of the best. I wondered why so few graduated from the SOLDIER program. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Cloud thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They were physically and mentally ill. At least, that’s what leadership told us. They all dropped out</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it was all a ruse. So many of those candidates died through suicides and accidental deaths. Some escaped the program, but Shinra couldn’t have the public knowing what was happening in their inhumane treatment of innocent lives. They knew Mako addictiveness, and how overexposure could create monsters. They instead concealed it from the rest of the world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn you all.” The man pounded his fists to his face, thinking about what it all meant for his future. What it meant for Marlene and Denzel. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stared at the ceiling and breathed deeply. He tried to keep himself calm, there was a feeling of regret at hiding something from the children. Perhaps, an innate feeling of wanting to spare them the trouble of knowing about it. But, he had done so with Geostigma, and they embraced him when they found out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It was a betrayal of trust,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>a ghostly voice called out to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who said that?” Cloud asked, his eyes scanning the room. There was no one there. He felt he imagined it, but he heard it once again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You hid this from them. Was it to protect them? Or was it to protect yourself?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop shitting me,” Cloud called out. “Who is it?” The man sat himself upright again and started looking around, wondering if it was perhaps the children playing tricks on him. “Marlene...Denzel...this isn’t funny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re ignoring my question. Did you hide your eventual fate from the children because you were afraid of getting too close to another human being again? That this was all for their benefit? Or was it because you’re trying to protect yourself from loving someone and having them get torn away from you again?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud wondered for a moment if it was Aerith calling out to him from the Lifestream. Or maybe it was someone else. But as he stared at a mirror hanging on the wall, he saw Tifa leaning up against his dresser, her ghostly smile radiating from within her. </span>
</p><p>"Tifa..."</p><p>He didn't want to turn, knowing that her spirit wouldn't be there. There was no waking up from this nightmare. Somewhere from beyond, he knew that his wife was telling him what he didn't want to hear: There would be collateral damage no matter how much he wanted to shield those he loved from feeling any pain from his demise. In the end, everyone would suffer. He had no one else to blame for it. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. From Her Hands</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Cloud came downstairs the next morning, he found that there was no one there to greet him. Instead, there was a note folded on the bar top addressed to him. It was written in a messy scrawl:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Taking the kids with me to Corel and the Gold Saucer. They need some time for themselves and to just be kids. No need to worry about them. I’ll be watching. Take some time for yourself. Barret.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man sighed and made himself some breakfast. He just made some cereal and poured cold milk over it, letting the corn flakes in its sugary coating soak in the cream. Cloud silently ate from a big bowl, ravenous. He then went to the fridge and started eating everything in there from the leftover pasta and scrambled eggs with bacon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Cloud had his fill, he walked over to the bathroom and emptied the contents of his stomach after having overeaten. He dealt with the fatigue and nausea, and it was all beginning to sink in that he wouldn’t have mornings to himself. He wouldn’t have mornings with the kids. It’d just be...whatever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So much for that,” Cloud mumbled. He wondered what he should do with the unexpected alone time he was given, though he had a feeling that it wasn’t merely because the kids wanted to go play at the Gold Saucer all of a sudden. After last night when Denzel blew up on him, the man couldn’t help but feel that the children probably didn’t want anything to do with him right now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pondered and debated whether he should maybe go tinker around the workshop, or even go for a ride on Fenrir to clear his head. After drinking a glass of water, Cloud instead decided to head back upstairs and figure out if there’s anything that he should be cleaning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bedroom where he slept was mostly clean, though the listless tossing and turning during the night knocked over some pillows and the blankets were strewn near the foot of the bed frame. Cloud sighed and slowly started making his bed. He tucked in the corners and folded the sheets. Soon, the bed was in pristine condition, prompting Cloud to bounce a coin off the surface. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guess that’s one thing SOLDIER was good for,” Cloud thought to himself. Though, he cringed. He wasn’t a SOLDIER. He couldn’t even make Third Class. He was literally just an average grunt who did the basic security detail whenever they needed some extra muscle or guards. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could only imagine what Tifa thought about him, though when his confidence and illusion shattered, Tifa was there to recover him. She saved him while he struggled to piece together his true identity. Now that she was gone, where did that leave Cloud? Who was he without her?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn it, Tifa,” Cloud said, rubbing his eyes. “These are the days when I really miss you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud headed out of the bedroom before closing the door. However, his gaze shifted towards the room upstairs. The room he left after Tifa passed away. It was a place where he felt would be too painful to sleep there anymore. He hadn’t returned to it since she died, and it has been more than a year since he last went there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thought timidly about going back to his past, but Cloud silently told himself that he was merely going in there to clean and to make sure that there weren’t any loose ends that he didn’t know about. So, he slowly headed upstairs, though each time he lifted his feet it felt like lead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was almost as if he was intruding on something, yet he knew that was silly. This was his room. It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>their </span>
  </em>
  <span>room. Cloud approached the closed door, took a deep breath and slowly turned the doorknob. The hinges creaked as Cloud peered inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man forgot how much he left behind during that year of grieving. Tifa’s presence could be felt in almost every part of the space. From the small vanity with a simple mirror. Tifa’s hairbrush was laid on top with a few of her precious strands of hair still caught in the bristles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bed was covered with a bedspread that Tifa and he picked out together a long while back with sky blue fabric and sprays of white flowers scattered on top. On the nightstand, Cloud saw the small bottle of shells he had brought to Tifa’s room during her last days at the hospital. The seashells they gathered together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud wasn’t sure how to feel about being in the space he avoided for more than a year. He dreaded being in there, fearful that his grief would overwhelm him and destroy him. However, he was also surprised to feel nostalgia for the memories that he made with his wife. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right at that moment, Cloud realized there was nothing more he wanted to do but to submerge himself in Tifa’s memories. He just wanted to spend some time thinking about her, and to remember all the things he loved about his wife. Things that he had buried in the back of his mind because he just couldn’t handle it at the time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, it was a longing to be closer to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud walked across the room and pulled apart the drapes to let some sunlight come through the windows. He carefully opened them, letting some fresh air circulate and to allow some of the dust to exit. Then, Cloud started to beat the pillows in order to get more of the dust off, and he remade the blue bedspread. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then, his mako-blue eyes fell upon the closet door where he knew that Tifa’s wedding dress hung. Cloud headed to the wardrobe and thrust it open, revealing the white dress that he felt was the most beautiful he ever saw her. He smiled wistfully at the sight, noticing that the pristine white color had started to yellow from oxygen exposure and time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man took the dress from the closet and then sat down on the bed with it. He closed his eyes and lifted the lace and tulle up to his face, breathing in the scent that reminded him so much of Tifa: fresh rain and gardenias. The smell of her perfume was faint, but still strong enough for Cloud to start weeping unexpectedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t feel pained. He felt as if there was some comfort in just allowing himself to miss his best friend. The one person on Gaia who truly understood him. Tifa had more faith in him than any other person, and she was the only one who shared his story and his past. She never abandoned him. Even when she was slowly succumbing to her disease, she never let him see her without a smile on her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Teef,” Cloud whispered, hoping that maybe Tifa’s spirit was watching him. He felt a heavenly presence, though he wondered if he was just imagining things. After a while, he slowly stood up with Tifa’s wedding dress and hung it back in the closet. When he closed the door, Cloud wondered if maybe it’s OK to return to the room and start sleeping in here again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as he was about to head out of the bedroom, Cloud felt his boots get caught on a loose floorboard that shifted slightly. Cloud frowned, wondering if that would be something he’d need to repair at some point. However, his sharp vision saw through the small gap something beneath the board. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grasped the board and lifted it up. Cloud wasn’t sure what he’d find, but what he didn’t expect was to be holding a small leather-bound book. On its cover was the embossing of wildflowers and stars. Feeling his heart race, Cloud opened the front page and was stunned to find familiar handwriting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Tifa’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud started wondering if maybe this was something he should leave alone, but the curiosity and desire to read and learn more about Tifa was something that he desperately wanted. So, he stood back up from the floor and sat on top of the bed with the journal in his hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flipping through the first page, he started to read and through his wife’s writing, he began to envision things through her eyes. </span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a bright summer’s day in Nibelheim. The villagers were all getting ready for their usual provincial lives, while the children gathered together in small groups to have fun. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There as the ringleader of sorts, Tifa Lockhart smiled at her friends. They were so fun to play with and to be around. Granted, the majority of them were boys and yet, they never treated her as someone who couldn’t keep up with them just because she was a girl who liked to wear dresses. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’d usually run through Nibelheim and chase each other with sticks as if they were make-believe swords. No one really batted an eye when she would round up the rear with scraped knees and a dirty skirt after trudging through the square with a big grin on her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>One summer day, the boys and Tifa crowded over a circle that was drawn into the dirt road in town. They had various marbles of different colors rolling around. The little girl watched as her friends continued to shoot marbles and try to knock another one out of the circle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was when she was about to take a turn when the boys suddenly looked up and started whispering amongst themselves. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s that freak again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the boys whispered harshly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa looked up to see what their focus was on and found that they were casting glances at a boy who just stepped out of his house next to hers. It was her neighbor, Cloud Strife. The young boy appeared to look hesitantly at the group of children before keeping to himself. He was small, and had blonde spikes for hair. His blue eyes seemed to shift as he tried to blink away from the sunlight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What is he doing out? </span>
  </em>
  <span>One of the boys hissed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you think he’s gonna try to come over?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whenever Tifa saw Cloud, she always attempted to smile and say hello, but the elder boy never seemed interested in engaging with her. Rather, he’d give her a blank stare and walk away. She never could get him to say a single word to her, and that bothered her a lot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa stood up, brushed off the dirt that gathered on her knees. She was determined to get Cloud Strife to talk to her and maybe, they could become friends. She smoothed out the wrinkles in her white dress with a navy blue ribbon that adorned the front after having crouched down for a long time playing marbles with the boys. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud!” She waved. Tifa tried smiling as friendly as she could, but Cloud as soon as he noticed Tifa waving at him, he looked away quickly and tried to walk faster away from her. This bothered the young girl greatly. The other boys stared at Cloud with apprehension and almost annoyance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ignoring me?!” Tifa shouted, her feelings hurt. Normally, she could get along with everyone in the village. But, for whatever reason, her next door neighbor didn’t seem to like her. The boy was only a year older than her and he seemed to keep to himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud seemed dumbfounded though, as he stared bewildered at Tifa’s confrontation. She didn’t know what to expect. She was hoping that perhaps he was going to apologize for being rude, but that seemed to fall on deaf ears as he merely turned away and kept walking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aw, forget him Tifa!” One of her friends called out to her. “He’s like that ‘cuz he has no friends!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Leave him alone,” Tifa chided to one of the boys. “That’s not very nice!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s true though,” another boy said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Not all the folks here like him. He’s a freak.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tifa bit her lip and looked at the elder boy walking slowly. She was hoping he wouldn’t hear what her friends had to say, but it was clear that he did and he wasn’t trying to listen to their verbal assaults. The little girl could only see the back of his head, his short yellow ponytail bobbed as he walked away before disappearing from sight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder why he never hangs around us</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Tifa wondered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Did I do something wrong to make him not like me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For being eight years old, Tifa never had trouble with making friends with anyone. So, it bothered her a great deal that there could be someone who didn’t want to play and just ignore them like they were undesirable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See? Forget him, Teef,” the boys called out to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you guys so mean to him?” Tifa asked rather critically. “He hasn’t done anything to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except being born,” one boy guffawed. The girl gasped and crossed her arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s really mean,” Tifa said coldly, causing the boy to look away in embarrassment. “I don’t see why we couldn’t invite him to come play with us. He’s probably just lonely.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boys exchanged looks and cleared their throats in discomfort. Tifa rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m gonna see if he wants to play with us, and if he wants to, then you better be nice!”</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt heat rise to his face as he held Tifa's journal. He found himself desperately clinging to any small memory of her from the past. These memories were so buried deep with his subconscious that even he would forget how much his heart clung to despite never resurfacing until now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lost years of never really getting to know Tifa made Cloud feel devastated. What was her favorite color? What was her favorite food? What type of movies did she like to watch? What was her favorite flower? Sure, these might seem like minute details, but they were things that made her the woman he fell in love with, and the person he admired from afar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt that he would finally learn more about the girl he admired from afar, and to see what she wrote about him during those years. Perhaps, there’s something else that would bring him closer to her. He kept reading. </span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until dinner that night that Tifa sought to find out more about the neighbor boy that everyone seemed to detest and to push out into the outer fringes of their community. Through all the years she lived in the same house on the same old side of town, she never knew exactly who Cloud Strife was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Papa?” Tifa asked, twirling her noodles. Her mother and father were sitting together at the dinner table. Brian Lockhart was the mayor of the village, and Tifa’s mother, Leah, was a beautiful woman who was known to many in the town as an angel of the mountains. She was noted for her kindness, and many people loved her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What is it Tifa?” Brian asked. Leah kept her focus on making sure that Tifa was eating her veggies, though the little girl was determined to get some answers that night. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The kids talked to me about this boy and for some reason, they hate him,” Tifa said slowly. Brian Lockhart stared at Leah and then returned his focus on Tifa, but didn’t interrupt. “They said that a lot of grown ups don’t like him either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a long pause, but her father sighed as he continued to eat his supper. Leah covered her mouth, her ruby eyes watching her husband continue to consume his meal in rather tense silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, sweet pea,” Brian said slowly. “But, that kid is bad news. You don’t need to worry your pretty little head about hanging around someone who brings nothing but trouble.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Have you actually...met him before Daddy?” Tifa asked. Her father slowly kept his eyes on his plate. “He seems to be pretty nice! Just...really quiet.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Tifa, I know his mother and that woman has been alone in that house for so many years without her husband,” Brian said rather shortly. “I don’t know what happened, but she’s a bit of a vibrant gal and she doesn’t seem to prioritize keeping her son in line.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Brian,” Leah said sternly. “That’s not very nice. Claudia has been through a lot...you should know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever met the kid?” Brian said in a heated exchange. “He’s always outside of our house, looking up at the window in the front. Makes me wonder if he’s gonna try breaking in and rob us blind.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh stop it, he’s just a boy,” his wife protested. Leah then turned to Tifa and nodded. “Just remember to treat everyone you meet with kindness, Tifa. Regardless of who they are. They deserve to be treated like how you’d like to be treated. Understand?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa nodded at her mother’s sentiments, though the little girl stared out the window during the rest of supper. She could see the faint outlines of a woman and a young child in the house next to hers. She wondered a lot about her neighbors, and thought to herself that it was strange for as hospitable her parents were to most of the town’s residents, they never really talked about the family next door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From the times she remembered seeing a woman gardening out back, and Cloud wandering the streets by himself, Tifa thought that it was kind of sad that no one really paid them a visit or cared to check in on them during the harsh winters. She wondered if there was something scary about them that caused others to stay away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, Tifa decided that she was going to march right up to Cloud’s house and talk to him. He couldn’t possibly turn her away if she decided to bring cookies, would he?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After painstakingly baking the cookies to a beautiful golden brown, she plated them onto a small china plate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She walked up to the door and gently knocked. Inside, Tifa could hear several footsteps before the door opened slightly. Out came an older woman with blonde hair tied into a high ponytail. The little girl looked up at her, and found that she had a kind face with blue eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you...Mrs. Strife?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am,” the woman answered quietly. She looked down at Tifa and smiled. “Oh? And what do you have there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cookies!” Tifa said, holding out the plate to Mrs. Strife. “I’m Tifa. I live next door.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice to meet you, Tifa,” Mrs. Strife said kindly. “What brings you over?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was wondering if Cloud was home,” Tifa said brightly, causing Mrs. Strife to smile. “I was hoping to share these treats with him and you, and maybe we can get to know each other?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s very neighborly of you,” Mrs. Strife said. She looked behind her and frowned slightly. “Cloud’s a bit shy, but I’m sure he’d love to get to know his neighbor. I’ve seen you play around the square a few times. My son’s always been sort of out of place.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She then smiled. “Where are my manners? Would you like to come inside?” Tifa smiled and walked into the house as Mrs. Strife quietly shut the door behind her. Then, the woman proceeded to head into the kitchen to put the cookies on the counter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa  immediately noticed how much smaller this house was than hers, but it felt somewhat cozier. Everything was in one large room. The kitchen, where there seemed to be a bubbling pot of stew simmering on the stove top, was adjacent to the small garden; Two beds were neatly made and sat on top of a platform that was separated from the rest of the house. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The little girl’s eyes widened at a bouquet of flowers that sat in a vase on the table, along with a small picture frame of Cloud and his mother staring into the camera. Though Mrs. Strife had a smile, Cloud didn’t. He merely gazed intently into the lens. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Would you like some hot cocoa, Tifa?” Mrs. Strife asked brightly. “Or, do you prefer tea? It’s been quite some time since I’ve had guests.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hot cocoa would be great!” Tifa said excitedly, her eyes shining. Mrs. Strife beamed and started breaking out the ingredients and mugs to make some. “Do you need any help, Mrs. Strife?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can call me Claudia, sweetie,” Claudia said with a smile. “And, no don’t you worry about me. I got everything under control.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa sat on a stool near the table and couldn’t help but wonder how bad Cloud could possibly be if his mother was so kind and sweet? The little girl pondered this as she looked around the house from where she sat. She wondered if it was just the two of them. She never saw Mr. Strife around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud’s father died when he was young,” Claudia said, interrupting Tifa’s thoughts. “So, he never knew his daddy. It’s just been the two of us in this little old house.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Tifa said quietly. “I didn’t know Cloud’s daddy wasn’t around.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s OK, you don’t need to apologize for anything,” Claudia said while mixing the hot chocolate with a spoon. She then came over and set a mug down in front of the little girl. “You’re very lucky to have a mommy and daddy who love and care for you. Don’t forget that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa sipped her hot chocolate, which tasted very sweet with some marshmallows melting on top. It was her favorite, and somehow, Claudia knew to make it the way she liked it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for making me hot cocoa, Mrs...I mean, Claudia,” Tifa corrected herself. She then looked around. “Do you get...lonely?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Claudia smiled. “You’re very perceptive for a young girl. I do sometimes, I’ll admit. But, I got Cloud and he’s always been a good boy. I think the two of you will be great friends.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just then Cloud stepped inside from the back, his hands dirty from digging through the dirt. He didn’t seem to notice Tifa as he washed his hands in the kitchen sink. He pumped the soap dispenser several times before lathered his hands with the foamy bubbles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud? You have a visitor,” his mother said gently. The little boy turned around, and immediately turned a bright shade of scarlet at the sight of Tifa sitting at the kitchen table with a plate of cookies. “Tifa’s her name, and she lives right next door.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” Cloud asked in such a shocked tone that it almost sounded rude. His mother frowned at his reaction, but Tifa smiled. “Don’t you have to get back to your buddies?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” Tifa said, shaking her head. “I wanted to come and get to know you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. What I Never Knew</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know Tifa's mother's name was never specifically mentioned throughout the FFVII universe, so I came up with Leah. I liked the sound of Leah Lockhart. So, if you were wondering why I gave her a name, for story telling purposes, I felt it was important to give a name to a character rarely talked about, or if she is, it's in a past tense and there's never really a backstory that led to her dying early in Tifa's life. </p><p>I wanted to flesh this out more with this implication. So, I hope you enjoy! I know things are pretty heavy and angsty, but this is pretty hard stuff. I'm hoping the next few chapters, we'll see some relief in one way or another.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cloud felt possessed, reading through the night Tifa’s journal entries. There were so many intimate thoughts and feelings that she conveyed from a young age that filled out her own backstory even more than he ever learned from afar and from up close. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reading through her entries, Cloud noticed how much more outgoing Tifa seemed. When she was younger, she was also more interested in expressing herself and getting to know others. Her favorite color was dark blue, and her favorite food was noodles. Her least favorite food was turnip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chuckled to himself as he learned about Tifa’s dreams and aspirations. She wanted to eventually find a place in Gaia where she could raise Chocobos and ride against the wind. There were places she wanted to go and to see. Tifa was beautifully imaginative, writing about having a childhood imaginary best friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whenever Tifa wrote about him, it was always something that mentioned how lonely he seemed and that she could see right through him. She often tried to see him as someone who desired to make friends, but always struggled to articulate it. After that brief meeting at his house, Cloud slowly remembered all the small moments when he would say hello to her, and she’d smile and wave back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It bothered him slightly that they weren’t close. Tifa wrote about her frustrations in trying to get Cloud to open up to others and that she wished they could be friends, there was always something that kept him distant from her. Surprisingly, it wasn’t even the kids who she hung around with. It was himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, his eyes stumbled across an entry leading up to the moment that changed Tifa’s life, and inevitably affected him so much to go on his own fateful quest. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>During the last few months, Tifa’s mother Leah was struggling to complete household chores. She kept dropping things and stumbling, when normally she was a graceful person. There were days when Leah couldn’t play with Tifa and opted to go upstairs to lay down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, came the days when she couldn’t move at all. She stopped walking and moving around. Leah couldn’t even eat or talk. Her words started slurring together, prompting Tifa to look on in fear about what was happening to her mother. Normally, Leah would be the one taking care of her daughter whenever she got hurt or sick, but it was completely different as a young child to see her parent wasting away without any word. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Papa...what’s wrong with Mama?” Tifa wanted the truth, though she knew that her father was withholding some information from her. It was frustrating, but Tifa knew that it was part of the relationship too. Her father was trying to protect her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s feeling really sick,” Brian said, sadly. “The doctor doesn’t really have a lot of good news.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-is that why Mama’s been falling down a lot?” Tifa asked worriedly. She snuck a peek at her mother who was sleeping in her bed. It scared Tifa a lot to see her mother so still and unable to move. “W-why is she sleeping so much lately?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Come to think of it, Tifa realized that her mother’s absences at the dinner table and her sleeping so much upstairs was something that never really crossed her mind. Brian would assure her that her mother just needed some rest and that she’d be back to playing with her soon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That never happened. Months had gone by and soon, doctors were visiting the house quite often. Tifa wondered if it was something serious. One afternoon, she and Brian were heating up some bone broth for Leah when there was a quiet knock at the door. Tifa looked up at her father who frowned slightly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Brian?” A male voice called out to him. “It’s me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tifa noticed that her father’s eyes seemed downcast and he tried to keep a smile on his face. He looked down at Tifa and patted her shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sweet pea, would you upstairs and play? Or, you can bring Mama some of the soup. I have a guest I need to talk to about something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He handed her a bed tray with a small bowl of soup and the steam wafted into her face, causing her to blink. “She might not eat it, but maybe the smell might tempt her,” Brian said hopefully. “If she’s awake that’d be good, but if not, just leave the soup on the nightstand, OK?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“OK Papa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good girl.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Brian started heading toward the front door while Tifa balanced the soup on the tray and headed upstairs with it. When she got to her mother, Tifa was startled by how pale Leah was and how thin and frail she looked. It frightened the girl, who normally saw Leah as one of the strongest people she knew. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now, to see her sleeping and looking so helpless, Tifa wanted nothing more than to just snuggle next to her and to pretend that everything was OK, when it clearly wasn’t. With a gentle kiss on her mother’s forehead, Tifa placed the bed try with the soup on the nightstand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mama?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no answer. Tifa tried to smile, but she couldn’t help but feel her lips trembling. She reached out and tucked a strand of her mother’s hair behind her ear. She was always so beautiful, and Tifa always wanted to look more like her when she grew up. Leah’s breathing was shallow and rattled against her chest. It was something that bothered Tifa greatly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still, she bit her lip and tried to pretend that nothing was wrong. She couldn’t afford to start crying simply because she was feeling sad. Her mother needed her to be strong and to take care of her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The soup’s there if you get hungry, OK? I’ll come check in on you later.” Tifa said brightly. She then proceeded to head downstairs when she heard her father and someone arguing in the kitchen, and the girl stood on the landing, peering downwards. She wondered if this was something she should be hearing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa normally would obey her father and go to her bedroom like he requested, but she was curious as to why he was fighting with someone right below them. She frowned, but she made a decision to at least try to get a sense of what was happening. So, she slowly snuck halfway down the stairs. Just enough where she was hidden from view from her father in the kitchen and whoever the guest was. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her heart beat rapidly, causing the little girl to worry that the heartbeat was so loud that even her father could hear it from the kitchen, though the likelihood of that was improbable. Tifa leaned up against the stair railing and tried to listen as closely as she could. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s no place around this side of the world where we can get her treatment, Brian. We’d have to travel all the way to Midgar—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely not!” Brian argued with frustration. “There’s no way we’d be able to take her over there, and you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>how I feel about getting help from </span>
  <em>
    <span>them.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa’s eyes widened, mortified at what she was hearing. Why wouldn’t her papa be wanting to help her mama if there was a chance to help her? Though, she wasn’t completely sure about what he meant by “them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you have your misgivings about Shinra, Brian. Believe me, we all do,” the doctor replied. “But, the way I see things you have two options: either get Leah to Midgar as soon as possible, and that’s not even a guarantee that she’d survive the trip or…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or, you just make her last days as comfortable as possible,” the doctor answered grimly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was silence, and some sounds of a man crying. Tifa was stunned that her father would be crying. He was never a man to really show his emotions in such a way. The little girl wanted to run to him and hug him and let him know that everything would be OK. But, she knew that this conversation taking place was most likely not meant for her to hear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, she stayed put in her hiding spot. It was when she heard her father slam something against the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What does this mean...for Tifa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a sigh. “I think you know that there’s always some risk. It’s extremely rare for someone within the same family to get this condition. I want to say that Tifa would be fine...but there’s always a chance for it to come when she’s older. There’s always a margin of error with this kind of thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not good enough! Tell me, is my daughter going to die too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s possible.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Tifa’s heart plunged into her stomach. She felt her hands shake as her father continued to sob. It wasn’t like Papa to be like this. Not weak or vulnerable. The little girl wanted to hug him desperately, but she knew that he’d scold her for eavesdropping on an adult conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it was something that bothered the little girl. She was going to die? Why? Did she do something wrong? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Brian, but this is what it is. There isn’t a cure for this type of motor neurone disease. You can try to make her take some painkillers and maybe some therapy, but there’s really nothing left we can do to help Leah. Tifa...I’d just make sure that she keeps herself safe and healthy. That’s all we can really do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyways, I gotta get going. There’s another house call I have to make near Gramp’s home.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sounds of chairs scraping against the floor prompted Tifa to quickly and stealthily head back upstairs. She felt the wetness of the tears rolling down her cheeks as she clamped her mouth shut with her hands. She didn’t want her father to know that she overheard everything. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud felt the urge to vomit again. Rage boiled in his veins as he finished reading the entry. Did Tifa </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>that she was going to die? That this was a potential cause for concern later in life? Why didn’t she say anything to him now that she was gone? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He read through the passage again, hoping that there was a misreading. But it was clearer with each read through that it was correct—Tifa knew since she was a child that it was possible that she could be carrying a gene that could kill her. She </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man threw the journal up against the wall, causing it to hit it and fall open on its spine. He breathed heavily trying to contain himself, and instead, he bit his lip and tried to focus on biting down hard enough that he could taste something metallic and sticky from the blood that was oozing from the marks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, Tifa knew. Cloud felt himself get angry, wondering for how long she knew that she was dying and decided not to tell him until at the last possible moment. How many years would she have kept it to herself? How many years could they have had together if she just got treated sooner?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you do this to me, Tifa? Why?” Cloud mumbled to himself. “Didn’t you trust me? Out of everyone in the world, why didn’t you tell me that you knew about this so much longer than you let on? Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was as if reading through her thoughts that there was a whole other side to Tifa that he never knew. It made him wonder how much he really knew his own wife.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. A Ridealong</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cloud wasn’t sure what happened, but everything that happened after his discovery about Tifa suddenly threw him into overdrive. The last thing he remembered was throwing a plate against the ground, and letting it shatter. The next thing he knew, he was surrounded in pure devastation of the place he called home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“DAMMIT!” The man roared and threw things up against the walls, shattered glass as he dry heaved at the thought of the secrets that Tifa kept from him. He felt his head getting heavier and a pounding headache pressed up against his temples. There was an urge to vomit, but Cloud kept his head buried into his hands as he sobbed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cloud?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man looked up and was surprised to see Yuffie standing in the doorway. The ninja looked around, stunned at what she arrived to see. “Yuffie? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Wutai taking care of your dad?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuffie’s eyes widened, taking in the sight of the nearly demolished Seventh Heaven. Tables were overturned, and glasses were shattered. Torn papers fluttered against the slight draft of the opened door where the ninja stood. Cloud sat in the middle of all of this, trying to calm down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“H-Hey! What the hell’s going on here?” Yuffie looked around, bewildered at what she was seeing. It was uncharacteristic of her to be rendered speechless, and for once, she didn’t open up her mouth to add any wisecracks. Instead, she found Cloud weeping and trying to get a hold of himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She knew.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who knew what?” Yuffie asked quietly. “Cloud? Why the hell are you like this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tifa. She knew that she was sick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course she knew, silly. She went to the doctor—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! She knew before then. She knew she could die when she was a kid!” Cloud shouted, angry tears starting to form in his mako-blue eyes, giving him an eerie glow that caused Yuffie to shudder. “How could she have done this? Why would she keep this a secret from me? I thought she trusted me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud breathed heavily, trying to control his rapid breathing. He was surprised that Yuffie didn’t try to interrupt and change the subject. The ninja merely stood there quietly, her brown eyes furrowed at what she seemed to process from Cloud’s discovery. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No offense, Cloud...but how is that any different from when you hid your Geostigma from all of us?” The ninja said slowly. “I mean, you’re giving her shit and she’s not even alive anymore. You’re being an ass to someone for basically doing the same exact thing you did to the rest of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not the point!” Cloud shouted, though he started wavering at the argument that Yuffie presented to him. For once, the young woman had a point. She cocked her head at him, puzzled at his attitude, though Cloud wasn’t in the mood to be told that what he felt wasn’t valid. “She kept this from me. We could have treated her sooner, maybe—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud noticed that Yuffie didn’t try to interrupt him, but she looked like she was uncomfortable. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go for a ride.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Cloud felt confused. Yuffie and him weren’t necessarily the closest, nor did they try to seek each other out for company. He was surprised that she suggested going for a ride together, and he wasn’t sure what it was that she wanted specifically. “I don’t have any Materia, if that’s what you’re looking for.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuffie snorted. “I already got most of the Materia that you were going to let me take anyway. But, no we need to go out for a ride, just the two of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re too young for me—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah, there pops,” Yuffie said, taken aback and waving her hands out in front of her in embarrassment. “I ain’t interested. Besides, I’ve already got someone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Last I checked, Vincent said the same exact thing—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“None of your business on who I see or don’t see,” Yuffie said, rolling her eyes. “Besides, Vincent’s taken a liking to me...at least, I’m working on it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That sounds weird…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyways, let’s go! Get your bike keys and let’s head out!” Yuffie said, motioning out the door. Cloud sighed and headed out the door, following the self-proclaimed White Rose of Wutai. Her energetic personality often drained his more introverted nature, though he couldn’t help but laugh at himself for being pulled into this sudden change of plans. Then again, when Yuffie was involved, it didn’t really matter. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The two sped off across the wastelands outside of Edge. Cloud was maneuvering Fenrir with so much finesse, though Yuffie, who still struggled with motion sickness, was turning green. “Gurk!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey! Don’t throw up back there,” Cloud said. “I just finished cleaning Fenrir a while ago. I don’t want to have to go through scraping off chunks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for caring,” Yuffie said with a groan. She reached into her cargo shorts and pulled out a small vial of tranquilizers. She then took a quick swig, and shook her head. “How come you don’t get motion sickness? I thought you got pretty bad cases?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m in the driver’s seat,” Cloud said quietly. “Tifa told me that while we were in the submarine hunting down Huge Materia. It did help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a long pause. Yuffie then lifted an arm and pointed to something in the distance. “Pull off there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh? Why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll explain later, just pull off there,” Yuffie said shortly. Cloud merely shrugged and followed Yuffie’s direction. Fenrir navigated the rocky terrain smoothly. Cloud felt his hair rushing through the wind, and a small smile returned to the corner of his lips. It was a while since he took a drive just for the simple enjoyment of it. He always felt better being unrestrained underneath such a wide sky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Cloud stepped on the brakes which caused the massive wheels on Fenrir to coast into a gentle stop. As soon as they finished rolling, Cloud couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of Yuffie climbing over her seat and immediately started to head toward some shrubs and vomited. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ugh…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You OK?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just gimme a minute!” Yuffie kept spilling the contents of her stomach, causing Cloud to keep some distance and trying to ignore the sounds of vomit hitting against the rocks. “Shit, that’s nasty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you bring me out here, Yuffie?” Cloud asked, his eyebrows furrowed. Yuffie danced from one foot to another. “This is…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuffie had brought Cloud to the outskirts on the cliffs where Zack had been gunned down by Shinra troops. In his stead, there were yellow flowers growing and swaying against a gentle breeze. This was where the Buster Sword used to be, before he decided to take it, polish it of rust and place it in the Sector 5 Church instead, where his spirit could be reunited with Aerith’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t get it, first off why are you here?” Cloud asked. “I thought you were supposed to be taking care of Godo since he got sick.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s why I’m here. He’s dead,” she said grimly. “I’m gonna miss the old coot, but can’t say that I’m completely upset.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dad is my dad,” Yuffie said coolly. “He’s not much of a dad, but I still loved him. Just...I’m not really into that mushy father-daughter stuff. He’s done plenty to piss me off over the years, and letting our nation fall after Shinra totally turned it into a tourist trap.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, Yuffie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ninja merely shrugged.Yuffie stared out in the distance  and Cloud did too, noting the former location of Shinra HQ before Meteor fell and destroyed it in its fiery glory.  “You know, when Shinra invaded Wutai we thought we were goners.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The Wutai War.” The young woman sighed. “I remembered wanting to join in on the fighting and beat those scumbags back to where they came. They didn’t like that we didn’t want a reactor being built on our sacred lands, but there they just decided to take what they claimed was theirs. Instead of fighting back, my dad just let our world totally waste itself away into nothing but a novelty and attraction to outsiders.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman looked down at her hands. “My mom, Kasumi, died from an illness when I was young. I sometimes think about her, and wonder if Godo would have turned out differently if she was still alive.” Yuffie then stared at Cloud, who was deep in thought. “I never thought I’d be coming to this place, but here I am.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuffie…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The young ninja looked at Cloud. “Did I tell you that in Wutai culture, we don’t tell those who have a terminal illness that they’re dying?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why would you not tell them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We believed that, they’d give up immediately if they knew that there was no hope for them,” Yuffie said earnestly. “Oh, I wanted to tell my mom that she was dying since it was such a huge ass deal. But, Godo kept me from telling her. He didn’t want her to get the stress of finding out and depleting her health. She needed every ounce of fighting spirit to keep going. We thought it was best to let her live out her days peacefully.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud silently stared at her before speaking. “I’m guessing you had a point to that story?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. You have every right to be mad at Tifa, but just see it from her point of view,” Yuffie said. “She thought she knew what was best for you by keeping herself focused on taking care of you, and making sure you didn’t give up. Sure, she was the one who hid that from you, but what would’ve you done? There’s no cure, and she probably didn’t want you to freak out anymore than you usually do. Plus, that whole cellular degradation thing...she talked about it sometimes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Cloud felt puzzled. “What do you mean, talked about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, Tifa and Aerith were close, but she and I also talk sometimes,” Yuffie said with a shrug. “She remembered that whole thing President Shinra said to you guys when bombing the reactors, and that weighed on her for the longest time. She just didn’t want you to struggle and to keep living so that you wouldn’t waste away any sooner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But there’s no cure for that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well no shit, but Tifa wanted you to keep living, even if it meant not focusing on her illness and you start spiralin’ like you have been doing,” Yuffie said with frustration. “Look, it’s not cool to keep things from people. We get that much. But, you also have to think about your intentions on why they’d keep it from you. There’s never a clear cut right or wrong reason. You just have to go with your gut and go for it, but be ready to explain why.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud stared down at his boots, the yellow flowers that sprouted where it was almost impossible to see any type of vegetation thrive when the Mako reactors in Midgar sucked up the Planet’s life energy through machines in the name of comfort. Now that Shinra disbanded and ruined, the Planet was slowly healing. The evidence of it was growing in the wastelands where nothing could grow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you keep things like your cellular degradation and Geostigma a secret from Tifa and the kids?” Yuffie asked, her arms crossed. She didn’t ask unkindly. “There had to be a good reason, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud didn’t respond. So, Yuffie continued. “You thought that you couldn’t help anyone because Aerith got murdered right in front of you, and that you couldn’t protect your friend from getting gunned down right? Or when Tifa fell off Mt. Nibel because she slipped?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuffie…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then Denzel got sick and you thought you could find a cure but ended up getting sick yourself,” Yuffie said firmly. “You left the family because you thought you’d be better off dying alone and away from everyone so that they couldn’t get sick, and you couldn’t fix it. That’s a lot of guilt to carry when you’re not responsible for any of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She then spun around on one foot, and stared at Cloud. “Look, I’m not telling you how to feel. That’s not the point. I’m just saying that everyone has reasons for not disclosing how they’re struggling. Mostly, because they don’t want to bring you down with them. Tifa didn’t tell you because she was protecting you, just like how you protect her. You guys...can be kinda gross sometimes with your lovey dovey stuff, but it’s pretty obvious from everyone else’s point of view that you care a lot for each other.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuffie then sighed. “Feeling like you’re betrayed is valid, but don’t let that suddenly destroy everything that you loved about Tifa, and why you two ended up together. Even if it was a short amount of time. Tifa’s not good at sharing her feelings, and neither are you. But, hey, what do I know about that kind of stuff?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud pondered this, staring at Edge from the cliffside, letting the breeze rifle through his hair as he breathed deeply. “Yuffie? When did you become good at this kind of stuff?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Beats me, age does that to folks.” The ninja winked. “But, I’m just sayin’ the kids are probably just feeling the same as you are about not telling them, just like you were about Tifa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh...you heard about that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Barret might’ve called and told me to check in on you,” she answered. “I’m surprised he asked me and not Cid or Nanaki or Vincent. Reeve...well is Reeve. But, I figured why not? I’m fine with coming out to see friends, especially after everything we’ve been through over the years. Be a shame to let that all go to waste.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She then frowned. “You might want to talk to Marlene and Denzel and just let them know how much you care about them. They’re just hurt that you wouldn’t tell them. Not saying one way is better than another, but at least let them understand you better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Never took you to be a softie,” Cloud chuckled. Yuffie was about to protest, but then she just giggled. “But, I appreciate you coming out to see me. I...I missed having friends around.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We never left,” Yuffie said bashfully. “Seriously though. You could stand to pick up your phone a little bit more. I thought Vincent was bad, but you’re also up right there with him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two laughed. Cloud felt the heartache and anger slowly dissipate. He wanted nothing more than to not feel completely helpless when it came to his inevitable death. But, he wondered what he could do to help protect the children and eventually just let the Lifestream take him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Yuffie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No problem! Now, can you drive me back? Slowly?” Yuffie said this brightly, but Cloud was saddened to see that she had tears forming in her eyes and she was trying to hide them from him. “I just wanna enjoy the ride.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure thing.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Slowing Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was a week later before the children returned from Gold Saucer with Barret. Though there was an awkward silence among everyone, it was clear that they all just wanted to be together and cherish the time that they had left together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel and Marlene looked up at Cloud, and then the two started sniffling. Cloud opened his arms to them, and the two immediately ran into them, sobbing into his clothes. There didn’t need to be any words. The three of them knew what was in the heart, and what they really meant to each other as a family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud quietly hugged them both and let them cry as much as they wanted. They held each other, and embraced their shared grief and anger. They knew that this wouldn’t fix anything, but they just needed a moment to release what they were feeling and to be there for each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Denzel sobbed into Cloud’s shirt. The man just continued holding his son and held him dearly. Marlene sniffed as Cloud gently drew her into their embrace, the three of them as one unit. It seemed impossibly cruel to have continued tragedies and misfortune strike them, but it was at this moment they felt peace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud snuck a glance over at Barret who stood silently in the background. He merely met Cloud’s gaze and the two gave a curt nod, acknowledging the things that they couldn’t change. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within the following months, Cloud felt himself slowly degrade. His muscles were stiffening, and his reflexes were beginning to grow less reactive. During that time, he began putting things into place. Barret would take Marlene and Denzel with him to live in Kalm, where Elmyra would also watch over them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He then placed Seventh Heaven on the market for sale, waiting for the right buyer to purchase it. With the money, Cloud decided to open up a savings account for both Marlene and Denzel, so that the children would have something to get an education and to build up their futures. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud noticed that his normally enhanced hearing and reflexes were beginning to dissipate. He wasn’t able to react as quickly. His vision was slowly becoming blurrier. He was afraid that perhaps that was one of the signs that he was losing his battle. His sight would eventually be claimed, meaning that he wouldn’t be able to see anymore. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That meant he wouldn’t be able to ride Fenrir or continue running Strife’s Delivery Service. It was all beginning to crash down on him, and that his time was coming to a close. It was all overwhelming, but Cloud tried to keep it together as he figured out other ways to continue running the businesses without his sight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With his vision failing, Cloud felt himself slowly trying to remember and memorize the details of the children’s faces. Marlene’s cute laugh and Denzel’s shy smile. They were becoming etched onto his heart, even if he couldn’t see beyond a few blobs and blurry lines. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friends would swing through now and then to spend some time talking to him. Nanaki came through and wished him well, though the beast howled a mournful howl that reminded Cloud of the time that he mourned for his father Seto in the cliffs of Cosmo Canyon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cid and Shera came by, though the two mostly sat in silence. Cid smoked his cigarette, much to Shera’s chagrin, though Cloud even asked for a smoke. The two shared some cigarettes together, quietly recounting their adventures and time together saving the Planet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vincent came through once, though Cloud couldn’t see him, he could sense that someone was in the room. It was a presence that was familiar, and yet melancholic. He knew that Vincent was trying to be there for his friend, despite not always being the more forthcoming about the relationships he had built over the years, still preferring to wander alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reeve would come by every now and then with a doctor to check in on Cloud’s cellular degradation, though Cloud thought it was pointless, as with every appointment, the doctor merely sighed. There was no cure, no matter how hard they wanted there to be one. The capsules they provided for Cloud to ease his pain were experimental, and though things were tense, Cloud did his best to show his appreciation for Reeve on his assistance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Reeve,” Cloud muttered through his painkiller induced daze. “I guess it could be worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome, Cloud,” Reeve would reply back, though Cloud couldn’t see the expression on his face. “It’s really the least we could do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elmyra made a point to come and stay at Seventh Heaven so that Cloud would have someone care for him as he slowly started experiencing daily pain that was growing more and more excruciating. While the children were pleased to see Elmyra more often, they also knew that meant Cloud was also getting sicker. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning!” Elmyra said with a smile. She brought in a bed tray with beef broth soup. “This’ll give you some strength, plus keep the nausea at least minimal.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, Elmyra.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman slowly placed the bed tray on Cloud’s lap as he sat upright. Sweat made his spikes cling to his forehead as he reached over to feed himself some of the broth. He fumbled around on the bed tray, and found the spoon. He carefully spooned some of the soup into his mouth, the savory and refreshing liquid cleared his sinuses, and the back of his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That tastes good.” Honestly, it hurt to drink. Cloud hadn’t been able to take in solid food in a while, and so reverted to a mostly liquid diet. His weight, though already a slim frame, grew lighter and his face grew thinner. He normally would take a few slow bites, but he’d quietly spit it out in a napkin to make sure it appeared that he was eating. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s something I always make for those who get sick,” she said. Elmyra wiped the back of her hands on her apron. “But more importantly...did you take your medication?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud groaned. Reeve’s researchers at the WRO started unraveling some of Hojo’s experiments and logs to search for clues that could delay the degradation process, or perhaps even put a stop to it entirely. But that meant taking an insane amount of pills that would cause his intestines to writhe, and his stomach to empty itself. It meant exhaustion and barely being able to carry on with a conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better take it,” Elmyra said with a bracing smile. “I know you don’t like it, but it’ll help with your symptoms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt around and gently picked up the green-colored capsules on the tray and swallowed them with a glass of water that Elmyra helped him grasp in his hand. Each swallow felt like broken glass scratching the inside as he attempted to keep the medicine down. He felt his face flush from the warmth the pill’s contents released, sending some pain medication throughout his blood. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon, he felt the aches and stabbing pain dissipate, replaced with the dulling of his senses. Cloud sighed as he laid back down in bed, though he tried to sit himself in a way that made him seem less helpless than he felt. However, Elmyra gave him a stern look in the eye before she turned away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m selling Seventh Heaven,” Cloud said quietly. “The children understand. Barret thinks it’s a good idea, and I wouldn’t even know who’d take over after I’m gone. It’s best this way.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The woman nodded, though her gaze seemed clouded. “I see.” Elmyra smiled sadly. “It’s hard to see a beautiful home go for sale. It must’ve been a difficult decision to let something so precious to you go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was, and I really wish that I didn’t have to,” Cloud said quietly. He stared down at his hands. “I just think the money I make off of it, can go to the children’s schooling and their future. I don’t need the money where I’m going. Wherever I can help the kids, then that’s something I’d rather focus on now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was an immense silence as Elmyra tried to keep herself from crying, and Cloud seemed that much more attuned with how much his friends were worrying about him and were fearful of the uncertainty. He gently placed a hand on top of hers, and she grasped it lovingly like a mother. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, I’ve lost plenty of people in this life,” Elmyra said. “My husband, Aerith and now...you’re also going to be moving on and sometimes, life just doesn’t make any sense to me. I try to see the greater design of how these things are worked on by the Fates or by the Planet. But, in the end, I guess this will always be a great mystery.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud nodded. “It’s hard accepting things you can’t change. I learned that a long time ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elmyra grasped his hand tightly, her tears rolling down freely. “I’m so sorry that this is how the cards played out for you. It...it just doesn’t seem right. To have suffered so much, and to be punished in this way. It just makes this whole thing seem so cruel.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man merely shook his head. “Elmyra, you know that I knew going into SOLDIER that I’d be giving up a normal life for power, and that this is the consequence of that. I wanted nothing more to prove to everyone that I’m not just some weak kid. This is the price I paid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elmyra laughed ruefully. “You never made SOLDIER. Shinra experimented on you. You still believe that you deserve to have your life taken away from you so soon? Even after everything you’ve done to save the Planet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like you said, this will always be a mystery,” Cloud said with a feeble attempt at a shrug. “I’m not angry anymore. I’m just tired. These days, I just want to take a long nap and think about whether I’d be seeing all my friends and family again in the Lifestream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He then frowned. “Though...with everything that happened, I’m not sure if the Lifestream would want to take me. I might get stuck somewhere and never forge with the Planet. I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s best not to worry,” Elmyra said reassuringly. “Aerith talked about these things a lot when she was alive, and she always told me that there’s always a chance of redemption and always time for hope. Without it, we’d all be lost and wandering in the dark.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She clasped her hands together and brought them over her heart. She smiled. “I always dream that I’d reunite with Aerith and my husband someday. I’d meet them again in the place where there’s supreme happiness, and that I’d find my Promise Land. I’d die in my sleep in the warmth of my bed, feeling fulfilled with my life.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s...really nice, Elmyra,” Cloud said, looking up at the ceiling. He felt himself tear up at this, trying to keep his focus on a small crack. But, he was failing. “I-I think about everyone I’m hoping to meet again. My mom, Zack, Aerith and...and…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He paused, trying to form the right words. But, he couldn’t find them. He knew the person he wanted to see the most, and he desperately wanted to hold her in his arms and never let her go again. Cloud suddenly felt a slight pressure on his shoulder and found Elmyra holding onto him for support. He slowly lifted his hand to her and touched it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure she’s waiting for you too,” Elmyra said quietly. “I know she is.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. A Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was after supper one night that Cloud was surprised that the entire Avalanche group gathered in his bedroom. They surrounded his bed with drinks and swapped stories and memories. These days, he was rendered blind. He didn’t have much strength to do much else, and was sleeping most days. It was a wonder that he could stay up past supper to meet with everyone in the gang and to talk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Cloud listened to everyone talking, it felt almost like the old days when they were chasing Sephiroth on the far corners of Gaia and they spent those nights camping underneath the stars or out in the inns of various towns. The nostalgia almost prompted him to wipe his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, Cloud, for someone dying you’re not freaking out about it,” Yuffie said, prompting some folks to groan. “Like, really. Why aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yuffie, you could show a bit more tact,” Reeve said, gripping his forehead. “That’s probably the last thing Cloud wants to talk or think about right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But—” Yuffie began, before Vincent’s glare caused her to silence herself. “I get it, but I’m just gonna miss the guy, that’s all. You all act like this is just some goodbye party when he’s dying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was silence, but Nanaki shook his head. “No one wants Cloud to die, but since we can’t stop it. We should honor the time we have with him left. Whatever he wants. We can give him that at least.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud shook his head. “I’m good, you guys. Really, I appreciate you all coming to see me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who says we’re here for you?” Barret said roughly. “I’m here because I live here and I wanted a reason to drink.” Yet despite his harsh exterior, Cloud knew that his friend was feeling burdened by the inevitable and was hiding his true feelings. He could hear it in his sniffling and the swig from a bottle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You drink anyway, Barret,” Cid said with a smoke. Shera stood up and opened the bedroom window. “Man, I never thought we’d be doing this again. It’s nice. Why don’t we do this more often?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone muttered in agreeance. After several long minutes of silence, Denzel and Marlene stood up. They wished to go to bed, and the two quickly embraced Cloud who weakly returned a hug of his own. “We love you, Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you both too,” Cloud answered. “Be good, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see you in the morning,” Marlene said. “Right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Denzel didn’t say much, aside from an “I love you.” He was growing up, and soon would be a teen who’d be too cool to say things like that aloud. But, Cloud knew what Denzel struggled to say and merely told him, “You’re gonna be fine. Look after Marlene, alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you, Denzel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you, Cloud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone slowly started cleaning up and wishing Cloud a good night. When he was sure that everyone was gone, Cloud felt a sleepiness start to overcome him. He wanted nothing more than  to go to bed. His eyes were slowly closing, as he felt a heaviness that he never felt before overcome him. Soon, he fell asleep, a darkness came and claimed him as he began to dream. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>There were faint whispers, voices that called out to Cloud as he opened his eyes and was startled by his clear vision. It was darkness surrounding him. His first reaction was to jump upright and to reach for his sword, but when he couldn’t feel the familiar hilt to the Fusion Sword, he immediately began to panic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>However, the whispers grew louder and almost deafened him, but he then knew where he was. It was a familiar place where the cries of the Planet screamed when the Mako was being drained from its life source. But, here they were now almost quietly cooing like a newborn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The familiar green glow and orbs of light floated around him like fireflies. Cloud felt its gentle warmth and tried to grasp it, but merely phased through them. As his fingers went through the glowing light, flashes of his life and memories flooded through his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were scenes of Nibelheim burning to the ground, the bombing of the Mako reactors, and the pain of seeing Zack getting murdered right in front of him, and Aerith slumping over at the altar in the Forgotten City, her White Materia falling into the waters below. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud saw Tifa’s body crumpled up at the bottom of the metal stairs in Mt. Nibel reactor, and he carried her safely away. There were glimpses of the night sky where they made their promise at the water tower in town. Meteor crashed into Midgar, and Bahamut SIN wreaked havoc in Edge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then there were the good memories. The small moments. Tifa and the children chase each other in a field of wildflowers, Cloud and Tifa making love. Them getting married and dancing. Tifa’s smile. Her beautiful smile that gave him hope that everything would be OK. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was then, when he heard someone clear their throat. He turned around and saw the familiar faces of Zack and Aerith standing in front of him, smiling at him. Cloud felt his heart stop beating as he witnessed the glow of their spirits. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Zack...Aerith!” The three wrapped each other in a hug as they laughed and cried at their meeting. It had been years since they saw each other alive, and now, they were back together in the course of the pulsating Lifestream. When Cloud finally released them, he then started questioning their appearance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, does this mean that I’m—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Aerith gently placed a finger up against Cloud’s lips. Her emerald green eyes that held startling beauty and mystery as the knowledge of the Cetra flowed in her veins. Her smile that lit up the skies, and made Cloud realize how much he missed her presence in his life, blossomed like a flower in spring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We missed you, Cloud.” Aerith smiled even brighter as Zack came forward and clapped against Cloud’s back. The young man, killed in the prime of his life, was now back together with Aerith. They found each other again after their lives were taken away from them. Yet, they both did it to protect the people who they loved. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s been a while,” Zack said good naturedly. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you in person. You look…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He then frowned. “Well, different, I suppose. Still have that nest of Chocobo head I see.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Watch it,” Cloud said with a smirk. He then felt his smile falter. Standing in the darkness, he knew that he had the two of his dearest friends there as he assimilated into the Lifestream. That he knew as much. But, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed that there was at least one person he wanted to see the most.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s up?” Zack asked. “Something wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just thought—” Cloud felt the words in his throat lock, and he turned away. “Well...I’m happy to see both of you. You have no idea. I never thought this day would come when we could be together again. It’s just—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s as if Aerith could read his mind, she started smiling even more brightly. “Well, we best be getting on our way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Zack seemed confused. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cloud needs some privacy,” Aerith giggled. She then linked her arm through Zack’s and started walking away. “We’ll see you soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean he needs </span>
  <em>
    <span>privacy</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Zack asked with emphasis. “We’re in the Lifestream! There’s no </span>
  <em>
    <span>privacy </span>
  </em>
  <span>in the Lifestream. You know that more than anyone, Aerith.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Cetra turned her gaze towards the ex-SOLDIER First Class, who then stopped talking. Her eyes were softening in a way that the man loved. He then slowly realized what she meant, and started blushing a faint pink. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. OK, I get it now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought you might appreciate giving your friend some space,” Aerith said with a smile. “After all this time apart, I’m sure you’d want some time to be with the person you missed the most.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Cloud closed his eyes, waiting as the knowledge of the Planet flowed all around him. He waited. It was as if the Planet seemed to answer his own desires as there was an intense flow of energy that circulated in swirls and bright lights. He felt like he was standing in a room with millions of fireflies as they danced around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cloud</span>
  </em>
  <span>, a familiar voice called out to him. It was a voice that made him lose his breath. He hadn’t heard it in so long that he almost started forgetting what it sounded like. But, as soon as he heard his name, he knew who it was. The familiar ache in his heart almost turned into a full gallop like wild horses running across the open prairies underneath the freedom of the blue skies. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He saw more intensity in the floating orbs starting to gather, and a corporeal form started to emerge from thin air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, that was when Cloud saw </span>
  <em>
    <span>her. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His mako-blue eyes widened at the sight of the woman he loved forever materializing in front of him. Her long hair fluttering, her carmine eyes glowing in the light. Her lovely, shy smile directed at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tifa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two just stood there, staring at each other as if they just met. Tifa didn’t stop smiling. Cloud didn’t know how to react. He didn’t want to believe it was true. He didn’t want to think that what he saw was a dream. But here she was, standing in front of him after being separated from him when her disease claimed her life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, she was there, standing and free from that illness. Cloud didn’t remember running. His arms opened wide and embraced her spirit. He feared that perhaps that she wouldn’t be solid and that he’d go right through her. But, instead, he was met with the familiar feeling of wrapping his arms around the girl he loved. The girl he missed more than anyone on the Planet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was finally back in his arms. They wept as they clung to each other, running their hands through each other’s hair, feeling the strands as they felt the immensity of that moment. After everything they had suffered, they were here together again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” Cloud whispered to her. Tifa shook her head, almost laughing through her tears as they held each other tightly amidst the flow of the Lifestream swirling around them. “I’m so sorry, Tifa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re here, now,” Tifa answered, wiping the back of her hand against the tears falling down her cheeks. “I waited so long to see you again.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud looked intensely into her eyes. “What happens now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you want,” Tifa said quietly. “I thought I’d wait for you, and when you finally got here...we could leave together and head for the Promise Land together.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s real, then?” Cloud asked. He started smiling. “You didn’t need to wait for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know me,” Tifa shrugged. “I figured you’d throw a fit if I didn’t. Plus, Aerith and Zack kept me company. We were worried about you, you know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She then gently shoved him. “Next time, believe people when they say they love you and care about you. Preferably, the first time around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll remember that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud then felt a lump rise in his throat. “Did you see…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our parents say hello,” Tifa said with a smile. “Papa wasn’t at first thrilled, but he then learned about everything you did for me afterwards, and he’s let go of all of that. Things between you and him settled. It’s OK now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa then smiled. “Your mother, she said she was proud of you. She would’ve waited, but then she found your father and they went ahead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about your mom?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Mama and Papa are together again,” Tifa said with tears flowing freely. “Everyone is back where they should be.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud nodded, trying to hide his own tears. “What about...the kids?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’ll come meet us when they’re ready,” Tifa said sadly. “They have their whole lives to live. I’m sure we’ll meet everyone again someday. When they’re ready, then we’ll be there. But for now, it’s our time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gently lifted her hands toward Cloud, who took it in his own. “I’m so glad we got to meet each other again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Cloud whispered. He stroked Tifa’s hair and kissed her forehead. “I missed you so much, Tifa. I-I never realized how much I loved you until I lost you. You were and are everything to me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa clung to Cloud’s chest. Cloud’s arms wrapped around her like a shelter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is it scary?” Cloud asked softly. “To join the Lifestream? W-will we forget each other? Would we lose what makes us, </span>
  <em>
    <span>us </span>
  </em>
  <span>when it’s time?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a pause, but Tifa just kept holding onto Cloud and stared up at him. His arms continued to hold her securely. “No,” Tifa said, shaking her head slowly. “It’ll be alright. Besides…” She then smiled. “Even if we lose each other in this life, we’ll always find each other in the next. I’ll keep looking for you, Cloud. I’ll never lose you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cloud nodded in agreeance. He then started to smile one of his rare smiles in return. “What’s up? Cloud? You’re smiling again,” Tifa said. “It’s a pretty rare thing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know...but the funny thing is this is the first time I’ve felt so much peace in a long time,” Cloud said, shaking his head in mock frustration. “It just happened to be after I died.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not funny.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, but I know that I’ll be OK.” He paused. “Because, I have you this time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>had me,” Tifa corrected, though she kept smiling. “You know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but what I mean is different,” Cloud said. He laughed. “I have you, forever this time. There’s no question about it. There’s nothing that can keep us apart anymore. We’re free, Tifa. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Free</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tifa realized the immensity of Cloud’s words, when she started laughing and crying again. “We’re really free, aren’t we? Oh, Cloud...we’re finally free.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No more illnesses. No more devastation. No more forces trying to keep them apart. Here they were, reunited in the soft, warm tendrils of the Lifestream. Two spirits that were tied together, and were constantly threatened to be unraveled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s gonna be alright,” Tifa said quietly. She caressed Cloud’s face. “It’ll be alright. You’re not alone. You were never alone, you know that right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Cloud said back to her. “I have you, and that’s why I know. I’ll never be alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two shared their first kiss in years, surrounded by the glowing lights of the Lifestream gathering together beneath their feet. As the Lifestream slowly started to assimilate both of them, their eyes never left each other. Their smiles break through the darkness as the glow of the lives that came before them from death, and the new life born from their own spirit energy takes its first cry. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the first time in their lives, Cloud and Tifa felt peace. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Epilogue: A Star is Born</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Several years later, Edge changed. Seventh Heaven was sold and no longer a prominent spot in the city. The metropolitan grew outwards, though the WRO made sure not to exceed the wastelands. Where there was barely any life, now, there was new growth in grass and even some flowers that cascade new green. </p><p> </p><p>Standing on the cliffs overlooking the land was Denzel. Now 16, he was gangly and tall. His mop of brown hair was now cut cleanly, and his blue eyes were no longer hidden behind long curly bangs. He appeared silent and strong. For years after losing those he loved the most, he grew hardened by his circumstances. Yet, he always tried to remember what Cloud told him before he passed. </p><p> </p><p><em> You’ll be fine </em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” Denzel turned and saw that Barret was waving at him from the truck. The man who he now had as a father figure was sitting in the running truck with Elmyra who was also waving from the passenger side. Now that they lost both Cloud and Tifa, Denzel and Marlene were raised by Barret and Elmyra.</p><p>Barret had actually decided to move to Kalm so that the two children wouldn’t be separated from everything after all they had been through. He had once said that a broken family unit was still a family. It may be little, but the pieces were still just as good. </p><p>“Denzel, you comin’?” Barret hollered at him. “We’re leaving!”</p><p>“I’ll be there in a sec, Barret,” Denzel shouted back at him. “You don’t need to wait up for me. I can drive Fenrir.”</p><p>“Aw, alright.”</p><p> </p><p>Just then a young teen girl started walking towards Denzel. It was Marlene. She turned around and waved to her father. “Daddy, I’m gonna ride home with Denzel.”</p><p>“Suit yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>Barret and Elmyra drove off, leaving Marlene and Denzel alone. </p><p> </p><p>Marlene approached Denzel slowly and stood next to him, the two looked out into the great expanse of the wastelands near Edge. What didn’t surprise them was the growth of new plants sprouting and slowly overtaking the lifeless dirt that Midgar used to drain. </p><p> </p><p>“It seems so different now,” Marlene said quietly. She tucked a strand of her dark hair behind her ear as the wind blew gently against their faces. “I grew up in Midgar, and never thought I’d see the day when the flowers would start growing outside of it.”</p><p> </p><p>No longer the small little girl she used to be. She grew several inches and her long hair was now cascading down the small of her back. She wore a blue dress and her brown eyes warmly shined. Denzel was surprised to see how much Marlene resembled Tifa in personality, and now, almost in appearance.</p><p> </p><p>“Things are changing, Marlene,” Denzel answered. He then turned to her. “We’ve changed too.”</p><p> </p><p>It was true. Ever since Cloud and Tifa died, the two of them grew up even faster. Now shaped from their past, the two teens were now approaching adulthood, with very little of their childhood to look back on fondly. Except for the bright years where their deceased loved ones would make it happier for them. </p><p> </p><p>Marlene shook her head. “I miss Tifa and Cloud. I think about them every day.”</p><p>“I know, I miss them too,” Denzel replied softly. He grabbed hold of her hand as if to reassure her that he wasn’t going anywhere. “But, you know what? Cloud made me promise to look after you, and I try to keep my promises.”</p><p> </p><p>The girl smiled. “I know. You did a real good job taking care of me. Cloud is probably really proud of you.”</p><p>Denzel’s felt a smile of his own curling at the corners of his lips. There was nothing more that the teen desired, was to know if Cloud could see the young man he was growing up to be. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s different without them,” Denzel admitted. “Do you even remember what Cloud and Tifa sounded like?”</p><p>Marlene shook her head. “Every now and then, I remember. But, it’s getting harder I’ll admit.”</p><p> </p><p>She smiled slowly. “Remember when Tifa and Cloud used to make waffles in the morning?”</p><p>Denzel scrunched his face, trying to recall the memory and smiled. “Yeah, once Cloud burnt it so bad that Tifa could use the burnt bits as charcoal for the pulled pork that day.”</p><p> </p><p>“I was wondering why it tasted like maple,” Marlene retorted. They both started laughing until their sides hurt, their tears from mirth rolling down their faces. It was good to laugh after all the pain that they endured throughout the years. Any semblance of normalcy was what they craved. </p><p> </p><p>The sun was sinking east, meaning that the night was coming and soon it’d be dark. The transitioning hues of oranges and blues blanketed the sky. Denzel smiled. He loved seeing the sunset. Marlene looked at Denzel, her eyes shining with excitement. </p><p> </p><p>“Are we gonna find it today?” Marlene asked. </p><p>“I think so, if we look hard enough.”</p><p> </p><p>The two looked at the sky, and soon, the blue velvet of the night adorned the sky. Marlene and Denzel stared at the millions of stars that started to appear. It was heavenly, and the two gasped at the beautiful lights. No matter how often the two did this, they would always be amazed by the light that would shine brilliantly like diamonds. </p><p> </p><p>Denzel breathed in the fresh air and closed his eyes. It was relaxing and peaceful. </p><p> </p><p>“Look!” Marlene said excitedly. She pointed to a bright star that shined luminously. It was a beautiful one that sparkled in almost an icier blue than the others. “There it is.”</p><p> </p><p>Denzel nodded. After Tifa died, Denzel, Marlene and Cloud had named a star after her. Heaven’s Heart. If one were to look at the constellations correctly, it’d be found always shining above a fixed point above Nibelheim, where the two lovers would meet at the water tower and cement their fates together with a promise. </p><p> </p><p>Though it had been illusive, they had found it at last shining above Nibelheim a few months ago. Seeing this star, Denzel and Marlene were thrilled. They finally felt like Tifa was saying hello to them both. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey Tifa. We miss you, say hi to Cloud for us,” Marlene said waving at the star. Denzel smiled and ruffled her hair. </p><p>Just then, Marlene gasped. Her eyes widened. The sudden reaction prompted the older boy to look down in worry. </p><p>“Are you OK?” He asked. Marlene shook and pointed at the sky next to Tifa’s star. </p><p> </p><p>Denzel looked at where she was pointing and then his eyes found it. Shining right next to Tifa’s star, was a newborn star. It was shining brilliantly in a matching hue and it was unmistakable that it looked as if it belonged together. A pair of stars shining in unison. </p><p> </p><p>“I think Cloud says ‘hey’ too,’” Denzel whispered, causing Marlene to smile and weep at the same time. “So...they’re together now.”</p><p><br/>
“They found each other,” Marlene said in a near whisper. “They really did find each other again.”</p><p>After a few minutes of silently watching the new star shining brilliantly next to Heaven’s Heart, Marlene and Denzel knew that they needed to get back home. Denzel nodded at Marlene who stood at the edge of the cliff and waved in the direction of the stars. </p><p> </p><p>“We love you guys,” Marlene said. “You better take good care of each other!”</p><p> </p><p>The stars continued to shine brilliantly, almost winking at the two of them. Denzel smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, they’re going to be OK now.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that is the end of Your Hands in Mine. I never thought this story would go on for this long, but I felt so inspired to write something like this for Cloud and Tifa. I know it's been sort of an emotional roller coaster, but I feel that their love can endure anything, even something so tragic and traumatic as this. </p><p>Thanks so much for reading, supporting and encouraging! Let me know if you want anymore stories from me, or give me ideas to start my next project. Looking forward to reading your responses! Thanks again. </p><p>-Luvless34</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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